Ep. 162 Speak From Your Scars, Not Your Scabs with Elaine Mingus

[00:00:06] I'm Michele Simms and this is The Beauty in the Mess, a community where people who crave a shift in mindset, personal growth, and connection to like-minded people come together to start rewriting their stories. Through engaging, honest, and insightful conversations, the show will help you embrace the mess to recognize the meanings and the lessons it holds and discover its hidden treasures to help you start making a mindset shift. Let's listen, learn, and reclaim who we were meant to be.

[00:00:33] Hi friend, welcome to The Beauty in the Mess. Today's guest has one of those stories where you almost don't know where to begin. Elaine Mingus survived childhood sexual abuse, battled bulimia for eight years, struggled with heroin addiction, and somehow came through all of that with a faith that is incredibly strong. Today she's a mom of seven, an entrepreneur, a speaker, an advocate, an author, a pageant coach, and Mrs. Texas USA Globe.

[00:01:00] But honestly, that's just a small part of our conversation. We talk about what healing actually looks like when you've been through some really hard things and how you keep your past from controlling your future. And something Elaine said that really stuck with me. When you share your story, you want to speak from your scars and not your scabs. We also get into faith, motherhood, purpose, and maybe we're never completely done healing. This is a really open conversation and I think there's something in it for a lot of us.

[00:01:29] Hi, I'm Michele Simms, your host. I'm just a regular person who, like so many others, has faced my fair share of messes. Life hasn't always been neat or easy, but it's taught me a lot. And somewhere along the way, I got deeply curious. How do other people make it through their messes and not just survive, but thrive? That started my pursuit. I started searching for stories, wisdom, and real strategies, not only for myself, but for anyone looking for a better way forward.

[00:01:56] Maybe there is a faster way, a softer way, a more human way, and maybe we don't have to figure it out all alone. I believe we grow through shared stories, lived wisdom, and the beautiful mess of being human. So welcome to the conversation. I'm so glad you're here. If you're here, please join me for episode 162 of The Beauty in the Mess called Speak from Your Scars, Not Your Scabs with Elaine Mingus. So without further ado, let's get into it. Hi, Elaine. Welcome to The Beauty and the Mess.

[00:02:25] I'm so grateful to have you with me today. Thank you so much for having me. It's an absolute pleasure and blessing. Oh, thank you. Now, I know your life has been so vast. I can't cover everything this quickly, but I know you're a survivor. You're an author. You're Mrs. Texas. You're a huge variety of things. But before we dig into who you are today, I was wondering if you would tell us a little bit about your backstory.

[00:02:51] Because I think when people hear about where you've come from, it means so much more than when they know you've been there, you've done this, if that's their same journey or a similar journey. Absolutely. So my name is Elaine Mingus. I am United States of America's Mrs. Texas 2025, and I'm currently Mrs. Texas USA Globe 2027. So I'll be competing next year for the title of USA Globe. So I'm super excited about that.

[00:03:19] So all the pageant prep, everything going into thing right now in my life. But rewind to me just growing up in a small town. We had been living in Houston, Texas. I'm in Austin currently. And my dad wanted us to move out of the big bad city where the drugs and all the bad people live. But what he didn't realize was that bad people lurk in very unsuspecting places. In my case, it was a adult youth pastor of the church we were going to.

[00:03:48] It was grooming not only me, but multiple girls in the youth group. And it wasn't found out until 10 years later, like officially, where he was charged and convicted of his quote unquote first offense. But he had been doing it to girls, including myself, multiple years before. And when it was found out after it happened to me, my dad did not respond correctly. The church and I was so embarrassed that I didn't want to go to the police.

[00:04:17] That's why it took another 10 years on top of it for someone else to actually have to go to the police. And so we walked into the church one day to express. My mom wanted to express concern that I had been groomed by this pastor. And the past, the main pastor stopped us before we ever stopped. We sat down in his office and said, I know what's happened. He's confessed. We believe she seduced him. Oh my goodness. I was there and he was a grown man.

[00:04:44] And in the nineties, of course, there was no only crazy people got on Prozac. Only people had who was super trouble got therapy and grooming was not a term used very rarely or very often. And so I didn't get the help that I needed. And I just stuffed it all down, which turned into an eight year battle with bulimia and started a drug addiction that became very serious to the point where I was doing an almost daily heroin addiction.

[00:05:11] And one day I walked into the church and even though my pain and my suffering had happened in the church, God redeemed me. And I absolutely have never been the same. And so everything out of that moment is the reason why I do what I do today. Yeah, your story is just, it's amazing in many ways, but it's horrifying as a mom.

[00:05:37] And my kids go to church and it's just horrifying to think that of all places it occurred at the church. So how do you come through something like that, A, and even get past the addiction, the bulimia? There's just so many hurdles in this story. And then not have a grudge against God or, I mean, how do you get past that? How do you reconcile all of this abuse with loving God at the same time? Yeah.

[00:06:06] Well, the one thing that I've realized is God is always good. He has, there is no evil. There are no shadows in him. And I luckily from the very moment that it happened, knew it was not, it was a broken person. We live in a broken world. There are broken people and we have free choice as a blessing so that we can serve God, not as robots, not as forced. Right. But as an option. And there are some people who do not choose that option.

[00:06:36] And I have to know that God is always good and he beauty out of ashes. And he definitely made beauty out of my ashes. And as I've gone through, and of course now I'm 45 and I've gone through so many trials and tribulations since then that have just proven over and over. Like some really awful trials and tribulations. The one that I went through when I was a kid was definitely awful, but I've gone through things that I'm like, dude, I'd go back and have to deal with that over and over again because life is hard.

[00:07:04] And, but I always know that God is so, so faithful and he has lifted me up and he has redeemed me from the pit. And I just want to make sure that people that are in a dark, dark place know that their tomorrow's a new day. You never know what you have to offer the next person that's hurting. And so I honestly, it's really just grace because I didn't redeem myself.

[00:07:29] I didn't suddenly miraculously get saved and have no repercussions from my heroin addiction, which I didn't realize was actually a miracle in itself until just recently as I've been pursuing the pageant world. Because an officer came up to me and he said, that just doesn't happen. And I, I kind of put two and two together and I was like, wait, I took it for granted. Like I didn't even think about it because it was the healing and the grace was so immediate.

[00:07:53] And all I remember saying is like, well, when you were given the real thing, the counterfeit doesn't compare. Like, why would I take fake money when real money is given to me? But I didn't have any physical repercussions of that. And I don't know why maybe got that. She's dealt with enough, but I did have to deal with the aftermath, the emotional aftermath. But I did have to deal with the eating disorder directly because when I was doing drugs, the present and had gotten very serious.

[00:08:21] But then when I started doing the harder and harder drugs I did, the less and less the eating disorder became the crutch. And so when I took away the main crutch, the emotional, like anytime I was stressed or anything like that, the eating disorder would just come back with a vengeance, even though I was safe. And so I went into eating disorder therapy. I went into sex therapy. I went into regular therapy and got the help that I needed when I was 13, but I didn't get it until I was 19. Okay. Yeah.

[00:08:45] I was wondering if you had extensive therapy or because I'm thinking a lot of people get trapped in an eating disorder or an addiction, just one single thing and they can't get out. So to have all of these different things, it's good to know that you did receive the help that you needed. Yeah. Yeah. And it's an onion of help.

[00:09:06] I mean, I'm still in a recovery group right now that I'm dealing with things that are the more, even more the root of what are some things that even led me to be susceptible to abuse and grooming. And I mean, for the most part, I'm not saying that it all was my fault. Oh no. But there's, there was a place where my father wasn't available. I had some father wounds there that allowed somebody that was abusive to even have a foothold in my life. And so dealing with those have been an ongoing battle.

[00:09:36] It's not a one and done type of thing when you go through something big like that, but definitely I'm a huge fan of, I don't care what kind of therapy. You need therapy. You need antidepressants. Whatever you need, you go get that you need. Like you just need to get healed. And God's not scared of whatever you need to do to get healed. So can I ask how you reconcile? And like, you're a mom of a rather large family, right? How do you reconcile everything you've been through and not being too overprotective?

[00:10:05] I mean, I think we're all over, we all love our kids. We're all protective. And my kids say I'm overprotective, whatever. But how do you not, I mean, going through everything you've been through, I would want to seal my kids in the house and never let them out. So how do you handle that? Initiation by fire. And I made some awful mistakes as a first time mom with, I have five daughters and two sons. And yeah, I was petrified.

[00:10:29] And then we had actually a family friend abuse somebody very, very close, like very close to us. And like one of our children abused. And luckily they had escaped that. And that was horrifying. And so number one thing, don't let your kids spend the night out. We let them now, like when they're 16 and above, we'll let them kind of start doing that. But when they're little, don't let them. They don't know. And there's just so many bad situations that happen.

[00:10:56] It's something that EMS workers and nurses and everybody says, just don't let your kids spend the night out. There's just no reason, nothing good. I will go pick up my kid at two in the morning if need be, if they want to go out and where there's a sleepover. And I'll just pick them up because it's worth it to me. But I did make a lot of mistakes. Right. And my older daughters can definitely attest to that. Just being really scared of men in general, giving them a negative viewpoint of that there are men out there that are really, that do love children in a healthy way.

[00:11:24] And then how to spot the ones that are maybe not healthy. But I mean, I made mistakes across the board for sure. And then just learning and growing myself, getting more healed. I think the biggest thing is me getting enough therapy that I'm healed that I can parent out of healing instead of out of fear and hurt. How do you know when you're healed? Like you just said, it's kind of an ongoing process. So how do you make that distinction? I don't know if you do.

[00:11:49] I mean, I have adult children and I can tell you that there's places that I'm like, you know, that we're working through now that I'm like, oh, I actually am really not healed in that area. So I don't think healing is ever done. And in fact, in the recovery group, I mean, it's called Regeneration, similar to Celebrate Recovery, which is also like a 12-step program. And you go through it and admit you're powerless and you have to do amends, all these things.

[00:12:11] And the first couple sessions, because I'm always in some sort of recovery therapy, trying to be the best self that I can be. And I know the best self I can be is somebody that is healed. And I'm listening and there's a woman in her 80s talking about her life after her husband has passed. And suddenly she finds herself alone. And when you're alone and you're in isolation and you want comfort and touched, you can fall into certain sins.

[00:12:41] And I'm looking at it and I'm thinking, woman's 80 years old. Like I'm looking at my future. This is somebody that used to be a missionary. What do you mean we don't just graduate forever and ever from sin? Oh, wow. And I was just like, it really, like a light bulb just went off in my head. And I was like, why am I rushing so hard to get done with healing? Because I'm never going to be done with healing. Healing is a constant, never-ending battle.

[00:13:09] You're constantly having to realize this place is broken. This new place just got broke. And now I'm having to deal with that part. And it's until the day of redemption that we really are. That's the day that we are healed. And just keep on keeping on. And don't berate yourself for not being healed. Don't be, like I always say, God is not scared of you messing up, of you not being healed. Just keep on going. I have this one story that kind of is coming up in my head.

[00:13:37] My daughter was sweeping the stairs. I was yelling at her from the kitchen because I was trying to cook macaroni and cheese. And I'm like, hey, just sweep the stairs. And she's crying and crying and crying. And she's like, I can't do it. I can't do it. And I'm like, it's not that hard. A broom is a lot lighter. That's why we sweep the stairs. You could use a vacuum. But they were little. And so a broom is a lot easier. And I'm just like trying to explain it to her how to do it, how to do it. And finally, I'm like, just fine. And I'll go do it. And so I went over there. And I'm looking at the stairs. And it is perfection.

[00:14:05] Like she has swept it to perfection as much as a 12-year-old can sweep it to perfection. But she had so much doubt and fear that I was going to judge her and be angry with her performance that she couldn't even complete the task. And I think that is a lesson in the fact that when we do things in fear and doubt and we are like in our head too much, we forget that we're doing a good enough job.

[00:14:32] And God, he makes all the valleys flat and he brings down all the mountains, which means that any deficit we have, he fills up. And anything that's prideful or too much that we have, he brings back down. And he's our front and our rear guard. We don't have to do this all perfectly. We just got to keep on going. Keep trying. Yeah, for sure. I'm just thinking that many of us have gone through far less. And yet we still let, I don't know what you call it, but that little voice in our head that's so negative and is always yapping away.

[00:15:02] So I'm just wondering, because even though you're healing and I know we're all in progress, but how do you not like go backwards? Yeah, my antidepressant medicines help. So there's that. Because it is a struggle. It is a constant, constant struggle. But it shouldn't be debilitating. And if it is, maybe think about, I mean, you can take ashwagandha, you can take Sammy, you can take San John's. I also take a ton of vitamins and stuff like that. I mean, so you want to make sure that, because everybody knows our food source is depleted of vitamins.

[00:15:32] We're not getting enough sunshine. There's all the things that really, I will suddenly, like, everything in my world is bad and everybody else has it better. And I can go down the pit. So recognize your triggers. Making sure you're feeding yourself enough. You're working out and doing all the things that keep your mental ability to go to levels of height instead of down below. But making sure you're watching things that are uplifting. As I get older and older, I watch less and less.

[00:16:02] I consume less and less information that's negative. I used to be really into politics. I try to just kind of stay out of it, because the only message I want to preach is King Jesus. So, you know, at the end of the day, I just try to put all the positivity that I can in my head. I learn more about how to think thoughts that are aligned with how God thinks of me. He thinks good thoughts towards me. Actually, it's funny, because I was reading the verse this morning in my recovery book, and it always says,

[00:16:30] Take my yoke upon you, my burden easy, my yoke is light. But he talks about, in the verse after that, about how the yoke of God is him doing a lot of the pulling, and you just kind of receiving. So when you align yourself with what God thinks about you, and you really just push out all those things that you think about, because you cast down all things that exalt themselves against the knowledge of God.

[00:16:59] And the knowledge of God says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, that you're above and not beneath, that you're a royal priesthood, and that he wants you to succeed. And you're made in the image of God, which means you are successful. You have enough. You have grace. You have kindness. And anything else is a lie. Even if your reality says that what you think of your reality is like, oh, I really messed up. I really yelled at my kid too much. I'm like an awful mom. But you're not an awful mom.

[00:17:26] You're a mom that made a mistake, and that mistake can be amended, and then you just go for it. And then you just forget. You forget, like Paul said, forget what is behind and press forward towards the goal. And I think that's what it is. When you find yourself depressed, and I've heard this because we have children that deal with anxiety, depression is when you're thinking too much about the past. Anxiety is when you're thinking too much about the future. But God says, I am, I am. That means I am right now in the present. He lives in the present moment.

[00:17:56] He lives in the past and the future, right? But we don't. I am that I am. And so if we, the more we can be present and just be like, you know what? I'm just going to keep on going. I'm going to keep on doing. And put those things. But yeah, I look, and sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm like, you're the one. You're the one that's called. And so just like a good soldier, if I'm called to this war, to fight this battle, I don't have time to worry about the battle yesterday. There's a battle in front of me today. And I just got to keep pushing it.

[00:18:26] So how much time do you spend in the war each day, if you don't mind me asking? I mean, do you devote amount of time each day or do you just wing it? It depends. It depends on the season. So, I mean, I am constantly in prayer. I have my Bible study. I'm always listening to, I love Tony Evans. That's one of my favorites. And you build up and you're building up all the time, the things that you've previously laid.

[00:18:51] And so at that point, you're just making sure that you're continuing to maintain the efforts you have. So yeah, I mean, there's sometimes I can spend two hours in the Bible. Do I do? No, I definitely don't. But I'm making sure to put things in all the time that are what God wants me to think about. So I should probably, just like anybody, spend more time reading the word of God. Oh, I was just curious. Yeah, no. No, no. It's a great question. No pressure. Yeah, I was just curious.

[00:19:20] I know I need to spend more time each day. I need to devote time each day, which is so hard to do because you work full time. You have kids, you do that. And you're doing all kinds of stuff. So I was just curious if you had to pencil it in or if you can even do that with your schedule. So yeah, no, I didn't mean that to be like. No, no, no, no, no. I think it's a great question.

[00:19:45] And honestly, one of the things that I love doing is talking because it makes me, even whether even if it's my kids, like reminding them of the word of God. Because it also reminds me at the same time. And recently I've been really into the promises of God. And I mean, like the promises of God that promise you big things. I was listening to, I think it was Tony Evans. And he was telling a story about this little old lady who would not believe that it was going to rain at their big revival tent.

[00:20:14] And all the pastors were like, no, no, no, no. It's going to forecast us. It's going to rain. And they're like, we're going to pray about it. And all the pastors are like, Lord, if it be your will, don't let it rain. Don't let it rain. And she gets up there and she's like, Lord, your word says that if we ask this, don't embarrass yourself by making it rain. And like they're all standing back like this lady is going to be like struck by lightning. I cannot believe she's commanding God. But also she was reminding God of the promises.

[00:20:42] And then eventually, and they actually had the revival started kind of sprinkling. And the man kind of tries to put an umbrella over the lid and she like pushes it away. And then lo and behold, the rain literally goes like this around their tent and around. I don't know. I think it was open. Went around. They literally saw a wall of rain. And he was like, because there's one lady that was bold enough to remind herself and God of the promises that he has. And so speaking those out, I think it's probably one of the biggest things that I do now, especially as a speaker.

[00:21:12] And I'm making sure, of course, that I bring it back in. But I experienced that recently. I was really angry. We have a pop-up camp right now. It had been leaking. And I was like, so I'm pulling back all this stuff and I'm angry and I'm beating. I'm angry. And I could see the rain in the distance. And I remember this story. And I said, Lord, you said if I had faith of a mustard seed that you would move mountains. And I said, you're either a true God or you're a liar.

[00:21:40] I said, rain in Jesus' name, don't you dare come over here. I am trying to fix something that's already messed up by you. And I start feeling these little drops. And I literally was like, Lord, you either are God or you are a liar. Wow. And you need to prove. And like suddenly the rain stopped. And so I was just like, I felt guilty to be that bold. But I was like, and then I said, and then I got angry. I was like, Lord, why did you make me do that? Why do I need to remind you what you said?

[00:22:07] And he's whispered to my heart, you didn't remind me. You needed reminding. And you speaking out loud reminded you of what I said. I want you to take authority and power and bring it back to where it belongs, which is in your grasp. It is available to you. That's amazing. I've heard a lot lately. I don't know who said it either, but they were talking about Jesus never begged, never asked. He commanded. And so, I mean, that's right in alignment with what you're saying. Yeah.

[00:22:36] It feels weird to me. It feels weird. It doesn't feel very feminine to command the God of heaven and earth. But I don't think he's scared of us. No, I don't mean. I think when you go towards him in lowly in spirit and you say, I'm commanding this because you told me to command it. Exactly. He gave us authority through him. And it's just claiming that authority, I think. That's the way I view it anyway. I mean, it's something he's allowed. Yeah. We just have to step into it.

[00:23:06] But it is hard, especially there's a whole epidemic of unworthiness or whatever. So I think a lot of us struggle with that even. So I commend you for being bold enough to do that. I don't know if I could. But that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. I try it and always ask for forgiveness if it's later, I guess. Well, and that's probably how some people see miracles and others don't. Truthfully. Yeah.

[00:23:33] But so I know just transitioning a little bit. I know you talk about it's OK for women to share their stories, but you want them to have a wisdom and a strategy around sharing their stories. Can you tell us what you mean by that? Like, is it like sharing your story after you feel like you've been mostly healed? Is that what you're coming from? Yeah. And there's never there's always a spirit. The spirit of God leads you, right? Right.

[00:24:01] There's a way to share your story where you're not causing more trouble than necessary. You're not triggering other people. No one needs to know the details, the nitty gritty details of what happened to me. They just need to know that it happened and that what have I done as a positive outcome of that, even though it was really negative.

[00:24:21] And when I'm a pageant coach, a media coach, really, for pageant women to share their stories and I help them take their stories from that raw, gritty, maybe not so much the things that they would like to say because there's people they're trying to protect, people they love that just were broken and hurt them. And, you know, maybe they've repented or anything like that. And they're not looking to drag their somebody else's name through the mud. And so there's a way to share a story in a way that is uplifting and encouraging while not disparaging people that may have hurt you in the past.

[00:24:52] And so I do that. But I do always tell them, you want to preach or talk out of your scars, not your scavs. And so there is places where you are never if you get a scar on your arm and it's big enough, you're always going to see the evidence of that trauma. You're not going to it's never going to be smooth skin again. So you don't need to wait until it's smooth skin to tell your story.

[00:25:18] But you don't want to tell your story when it's lifting up and it could be potentially opened up again. And so there's just a wisdom and knowing when to share your story. And and there's always going to be a place where somebody is going to maybe say something about your story or say something about you or your journey. And it's going to be the wrong way, just like you can hurt a scar and you can hurt a scab.

[00:25:40] But you want it to be healed enough that there it's not like suddenly you're in an open forum and you're bleeding all over everybody emotionally, verbally. And so I know that one of the things that I recognize in my own life is I wanted to share my story from the get go. As soon as I got saved, I had I already was kind of aimed towards the media and I was like, I just want to share my story. And so I kept trying and trying. And I did in some ways like I was very successful in a lot of ways, wrote books and had a blog and did things.

[00:26:09] But one of the things I realized is God kind of helped me, protected me by hiding me a little bit. And I heard a voice tell me or like wisdom tell me, like, aren't you glad you didn't? You weren't on stage during some of those parts of your life that really you just needed healing. And so I think sometimes we want to jump on stage. We want to share our story. For me, I'm like, I want to just be famous. I want to be Billy Graham. I want to have a stage where I'm converting people to Christ.

[00:26:38] But you want to make sure that your character and who you are and all the parts of you that are broken can handle the pressure of that. Because if not, you're going to break on stage where all the world can see. And you don't want that to happen. You want to be able to maintain the unity that you that God wants for you, that you deserve. Because sometimes people are forced out into the media and the public and they're not ready for it. And they crumble and they fall into addictions or pornography or adultery.

[00:27:05] And that's that's not the testimony that I want to leave a legacy of. So you're talking way beyond just being emotional, right? Because I know like I can't even tell good stories without being happy stories, I should say, without getting emotional many times, let alone the bad ones. Yeah. So no, I don't think there's anything wrong with you if you share your story and suddenly you feel choked up or something like that.

[00:27:30] I'm not I don't think you should be benign to your story for sure, but you want to make sure that most of it is healed enough that you can share it openly. And there are parts of your story that there's parts of my story. I'm not ready to share yet. They're too raw. They deal with people that are still alive and I'm not ready to share that. Right. So maybe in the future I will. But today is not that day. And I can tell I can still tell most of my story without involving those parts. Right. Absolutely.

[00:27:59] And I get the part of, you know, we all make mistakes and we're all traveling through this life as best we can. And like you said, you don't want to shred someone else's life because they made mistakes, even though it may or may not have traumatized you. You know what I'm saying? So I get that fully. Yeah. It's a delicate balance of things. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

[00:28:22] I know we've talked about there's a difference between telling your story when you feel like you're mostly healed versus telling it as you're still wounded. Do you think like if we're still in the depths of things that that's when we are more likely to trigger other people? Yeah, I think it's not that you shouldn't share your story. I think it's the more unhealed you are, the smaller your circle should be when you share your story.

[00:28:50] Because you and you need the people that can support you and can handle the details of your story. And only you will know when you're ready to share certain details. I mean, there are certain details of my abuse that I literally realized. I told my husband about a year ago, more details of what happened. And then there were things that I've shared more recently with a friend that I was like, I have never like literally these words have never crossed my lips.

[00:29:16] They bumbled around in my head for the last 35 years, but I've never said them out loud. And I guess I was just ready to get free of those particular emotions. And I think some people can handle it. And you can always just like social media, they say trigger warning. And then some people can't. And you have to figure out who those people are. And the more and more healed you get, the more that you share your story, the more comfortable you get in your own self, the bigger your circle can get and the bigger your circle can get.

[00:29:43] And then also at some point you have to realize not everybody's going to be okay with your story because it's going to trigger something in them. And that's not necessarily a bad thing as long as you're telling it with thoughtfulness and understanding that you're not trying to, we're not trying to share the dirty, all the dirty secrets. But not everybody's going to accept you. And not everybody accepted Jesus and that's okay. Right. And there's, and I think you can also come against opposition with the people involved in the story, right?

[00:30:10] Because there's a lot of people that are stuck in denial that things have happened or they don't want to admit it for whatever reason. So you've got to be prepared for that resistance too, I think, if you go forward and tell your story. Yeah. And then as a mom, I've had to realize there are parts of my story I don't share because they're not my stories to share. I can share how parts of the things that happen between me and my children made me feel as a mom.

[00:30:37] But I can't reveal certain details about my life or things that I've gone through because it exposes my minor children. And that's just kind of recognizing what parts of my story are mine to share and then how to share my story or the parts of my story that aren't mine to share where it affected me without hurting people that are totally, completely innocent.

[00:31:01] And so that's been, that's a new journey that I'm going through because especially in this social media world where all the moms are sharing their kids and showing their kids faces and they're inside their houses. I mean, everything's online, right? And realizing, wait, like, are we protecting the people that we are first and foremost called to protect, which is our children. And so I carry that torch very, very carefully because my children deserve that.

[00:31:27] And that's something I've had to learn because as somebody that's been in the media for a long time, it's very tempting because you're like, oh, this will help other people or this will go viral or somehow benefit other me or other people. And realizing, well, it's no benefit to anybody if it's hurting people you love the most. Absolutely. Have you ever, as far as your own story is concerned, have you ever shared something that you've regretted sharing or do you feel like you've timed it rather well?

[00:31:54] Oh, I mean, absolutely. I'm a chronic overshare and mostly for people like in my, not necessarily online, just people. Your circle. When you're in a group of people and you're like, oh, maybe that was a little too far. But yeah, I mean, I've shared things about my own family experience growing up that I was like, oh, I really wouldn't want that to be like mainstream knowledge. But it's a growing process.

[00:32:18] If I'm not willing to make mistakes while being somebody in the media, then I should not be in the media because there's nobody that's going to do this whole thing perfectly. So I'm kind of curious, do you help coach other women in a way? Because to me, you're like a queen of reinvention or transition or whatever term you want to put, because you've had so many things to overcome and change and do. So do you coach other women in this realm? Yeah. So I am a pageant coach, but it's not the pageant.

[00:32:47] So there's in pageantry, there is coaches who coach how to speak, which I do coach how to speak. But there's coaches who's how to speak in an interview setting where, you know, why should we crown you as queen? What are you going to do with the title? That kind of talking. So my coaching kind of goes beyond the crown.

[00:33:06] It is preparing somebody that is a powerful, high achieving woman who has chosen pageantry as her mode of transportation to visibility and making sure that when she leaves the pageant world or if she when she, you know, puts her crown down, that she has something else to build upon.

[00:33:25] And so that means that I make sure that they're ready to be on podcasts and how to speak on podcasts, how to pursue the media so that the media pays attention, how to get on stages, how to write books, how to get those books published and online, and how to make sure that they have a team so that they can do book launches. I show them how to post on social media so they're growing their social media so their sphere of influence can increase.

[00:33:49] And I also tell them how to, in the queen world, how to land sponsors and how to interact with small businesses in their community. So they're building up not themselves, not just themselves, but the people around them. That's pretty amazing. The whole reinvention thing and trying to get help women. I just, I feel like you have the capacity to help so many women, like you said, beyond the crown, not just pageant women, but there's everyday women.

[00:34:16] Like even in my own life, I work in a extremely male dominated field. It's all men and me. And you talk about feeling invisible. They make you feel invisible because you say something, it's like no one heard it. The guy beside you repeats it. He's a genius. And you just can't even believe the stuff that goes on. So when you talked about a woman's path to visibility through the crown, I think we all have a need to feel seen and heard, I should say.

[00:34:45] As you move on through life, you might want to expand to even helping. And I know you do help other women too. I'm not saying you don't. Yeah, no, I do. So that's my actual goal is to build a female-centric speakers bureau and media corporation agency that helps women get more visibility in general. I've just niched down to the pageant world because these are women that are already prepared for visibility. I don't have to hold their hand and do all the things. They're already doing a lot of the legwork for me.

[00:35:14] But eventually, yeah, I would love to do – I actually just secured a couple different Instagram handles for that reason because I really do believe that there's something higher that I'm called to. And I don't want to just – like the way that I talk now in the pageant world, it's very pageant-oriented. It's very much sponsored or media-oriented. It doesn't have as much the element of faith that I would like to have in it because my goal is, again, like I said, to be Billy Graham, to be Priscilla Shire, to be Joyce.

[00:35:44] It's probably – Absolutely, yeah. I want to speak to women on a level where you're like, I'm not dealing with like this – yes, it can affect the real parts of your life that are tangible, but the ones that are really – that made me cry in the shower that I had to find out on my own because there was nobody else talking about it. I don't know when the world is ready for me because I always feel like I'm too Christian for the heathen and too heathen for the Christian. And a lot of people don't understand the pageant journey. They think it's vain.

[00:36:14] They think it's fruitless. And they might look at me and be like, oh, all she cares is about makeup, Botox, which I love. I will 100% stand behind all the things. And I've become secure in that, which is – because I think before I would have shied away, I would have hidden those parts of me. But I'm big. I'm bold. I'm loud. I cuss too much. And I do all the things. And it's like, I don't know. I don't know if the world is ready for me or not, but I'm coming one way or another.

[00:36:39] But eventually I just want to – I want people to feel comfortable with being exactly who they are today, knowing that's not where they're going to stay. And they're going to be somebody else more holy, more aligned with who God has created them to me. And maybe one day I won't cuss. But today I do. And so it's like – and I'm willing to be on that journey with them and not be ashamed. And naysayers who are telling me, oh, God, you're walking on stage in a bathing suit. How dare you? Don't you know that's not modest? And I'm like, you know what?

[00:37:08] God's idea of modesty was naked in the garden. It was like we really messed it up there. And so realizing that just because somebody has a certain worldview – and I'm not saying I walk around H-E-B in a grocery store. I don't have H-E-B. I don't know where y'all are at, but I'm in Texas. We have H-E-B. H-E-B and some hot pants. But I'm just saying that like I'm not scared of being out there, who I am today, how I look, what I say, what I act like. Well, you know what? Tomorrow I'm not doing that.

[00:37:37] Like yesterday I wore some really short shorts to my kid's school. And I was like – I looked in the mirror when I went to Ross and I was like, those shorts are kind of – my booty's got to hang out there. Maybe I won't. Maybe those shorts need to be retired. But I'm not going to sit there and go, oh, God. I mean, just such an awful person. I'm so immodest. It's like you live, you learn. Like what am I going to do? I can't take it back. And those people at the school my kids go to already judge me. I don't care. They are my audience.

[00:38:05] And my audience and the people that really, really resonate me and realize that my heart is pure and focused towards the Lord. And I don't need somebody else telling me that my shorts are too short. Believe me, the Lord will tell me. He'll tell me. He's real good. And he'll tell me in a way that makes me go, yeah, you're right. You know? Instead of – because I had someone text me the other day something and I was like, girl, you don't even know me. I'm not even your friend. What are you texting me about this for?

[00:38:33] You got to earn that right to tell me that I'm doing something wrong. I think God gave you the gift of beauty for sure. So I think any woman or man that had the gift of being extremely attractive should enjoy it. You know what I mean? In a great, wholesome way. And so there's nothing wrong with that. I think if I had the body, who knows? I might wear something I shouldn't. But I don't. So I'm safe. Well, and it doesn't help that Texas is like 120 degrees half the time too.

[00:39:01] And everybody else is dressed like we're all at the pool in every single place we go. I am curious as we're talking though, like since you've overcome so many things, do you kind of see – now do you see patterns in people or clues that they've come through some kind of trauma? I just wonder if you recognize it in other people since you've overcome so much in the pattern world or wherever. I mean you can always tell if somebody's broken because they – broke people do broke things. They just – broken people do broke things. Yeah.

[00:39:30] And you can tell somebody that it's healed because healed people heal people. And so in that regard, yes. But I think that we disregard people that have gone through maybe lesser traumas thinking, oh, what I went through versus what they went through is not as big of a deal. But in the world of sexual abuse, there is like grooming versus being thrown down on the floor and ripped clothes off and raped are – still have the same impact.

[00:39:58] I mean they have done studies that, you know, it doesn't matter how it happened, whether it was – grooming sometimes feels consensual. Like you asked for it or you didn't mind it happening because the person that was in a power of a situation of authority over you convinced you that this was good. And you can't control your body response or anything like that. And so you can go, oh, I wasn't forcibly raped. And so it's not that big of a deal. But they have shown that that is absolutely not true.

[00:40:29] So somebody – like I could look at my children like, oh, they had for the most part a really sheltered life. But what I'm finding is that their trauma, even though it doesn't shout, you know, like abuse or anything like that, it's very real to them. We all experience pain at 100%. And just like a woman gives birth, like some women, birth doesn't hurt them for some reason. And then some people are rolling around on the ground at one centimeter dilated. But pain is pain.

[00:40:58] And you experience it at 100%. Right. Yeah. And you can't really – you couldn't even compare, right? You can't be like, well, my birth hurt more than your birth. Like how would you know? Exactly. Because how do you know? Yeah. And that's what I was going to say. All we know is our own lives and our own perception of what happened. So yeah, it's hard to compare. Yeah. I mean, you compare against yourself because I know that my first birth, I was crawling on the floor at three centimeters. Like, oh, this is the worst thing ever.

[00:41:28] My seventh baby, I walked into the hospital in the middle of the hallway, pulled down my pants, had a baby. And an hour later, I walked out of the hospital. Pain is relative too. So the more pain you experience, the lesser pain doesn't seem as big of a deal anymore. But when it was happening then, at three centimeters at my first baby, that was really real. And it probably hurt more. That probably hurt more than actually my seventh baby. So, wow. I can't even imagine having seven.

[00:41:58] So kudos to you. Yeah. Well, neither could the nurses. They were throwing gloves around like, oh my gosh, this has to be sterile. And I was like, I don't care to get this baby out. This baby's coming right now. Wow. I didn't want to sign all their papers. That's part of the reason I did that.

[00:42:19] So as we start to wrap up, I was just wondering, what do you want to make sure the listeners hear today as far as what you're currently doing, what you're currently involved in? Yeah. So right now, it's just me trying to get my message of hope out there more. And so I'm doing my pageantpreneur stuff. I'm trying to get more clients. I'm trying to get more visibility, help my clients get more visibility and grow that and make money. All the things, right? That's what I'm trying to do.

[00:42:47] But I recently have been scrolling Facebook and stopping. And it's kind of changed what I've thought about social media. Because I live in a social media world. We're using TikTok trends and audio and stuff like that. And you have to be really, it has to look good. And the lighting has to be good. And that gets used. That's great. Yeah. And that's still true. But then there's these farmers out sitting out on their tractor talking about Jesus. And in social media, it's like, oh, it's 30 seconds, eight seconds. The shorter, the better. But they're sitting there and they're giving their testimony.

[00:43:17] And it's not well lit. They're not using microphones. They don't even care. And it's eight, 10 minutes. Now, I do hold it down. So I wish it was triple speed. But like, I'm listening to the whole thing because I'm invested. And so I, and I'm very open. And I share my story all the time, but I decided the other day to sit down and share my story about just real quick and how I came to Jesus and what happened to me. And it was hard. It was really, I didn't expect it to be so hard.

[00:43:46] I think I was judging myself because I was like, oh, Elaine, you're just trying to do this to go viral. You just want to be like, you saw those views. And my head is telling me, like, you just want fame and notoriety. And like, it took a lot for me to get past that fear or that, that judgment, that self-judgment that was saying, you just want this for yourself and go, no, no, no, I actually don't. Like, I have not done all of this. Yes. I have a selfish desire. I want to be famous. I want to be wealthy. I want all the things. I want pats on the back. I mean, who doesn't? Right.

[00:44:27] I'm like crying. I'm like, Lord, why is this so hard? Like, I talk on camera all the time. Why is this story that I've told a hundred times so hard to share? And it was because I was sharing it in a way that was just plain. It didn't have trending audio behind it. It didn't have a hook. It didn't have a, you know what I mean? It didn't have all the things that I view as marketing expertise attached to it. And I was just raw me.

[00:44:55] And that, as soon as I posted, I was like, oh, it's not going to get any views. It's not going to get any views. And I'm like, yeah, no, it's getting viewed. It's getting seen. It's getting common. And I'm just like, okay, I can show up a little less fancy, a little less marketing expertise smart. I can just show up as me and just share my story simple and just allow, I think this is the biggest thing. Allow the Holy spirit to do my, his marketing instead of me having to figure out,

[00:45:25] dot all the T's and cross all the I's to do, to get it to go viral so that more people can hear it. Let him do the heavy listing. Yeah. And I think he will. And I think a lot of people are going to relate to you on that vulnerable level, that vulnerability, even more so than the perfect pageant queen, right? Because none of us are perfect, but, and I didn't mean that in a negative way, but I just think. No, I know. Yeah. We're just normal people.

[00:45:54] And so when they can view you as a beautiful, but normal person, they're going to relate even more. I think. Yeah. That's the hope. That's the hope. Now I did have my makeup on and I think it's better. I think it's better. I've made videos where I don't have makeup on and they're definitely not. They don't do as well. It's a nice balance. Well, that's probably all the men clicking on it. Oh God. I hope not. So is there anything you want to tell us about?

[00:46:23] I know you have, you're an entrepreneur as well about your business or anything before we wrap up today, anything else or how to connect to you. If people are listening and they're like, I love Elaine, I want to follow her or whatever. How do they find you? Sure. I think I just want to leave with a couple of different things that I say all the time or quote, because they're not from me. Maya Angelou says there's no greater agony than a story that's left untold inside of you. And I'm paraphrasing.

[00:46:50] I probably botched that, but basically just share your story, whatever it is. It's so important. I don't care if it's to the person on the bench at the park. I have been so affected by simple stories that are, that touched me right at the right time. Right. Could be just that, Hey, mama, like it's okay. Your baby's crying. My baby cried too. And this is what I did. And then you, and you affect them and you help them right in the moment, right in their time of need. I think any story, no story is too small. And then also that your purpose never changes, but your strategy does.

[00:47:20] God has written on your heart, the purpose that you were called to do. And it might look different and different seasons. Sometimes me sharing my story, bringing light to the darkness and setting the captive street is taking a phone call from my 22 year old daughter and lifting her out of the pit of whatever crisis she's in. And sometimes it's being on a podcast and sometimes it's me just sitting there and volunteering at my kid's school and moving furniture around.

[00:47:49] My purpose doesn't change, but sometimes it doesn't always look like. You think it should look. What would you say to people who don't, aren't sure what their purpose is? Is there a way to try to figure out what your purpose is? Do you think? Yeah. And it's a big question because as a Christian, when you become saved, you are a dead man walking. Your goal, like as Christ told us, is to go into all the world and to share the message

[00:48:17] that the kingdom of God has come and the way to eternal life is through Jesus Christ. And there is no other way except through him. So that is number one, our purpose. And number two is sharing your story because the Bible says that we overcome by the blood of the lamb, which is already done for us and by the word of our testimony. So the way that we bring people to Jesus is by sharing our life. And that doesn't have to be words. That could be in painting.

[00:48:46] It could be in digital arts. It could be in poetry. It could be in coding, whatever it is, and doing what you love to do. I truly, truly believe that similar to like, what is it? Christian hedonism that trying to think of a guy who says that John somebody on something like that. Real big preach. He talks about we are most satisfied. God is most glorified in us when we're most satisfied in him and doing the thing that brings us the most joy, right?

[00:49:14] That we go, this is who I was always as a kid. When I was a kid, I was a storyteller. I wanted to be a writer. I read lots of books, right? I always want to do that. And then not limiting that passion, right? It could be modeling. I mean, there's models for Christ. And you think, and not putting your own judgment on yourself. I think we judge ourself for liking what we like. And it's like, if you like putting false lashes on, more power to you. If you like pink, great. If you love black and you want to wear black lipstick, I don't care, right?

[00:49:44] If you don't like to wear makeup at all, don't wear makeup, right? But do what you love most as long as it's not specifically outlined in the Bible to not do it. Just go for it, right? We are all literally kids in a sandbox. We are playing. We are messy. And God is so, so pleased when we are there creating being. And there's not a time that I've heard the voice of the Lord that I've been like, not good. I'm good. I'm going to do my own thing. I mean, for the most part, sometimes I do.

[00:50:11] But for the most part, like God is going to stop you if you're too close to the edge. And trusting that you don't have to be your constantly on hypervigilance. Play. You can get dirty a little bit. I love that. It's beautiful. Thank you. Well, I appreciate you being with us today. And did you tell us what, how they can connect to you on social media? I don't think you did yet. Yeah, the best place is pageant printer, which is a pageant and then printer, like entrepreneur mixed together. Or if you want to search my name up, Elaine Mingus, it's Elaine.

[00:50:40] I think right now it's Elaine.e.mingus, which is my middle name, my middle initial in there and follow me there. And you can always DM me. I think that's the biggest, that's the best place to find me. Awesome. Well, thank you so much. I've truly enjoyed listening to you and talking to you. And I just appreciate your sharing your wisdom with us and your love for Jesus. Well, thank you so much. It's been awesome. Thank you. Yeah. Well, anytime. And I just wish you the best of luck and I appreciate you inviting me on your show. Absolutely. And I'll probably end it right there, but I do appreciate it. It's been great.

[00:51:10] And I love seeing the passion that you have for Christ. It is beautiful. Well, thank you. I'm hoping that it just keeps on, my opportunities keep on growing and I keep getting out there. Right now I'm kind of, I'm in my recovery group right now. And it's just talking about my desire, like kind of working through that place when you're

[00:51:34] called to a place of visibility of making sure that you want God and Christ more than the stage and the microphone and the visibility and putting your trust in him and not money or any other provision or likes or anything else we look at. Because David, he was told not to count his men and he punished him for that. Now, obviously that's Old Testament, but not putting my trust in numbers.

[00:52:02] And that's what was hard about sharing my testimony the other day is I kept thinking, you know, this isn't going to do well. And then I'm going to see 300 views and no comments. And I'm going to feel bad because I'm going to archive it because it's embarrassing. No one watched it. And realizing like my job is to share my story. His job is the outcome and the visibility of that and trusting him in that, even if it were to only have gotten 300 views.

[00:52:31] And that's hard because those numbers and those, even though people say, oh, don't look at the numbers. And you're like, okay, yeah, yeah. But it's kind of hard. It's like right there. It's like there to tempt you, right? To tell you how good you're doing. It's your little social rating. But what if you won hearts to Jesus out of that 300? Yeah. What if you converted 150 people? Isn't that worth more than a thousand views that converted no one? You know what I mean? So yeah, no. And I know that in my head, but in your heart, you're like that.

[00:53:00] But so I have actually a story and you can share this part. Okay. I mean, you can share all of this on the podcast, but one of my favorite stories is me as I go into pageantry and I lost my first pageant. And I absolutely thought I was going to win. Everybody thinks they're going to win their first pageant. And it's called, I was calling it the first pancake of the batch. Like it ain't good. It ain't good. You don't eat it. You throw it in the trash. Maybe take a little bite. Let the dog eat it. And I was crushed. And I was, but I was like, Lord, you brought me, like you brought me this thing.

[00:53:29] I didn't even ask for pageantry. Like I just walked into a church one day, Miss Mariko was sitting there and she said, put on a crown and sash and you'll be invited into places you normally wouldn't be invited. And the next week I saw Mrs. Universe and she said, put on a crown and sash. If you have a story to tell, people start paying attention. And I said, okay, God, you obviously are trying to tell me something. I'm like over here, ex-heron, one addict, ex-rolder, be girl, vintage furniture reseller. Like I'm not somebody that's looking like I always looked like I look now, but for the most part, I wasn't like wearing false eyelashes and hair extensions and doing Botox.

[00:53:58] And I got to my fourth pageant and one of my sponsors had said, let me do a pageant. I was like, cool. I'll jump in with you. Last minute, I had just gotten third runner up on my third pageant. I'm going to this pageant with you. And so I go in, she wins her first pageant. Wow. Never done a pageant before. I get third runner up. And I'm not upset that she won because we were so tapped. We had done so many pageants. I was so broke. I was like, I cannot afford to go to national because you have to go to nationals. And that pageant particularly was really expensive.

[00:54:29] I was like, I'm not mad that I didn't win because I mean, really like we cannot. But I was, I went into the shower and I'm crying and makeup's running down. And I'm like, Lord, I'm upset because I feel like you've called me to this. And yet you've blessed somebody else. And I'm so confused. Like, is my job only to be the middleman? If that's my job, that's fine. But you need to let me know. So I am not disappointed because I see myself on big stages. I see myself winning and doing this great thing. I said, Lord, you've got to peel back the layer.

[00:54:58] Like, I got to see what you're doing. You just got to give me a hint. Please, I'm begging you, not because I care about the stupid crown, but because I want to know that I'm doing what you have called me to do. And then I'm walking in your purpose because right now I feel so, so lost. And so she's a really good friend of mine. Go to a hotel room, return something. And I open the door and she is like, I'm just like, I'm so excited. Like, so awesome. Like you won. Like, God, it's going to do great things for you.

[00:55:25] Now, mind you, she didn't, she was not following Jesus when I met her, right? We just met randomly. She wanted to take a photo of me because I was a pageant queen. And that's how she became my sponsor. And I said, I'm just so excited. Like, God is going to do such big things in your life. And she looked at me and she said, Elaine, I know that. She said, I know God is good. But did you know that you're the reason I'm following Jesus Christ today? Wow. And it hit me. God peeled back the layer. I needed to see that.

[00:55:55] I'm over here chasing worldly crowns, rhinestones, diamonds, all the things that fade, moth rust. And God is building up something way bigger than I even realized. And that story has actually, I don't normally listen to myself on podcasts anymore. Used to. I used to listen to all my, like I used to re-listen all the podcasts. Right. See how I sounded. And sometimes I still do, but not very, I'm on so many now. I don't really listen to them.

[00:56:21] But I was driving to a conference in Dallas and I was feeling really down. I was thinking, Lord, I'm building this thing. Pageantpreneur. I know you've called me to do this. Like you've just shown me over and over and over that I'm where I'm supposed to be, but we're broke and we're not making any money. Like what is going on? I swear every single time I tried to share blogging, it was like, I was, we were constantly broke. And then finally turned everything off. I went dark. I was like, I'm never sharing my story again. And they curb vulture.

[00:56:50] And we were making so much money. I mean, so much money. I was, it was stupid how much money we were making. And then the government shut down. They kept giving us money for all the kids. We were just like swimming in money and we never have as well. Like we were on Medicaid and well, food stamps and welfare. And so I'm like, okay, great. I'm just going to live here. And then he calls me back into sharing my story. And I had actually, there'd been a couple of times I felt this tap and I literally would be walking to the garage where I do my furniture and I'd put my hand over my head and he would say, share your story. And I would say, don't talk to me. I just sell vintage furniture.

[00:57:20] Leave me alone. I just sell furniture. I'm never sharing my story again. It was so stressful. I was like, hustle culture. It's all the things. I don't want to do that anymore. You've built this business. It's so easy. We make tons of money. My kids are happy. Homeschooled. Noah's home. My husband's home. Homeschooling the kids. And I kept hearing it. And then of course I saw Mrs. Miss America, Mrs. Universe. And I was like, okay, Lord, like I know you're doing something here. The moment. I mean, it's like almost like the moment I started sharing my story again, our income

[00:57:46] like just, and I finally was like, no, my husband, you got to go back to work. After 15 years, we finally decided to put the kids in charter school, which was a blessing. And God was completely in that. But I was like, Lord, I'm driving to Dallas. And I'm like, I mean, the money is not coming. Like I'm trying to do this thing. And so I re-listen to a podcast. It's just random. I never do it. Right. And I'm telling the story of my friend. And it's like, God was like, Elaine, you still haven't gotten the message.

[00:58:14] You keep looking at dollars and rhinestones and things that fill you up in this life. But I've called you to live a life where you are storing up your riches and treasures in heaven. And I'm just like, okay, I get it. I get it. But could you please pay some of my bills? Like, really? And he's just, he's been so good and gracious and taught me. It's like little by little, like wealth grows. And I'm just like, because I want the big shebang.

[00:58:43] I want the millions of people and the thousands and the dollars rolling in every single day. Because I know what that feels like with my vintage furniture. It's like, cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching. Wow. And it's like, I have an adversary. I have an adversary. He was fine if I was selling vintage furniture. But Satan is not okay with me sharing the gospel. Right. And I have an adversary. Right. But at the right time and the juicy of them, I will reap a harvest. And so I'm just hoping that one day I'll see good in the land of the living and that

[00:59:12] financially it'll all work out. But until then, got to pinch pennies. I think you're well on your way for sure. Hopefully. Hopefully. Hopefully. That's awesome. Well, thank you so much. Yeah. I love hearing your stories. And it's just been great. I appreciate it. Yeah. Well, thank you for letting me share. So. Absolutely. And you have a wonderful day. Thank you. I appreciate you. Thank you. Have a good day. Bye. Bye-bye.

[00:59:38] As we wrap up this episode, I have to say that I really enjoyed this conversation with Elaine. One thing she said that stuck with me is maybe we're never actually done healing. Life keeps happening. We keep learning. We keep uncovering things we thought we'd already dealt with. And we keep working through them. And that's okay. I also love what she said about our purpose. Your purpose may not change, but the way you live it out can look completely different depending on the season you're in. And maybe that's the reminder today.

[01:00:07] You don't have to have everything figured out. You don't have to pretend the hard things never happened. You just keep moving forward. Keep growing. And when you're ready, maybe your story becomes something that helps somebody else feel a little less alone. Thank you, Elaine, for being so open and willing to share yours. Thank you for listening. And until next time, remember there is beauty even in the mess. As always, I hope this episode helps at least one person. And with that, I hope you have a blessed week, my friend.

[01:00:40] Thank you for listening to the beauty in the mess. If you enjoyed what you heard, please share it with a friend. And if you haven't already, please subscribe, rate, and review this podcast on your favorite pod player. If you have any questions or comments, any topic ideas you would like to hear about, or you think you would be a great guest on the show, you can reach me directly at thebeautyinthemess.com. Thanks for listening.