Ep. 163 When Life Breaks Your Heart But Not Your Spirit with Rita Cartwright

[00:00:06] I'm Michele Simms and this is The Beauty in the Mess, a community where people who crave a shift in mindset, personal growth, and connection to like-minded people come together to start rewriting their stories. Through engaging, honest, and insightful conversations, the show will help you embrace the mess to recognize the meanings and the lessons it holds and discover its hidden treasures to help you start making a mindset shift. Let's listen, learn, and reclaim who we were meant to be.

[00:00:34] Hi friend, welcome to The Beauty in the Mess. Today's guest is Rita Cartwright, an entrepreneur, author, speaker, and an advocate whose story is one of incredible loss, resilience, faith, and purpose. Rita is a survivor of two domestic violence relationships, including one that ended with her almost being taken at gunpoint after she refused to return to her abuser.

[00:00:57] She later experienced the heartbreak of infidelity and years later unimaginable grief when she lost her husband, followed by her oldest son just one year later. But Rita's story isn't simply about everything she has survived. It's about what she chose to do with it.

[00:01:12] Today at 72, she's the author of How to Heal Your Broken Heart and founder of Go Beyond the Limit, where she uses her own experience as an entrepreneur and survivor to help women affected by domestic violence rebuild their confidence, learn new skills, and work towards financial independence.

[00:01:29] In this conversation, we openly talk about domestic violence, grief, losing people we love, rebuilding self-worth, starting over later in life, finding purpose in our pain, and the faith that Rita says carried her through some of the darkest moments of her life. Whether your heart has been broken by loss, betrayal, abuse, or simply by life not turning out the way you thought it would, I think Rita's story is a powerful reminder that broken does not have to mean finished.

[00:01:56] Hi, I'm Michele Simms, your host. I'm just a regular person who, like so many others, has faced my fair share of messes. Life hasn't always been neat or easy, but it's taught me a lot, and somewhere along the way I got deeply curious. How do other people make it through their messes and not just survive, but thrive? That started my pursuit. I started searching for stories, wisdom, and real strategies, not only for myself, but for anyone looking for a better way forward.

[00:02:23] Maybe there is a faster way, a softer way, a more human way, and maybe we don't have to figure it out alone. I believe we grow through the shared stories, lived wisdom, and the beautiful mess of being human. So welcome to the conversation. I'm so glad you're here. Please join me for episode 163 of The Beauty in the Mess, called When Life Breaks Your Heart But Not Your Spirit, with Rita Cartwright. So without further ado, let's get into it.

[00:02:50] Hi, Rita. Welcome to The Beauty and the Mess. I'm so grateful to have you with me today. Thank you, Michelle. Thank you so much for this opportunity to share with your listening and viewing audience. Absolutely. Now, I know you're an entrepreneur, an author, an advocate. You're all kind of, I mean, I can't do it justice in this small moment, but before we dig into what you're doing now,

[00:03:14] I wondered if you would tell us some of your background, because I think it means so much to people when they know where you've come from and what you've gone through and where you're coming from as to how you're trying to help them. So could you tell us a little bit about who you are and what you've gone through? I am an entrepreneur, like Michelle mentioned, and I've been an entrepreneur since 2002, back when Virtual Assistant was coming on the scene.

[00:03:44] I have a second business. What that business is called RJ's Digital Solutions. And my second business that I launched in 2019 is called Go Beyond the Limit. And it is an organization that's organized to empower the downtrodden women.

[00:04:05] And this organization, Go Beyond the Limit, offers free entrepreneurship classes for women survivors of domestic violence. And these classes are free, as I mentioned, and they are offered online, and it is teaching them how to become an online entrepreneur. I am a survivor of domestic violence. I went through that twice, about 50 years ago.

[00:04:34] And so now I am in a position to discuss my experience and empower and encourage those that have gone through that experience and are rebuilding their lives.

[00:04:49] And personally, well, that's personal. In addition to that, I am a mother, a grandmother, a great-grandmother, and a new great-great-grandmother. Well, congratulations. That's pretty awesome. Now, I know you've talked about rebuilding your self-worth and your self-esteem, especially being a survivor of domestic violence.

[00:05:16] But how do you do that? Because you think of domestic violence and you think it kind of breaks you in a way, right? So how do you come back from that? Yes, and that's why I have this school, Go Beyond the Limit. Well, that's the name of my company, but the name of the school is School of Rebirth. Being an entrepreneur and my relationship with God, well, being an entrepreneur rebuilt my self-esteem and confidence in who I am.

[00:05:46] And my relationship with God helped me to reset and reset my nervous system, if you want to say it that way, and rebuilt my life and restored me and healed my heart. And so those two things. And I think doing something for yourself that you're passionate about, like being an entrepreneur for me, for example.

[00:06:15] I think things like that that you can do that contribute to others as well to get outside of yourself and your circumstances, I think is a good way to rebuild.

[00:06:28] And for those who are not believers or followers of Christ, like I am, there are support groups, there are community organizations, all of these tools that are at anyone's disposal to utilize to rebuild their lives. That's awesome. I have to say, I love that you're open about your relationship with Christ. I'm a Christian too.

[00:06:57] Oh, amen. Yeah. You don't find many people, it seems like, that openly talk about it and are grateful for that relationship. So I love that you do talk about it and you are open to giving credit to God and to Jesus. So thank you for that. You're very welcome. Not only am I an advocate for the downtrodden women, I am an advocate for Jesus Christ. Amen.

[00:07:24] And in this world today, I think that's what we need more of. Yeah. But that's our assignment. And one of my assignments as an entrepreneur is to spread the knowledge of God's glory into the marketplace. And so God is using entrepreneurship as a conduit for me to spread the knowledge of his glory into the marketplace.

[00:07:50] And I am very, very passionate about that. And I do talk openly about it, even on business platforms. And surprisingly, I was a little apprehensive on LinkedIn, but I have tapped into a community of other believers as well. Wow. And they talk openly also. And I said, wow, because LinkedIn is a business platform, right? Right.

[00:08:19] And you see people every day pushing out affirmations and scriptures type of posts. And I'm very pleased with that. And God always seems to have a way of connecting me with other Christ followers like you, for example, Michelle. I think that's awesome. And I do believe that we meet people for reasons. I don't think it's random. And so I do believe that he probably connected us in some way.

[00:08:48] But that's just how I think, I guess. I agree. I agree. Like the songwriter says, God has spoken and I agree. So back then, before you started your business, when you were fresh out of the last domestic violence situation, how did you know like what you were supposed to do? Did you just feel it?

[00:09:15] Were you just convicted or did you kind of fumble around a little bit and then you got into it? I fumbled around a while. I fumbled around a while. And I sought God. I sought after him and I prayed. And believe it or not, it's only been a few years since I learned what my purpose is. Wow.

[00:09:41] But I've always been, what's the right word? My mom used to call me smart. She said, you're so smart. But I've always been, what's the right word? A go-getter. There's another word that I'm looking for. High achiever, maybe. Yes. And even in my book that we'll discuss, I talk about how I was a 16-year-old mom.

[00:10:06] I became pregnant at 16 and how I didn't let that interruption, so to speak, to my path because it knocked me off my path because I had to do something different. That didn't deter me from still being an achiever, going after what I wanted to do.

[00:10:30] And honestly, you know, being 72 years old, I'm not too many generations removed from slavery. And I don't know why I'm going there, but I want to give the backdrop of I saw my grandmother clean houses for a living. Other people's houses.

[00:10:55] And there's nothing with housekeeping services because I'm praying for God to bless me with enough resources where I can bless somebody with a housekeeping job. Exactly. But back then, it wasn't seen so much as, it's not glamorous, but it's acceptable.

[00:11:16] And I don't want to get into the racial divide, but to see her as a Black woman cleaning Caucasian houses, Caucasian people's houses, because this is not too far removed from the time of slavery. Right. And if I can give that information as a backdrop.

[00:11:36] And I swore to myself as a child that I am going to get my education where I don't have to do this. I am going to get some type of career. And this is what I am going to do with my life. And so it's watching my grandmother clean other people's houses that gave me the aspiration. I'm not going to do that. And so I didn't.

[00:12:03] And that's, I guess, what gave me the drive to become a business person. Because, Michelle, I didn't strike out to be, I didn't start out to be an entrepreneur. I, being that I was pregnant at 16, I was able to go back to school at 40 years old because I raised my son and I had other children later in life.

[00:12:26] But I raised my children first and I had the opportunity to go back to college at 40 years old. And I graduated, went full time, graduated with honors and my degree is in marketing. And my plans were to work in a corporation, in a marketing department or advertising department.

[00:12:50] And Sears recruited me from campus to work for them as an executive manager. So they sent me through executive management training and then placed me in one of the Sears stores in Carlsbad, California.

[00:13:14] And after about a year, less than right at a year, I'd say about 11 months, they didn't like my performance. So Sears fired me. I pounded a payment for like the next two years with my new degree, looking for employment. No one would hire me. I was facing, because I was 45 when I graduated from college, although I graduated on time. Remember, I started at 40.

[00:13:43] I faced racism, sexism, ageism. And I heard the spirit of God tell me after two years of pounding a pavement, launch your own business. You won't fire yourself. And the rest is history. Can I ask how you knew it was God? I mean, versus the little voice in our head. How did you know it was coming from him?

[00:14:11] You have to, like I heard Joyce Meyer say, you have to step out on that to test to see. Okay. If it was. And if it didn't work out, she said, you step back, said, oops, that wasn't it. You know? And so then you start again. But that was in 2002.

[00:14:39] October 1st of this year, that would be 24 years. And now he's using my experience as an entrepreneur, combining it with my experience as being a survivor of domestic violence, and came up with school of rebirth. That tells me, Michelle, although I don't have any clients right now, I have had several over the years.

[00:15:07] I'm rebuilding. And I believe God. He said he's going to send me a net-breaking amount of clients. You know the story about the net-breaking amount of fish, right? Make sure Jesus is in my boat and I am in the right boat. I'm Miss Peter. I'm Miss Peter. I'm getting my boat. Yeah, I think it's fascinating that you went back to school at 40. I went back probably 10 years after you.

[00:15:34] I went back at 50 and got my master's degree. And so I love that that's a part of your story. Because I think you show how somebody can pivot later in life. Not that 40 is that old at all. But you can pivot later in life and get that education. I was in the same boat as you. I got my bachelor's, but then I was raising children and working full-time and doing all this stuff and taking care of everybody else. And then you go back and get your degree.

[00:16:04] So I love that about you. Well, all glory to God. I take no credit for it. I prayed while doing homework. I prayed before going in to take a test. I prayed. I did too. I prayed before this podcast. That's just me. Me too. Well, where two are more prayed. Hey. That's where two are.

[00:16:34] That's in agreement. Exactly. Where two agree upon the thing. Yeah. Jesus said, my Father in Heaven would do that for you. So, well, yeah. So I would encourage anyone out there. It's not too old to start over. And I had apprehensions at first. And I said, well, I'm going to be the only one, blah, blah, blah. But you know those students, the traditional age students embraced me.

[00:16:59] I became like the leader of teams because they went by GPA and always had the highest GPA. And we met at my house. And they really embraced me. They didn't treat me like I was older or anything like that. Yeah. Showed honor and respect. So I would encourage anyone, don't let age be an obstacle to go back to school. If that opportunity opened up for you, go for it.

[00:17:28] And at the time, I was working for Arizona State University. I'm in Phoenix, Arizona. Oh, wow. I was working for Arizona State University at the time. I had been working for them for like about five years when that opportunity came up for me to go back to school. And all of the staff, all of the women, and I worked in the provost and president's offices. And all of the women employees in there, the older women, the my age and stuff like that.

[00:17:56] They were like, you doing this for us, Rita. You doing this. I said, you all put all that pressure on me. You go, Rita. You go, Rita. When you're doing this for us. So I did it. I did it. And graduated with honors. So that was all God, Michelle. Yeah. I was blessed to graduate with honors, too. So high five.

[00:18:19] And I have to say, I was blessed in my master's journey that like half the class was my age or older and half was a lot younger. But then when I got my bachelor's, you're making me remember there was a gal that was in some of my classes. She was in her 80s at the time and I was in my 20s. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, it's never too late. And she said she just loved to learn and she wanted to keep on learning. And she always, yeah, stuck out in my mind because I think that's awesome.

[00:18:50] Wow. What a great. And everybody treated her well. Yeah. When she's going to do it, her degree at 80 years old is like a satisfaction thing, right? I think it was just for her. Yeah. I don't know. I didn't follow her after that and social media wasn't huge back then. So I don't know what she ended up doing with it. But it was neat that she wasn't afraid to try. And she was making good grades. She was doing great.

[00:19:14] So I think when we go back to school at a later age, we know what we want. We're not changing programs in the middle of the stream. We know what degree we're going after. And I think that helps as well. Because when I was working for ASU, it was in the word processing department.

[00:19:41] And I said, I want to do something different than this. So see, all of these things along the way pushed me. Right. To want to have more and do more. But look at God. Look how all of that is combining now for these women survivors of domestic violence. Because I know their story.

[00:20:05] And I also share that in my book about my experience with domestic violence. Wow. Do you think some of the high achiever part of you comes from that as well? Like you're trying to, maybe even initially, you were trying to prove something to yourself or to the world that I can do it. I'm more than this person said I was. I think it's just an innate thing of me. I was just curious.

[00:20:35] That's a good question though. Because the abuser does try to lower who you are. Your belief in yourself. Your self-esteem, like I mentioned at the top of this show. Your confidence in yourself. They say things like, what do you think you're going to do without me? No one else wants you. Or they're controlling all the finances.

[00:21:04] You don't have any money. You know, left. And so, I don't think that was the case in my situation. Because the upbringing that I had. The things that I saw. And I knew I wanted something better and different than that. And this was before I went through domestic violence. Right. How did you break free from that?

[00:21:34] How did you get out of those situations? Domestic violence? Yeah. Because a lot of them feel trapped, right? I know. And it's not easy. And it's not easy to leave. As I mentioned, I went through it twice. And the first time, my parents, my grandma and my mom, my dad wasn't there. My mom left him when I was like two years old. And so, that's another story.

[00:22:03] And, but he was, I knew him. He was involved in my life, but not in my upbringing type of thing. So, it was my grandmother and my mom who really formed me into who I am. And so, they knew about the abuse that I was enduring. And my grandmother prayed. She said, God fix it.

[00:22:29] And my first husband ended up being murdered. Oh, wow. After nine months of marriage. Wow. And she said, oops, Lord, I didn't mean it like that. But you got to be specific with your prayers, you all. Be specific on God. Be like, that's what you said.

[00:22:55] And the second one, it lasted seven months. So, both of the relationships were less than a year. God did the first one and he got me out of the second one. And I left the second one. And again, going back to my book. I keep mentioning my book, How to Heal Your Broken Heart. I talk about when I left that situation.

[00:23:23] And at first, he tried to sweet talk me back into coming back to him. And I was very adamant that I wasn't going back. And after he realized that I was not going back, late one night, I just give us an office of it because it's in my book for those who want to learn more. I never pick up my book.

[00:23:50] One night, late at night, and the police was aware of this situation. He, I had moved back to my grandmother's house. That's where my mom was. He came one night to try to kidnap me. He kicked out my grandmother's door. Took me at gunpoint. And I refused to go with him. When he tried to throw me into the car, I held on to my grandmother's chain link fence.

[00:24:19] He couldn't pry me apart. To answer your question, that's how I got out of that relationship. And I didn't see him anymore. That day after, the next time I heard about him, he had been murdered. He was murdered by another guy for, I suspect, the same reason. He didn't, it's another story, but he didn't like the natural fathers being involved in the children's lives.

[00:24:45] And so the guy that ended up murdering him, he did it in self-defense because this guy, the perp, didn't like the idea of him because this guy had gotten into another relationship. He didn't like the idea of the child's natural father coming by to visit with the child. And so he got into a scuffle with the parent of that child. And that parent ended up murdering him.

[00:25:15] And I was called as a witness for the defense, for the guy who murdered him. And so I told them my experience with the perp. And I said, this guy pointing at the one who murdered him, I said, he did me a favor because I don't have to watch over my shoulder anymore for him to come after me.

[00:25:42] And so for those who are still in the relationship, there is a way out. Because when I went through it 50 years ago, we didn't have the resources that are available now. I didn't have a safe haven to run to. We didn't have support groups and organizations and things of that nature. I would say move very carefully.

[00:26:08] And when people be talking about, well, why do you stay? Why do you stay? Why you didn't leave? It's not easy to leave. I almost lost my life. And like I said, they generally controls the purse string. Right. I was just going to say that. Yeah. And so the woman is left with no financial support. And this is one of the reasons God gave me school of rebirth.

[00:26:36] It's to provide them with an opportunity of how to make money. With an opportunity to make money, rather. Learn a new skill. Learn a new career. At the same time, it will build their self-esteem. Because it really built my self-esteem and belief in who I am and being a business owner. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. That really built my self-esteem. But back to your question.

[00:27:17] I know. I can't even remember when I left. But I know that the perp was not at home when I left. So he must have been at work or something. But those. It's hard to say this, Michelle. The ones who believe in God. The scripture says he will give you a way out.

[00:27:47] Right. Of all. He won't put any more on you than you can bear. It's in 1 Corinthians 10 and 13, I think it is. He won't put any more on you can bear. He would deliver you from the temptations. I'm paraphrasing. And in other translation, that word temptation translates as trials. And tests. So people think about temptation, tempted to sin or something like that. No, it doesn't necessarily mean that.

[00:28:17] It can mean you're in a trial. You're in a test. And he will deliver you out of that. And so those who believe pray for a solution. Those who don't believe seek some type of help. Someone would help get. There's too many support groups. There are too many advocates out here now.

[00:28:44] For these women not to be able to reach out to. Someone can get you out of that. Whether you believe in God or not. I'm talking to the audience now. Whether you believe in God or not. You are still his creation. And he would get you out of that situation. So looking back. Do you feel like. And for other women that are listening. Do you feel like there's warning signs.

[00:29:12] That if you see these go the other way. Before they get into the relationship. Yeah. Yeah. If the guy. Because you know. We all put our best foot forward. In the beginning. Exactly. Yeah. The warning signs. The red flags. I would look out for. If the guy's insecure. If he's very. If he's jealous. Like insanely jealous.

[00:29:42] If he. Tried to hoard. All of your time. He doesn't want you involved. With anyone else. But him. These are warning signs. Because the second guy. That was. The second abuser. The one that I left. He didn't even want me involved. With my male relatives. Wow. So if they try to seclude you. From your family and friends.

[00:30:10] This is a red flag. In addition to. If they're jealous. If they're not. If there's not. Excuse me. If they're not secured. In themselves. That's a warning. Because those who are secured in themselves. If he had been secured in himself. He would have welcomed. My children. Dad. Coming by. Right. To see them.

[00:30:40] Because. There's a lot of blended families. Now Michelle. Exactly. Yeah. You got to be comfortable. With the parent being involved. In that child's life. That goes for the woman. And the man. Right. And so these are the warning signs. And I'm hearing that the youth. The younger generation. Are seeing. Being beaten up. And stuff like that. As a sign of love. Oh wow. And if anyone.

[00:31:10] That's. In that listening audience. Or viewing audience. And you're thinking. That that type of abuse. Is a sign of love. Is not. That's not love. Love is someone. Who would honor you. And respect you. And respect your space. And would encourage you. To be all. Who God called you to be. Yeah. And as a believer. I have to say that. I think. If. Women that are. Younger women. That are.

[00:31:40] Especially. Or any woman really. But if you're just starting. Or starting over. Look for that. Man of faith. Right off the bat. Because. That gives you a little bit of comfort. Not that. There still can't be issues. But. At least. You would have that. In common. And hopefully. He would want everything. That God wants you to be. For you. Well. Like you said. There are. Some rotten apples. There are. Yeah. In the category. Of men of faith. There's not a guarantee. No.

[00:32:10] There's not a guarantee. But it's a good asset. To start with. Right. Because. The Bible also say. How can two. Walk together. If they don't. Agree. And so. If you are a believer. And that person is not. It's not going to work. In the first place. Because. We already have. Different issues. Going into a relationship. Whether we. Even when we're. Perfect for each other. There are some. Differences. There are no.

[00:32:40] Two set of. Fingerprints alike. We're different. Fred. And it's like. Yeah. But. A man of faith. Because I. Have been a widow. For five years now. As of this month. In August. August 5th. And so. I'm single again. I talk about that. In my book as well. So. I'm. Sort of. On the market again. So to speak.

[00:33:11] At 72 years old. And so even. I have a certain. Preference. For who. I want. To be involved with. And I prayed. And I have asked God. To send me. Who he has. Selected for me. So any. Woman of faith. That is listening. This is how you. Do. It. Select.

[00:33:40] Because I didn't. And this is what I've learned. Over the years. Let God. Do the selecting. Because I. One of my. Older. Old. Past. Pastors. He's passed on now. He was my pastor. About. 30 years ago. I say. I remember. Him saying. We can see. Down. To the corner. God. Can see. Around. The corner. So let God.

[00:34:10] Do the selecting. I like that. Right. And he told me. I heard him say this. Like over 30 years ago. Michelle. And I still remember it. How profound. Of a statement. That is. Because. It is. The guy can look like. A knight in shining armor. When you're first. Meeting. Starting out. And stuff like that. But. That's us. Looking down. To the corner. Only God. Can see around the corner. What is this guy. Really about. And so. Even. With men of faith.

[00:34:39] I would still say. Allow. God. Pray. And ask God. To send you. Whomever. He has selected. For you. To spend. Your life. With. Because. He knows. The entire. Picture. And those who. Don't believe. Just be vigilant. Be vigilant. Watch for red flags. Be vigilant.

[00:35:07] Because the same red flag. Apply. To. Men of faith. As well as secular men. The same red flags. Apply to both groups. For sure. Do you feel like. That's one of the. Most important things. You've learned. In this journey. Is to let God. For you personally. Let God select. Oh yes.

[00:35:38] Oh yes. And especially. Now. Because. I've been. In my. Own space. For five years. Now. It's a totally new. Experience. For me. I've been married. Three times. Because the first one. I told you. Was the abuser. And that lasted. Nine months. And. My second marriage. I talk about him. In my book. Under the. Chapter of infidelity. And that's why. We're no longer married. And. We were together.

[00:36:08] Like 20 years. I'm talking about. Selection of men. That I'm doing. And. So. My late husband. We. Got together. Right after. It's like. I went out of my second marriage. Into. This. Third. Relationship. And we ended up. Getting married. And we were married. 24 years. When he passed. And I said all that to say. Between my second husband. And third husband.

[00:36:39] And not taking a break. Between the two. And I would advise anyone. To do that. Take a break. Take a break. Take a break. Take a break. I. So. I was. Married. 44 years. Between the two. Right. And so. This is my first time. In having. My own space. Kids are all grown and gone. There's no husband. And I'm here. By myself.

[00:37:09] And. God and I. Are having an awesome time. Together. Having more conversations. I can hear him. Clear. Not saying anyone. Get rid of your husband. So you can do that. I'm just talking about. My situation. So. I don't know. Whether I want to be married or not. I'm dating someone now. But I don't know. Whether or not. And he has his own place. At our age.

[00:37:38] You have your own place by now. Hopefully. And. So. I don't know. If I want to be married. Again. Or not. Now. I have heard a preacher say that. In my position. What God has me doing. That I need. A. A type of husband. That will cover me. And push me.

[00:38:07] And support me. In that. That God has me to do. And he compared it to. You heard about the Proverbs 31 woman. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. She has all of these. Attributes. That's. Glorious. She's all of that. And more. She's a bag of. Chips and more. And so. He said. There's a such thing. As a Proverbs 31. Type of husband.

[00:38:37] And this is the type of husband. That would be secured in himself. And not threatened by you. And your success. And things of that nature. And really catapult you. Into what God has for you to do. And so. He calls it like. If dominion. God has given me dominion. Michelle. He has given me dominion. In his kingdom. He has given me dominion. Over Satan. He has given me dominion. Over. Gifts.

[00:39:07] And callings. That he has. Bestowed up on me. And so. He has given me a powerful assignment. Especially. In rebuilding his daughters. Those survivors of domestic violence. This is a huge assignment. As well as out here. Discussing. Domestic violence. And the things that we're. Talking about now. And he has given me. A huge assignment. I mean. God and I.

[00:39:37] We're doing just fine. But on the natural. From the natural part. Of the natural sense of it. This preacher. This minister. Was saying. For someone like me. Or he didn't say me. Specifically. He was saying. In general. For women like us. That we need a proverb. 31. Type of husband. Who will. Like I said. Undergird us. And support us. And catapult us. And even. The role of a husband.

[00:40:07] Michelle. Is to cover. Their spouse. In prayer. Right. And so. I said all that to say. It's only God. Who knows. Whether I am to be. Remarried. Or not. And also. I want God. To do the selecting. Of. The type of husband. That he knows. That I need. To do. What he has called me. To do. And I say this.

[00:40:37] And then we'll move on. One of the pet peeves. I had with my. Late husband. I was an entrepreneur. All of those years. With him. During our marriage. And. I didn't. Receive. The support. That I. Felt that I needed. As an entrepreneur. Right. Personally. As so far. As helping me with. Household chores. So I can.

[00:41:06] Do my work. As an entrepreneur. And. So this is an example. Of what I'm talking about. Someone that will support you. In all your endeavors. That God has assigned. Your hands. So yes. To answer your question. All of those. I mean. My late husband. He was about the best. Of all three. But I could have did better. But he was faithful. And he was a provider. And he was a protector.

[00:41:37] And so. He was better than the ones. That I had. But. I'll let God do. To select him. So do you think there. When. If you have a husband. That's not. A bag of chips. And all that. Do you. Is there anything. The women that are married. To these guys. I mean. Did you ever tell your husband. Like hey. I need more support. I need more help. And he just didn't. Respond. Right. Okay. Yeah. Right. And he didn't believe.

[00:42:07] In me. As an entrepreneur. He would say things like. Go get a real job. And this was very. Yeah. And I. And I don't share that Michelle. I don't share that. Not many people. You're about. Yeah. It's only you. And another young lady. Who's. I'm very close to. Who knows that he said that. Because the other young lady. I'm close to. She knew him. And she never knew. He said that. To me. And. That.

[00:42:37] That was very. It could have been discouraging. For sure. And I could have did. What he said. But I knew. What God has said. About my business. I know the promises. He had made. And I know. The calling upon my life. As an entrepreneur. I didn't know. That it was going to lead. To the school of rebirth. Through my organization. Go beyond the limit. I didn't know. But I know. He called me. To be an entrepreneur. I didn't know.

[00:43:07] That he was going to use that. As a vehicle. To spread the knowledge. Of his glory. Into his. Into the marketplace. I didn't know. I just knew. That I was called. To be an entrepreneur. I knew his promises. Concerned in my business. Right. And I didn't listen to him. I kept. Listening to what God had. Well not listening. But leaning on.

[00:43:38] What I know. That God had called me to. So yes. We did have those discussions. And that was. Very discouraging. But I forced ahead. I forced ahead. I'm still an entrepreneur. I didn't close shop. I think. Listening to you. One of the things. That stands out to me. The most. Is what you just said. That even though. Somebody as close. As your husband. Isn't being as supportive. As you would love.

[00:44:08] To have had. You still. Leaned on God. And got through. And persevered. And when you got somebody. That close. That's being. Kind of negative. That's hard. I mean. It's hard. Yeah. It's hard. So do you ever look back. And marvel. At all of the stuff. You've overcome. In your life. I mean. You're saying it now. And it's like. Wow. I did do that. You did. You have overcome. So many things. I mean.

[00:44:37] I didn't think about it though. But. I did Michelle. You did. You are very inspirational. You really are. I mean. Oh my goodness. If you think about it. It's. It's unbelievable. So. You know what I'm going to say. All glory to God. Because it's like. I even asked God. About those experiences. As. Being. Going through the abuse. Like I heard. Joyce Myers say. She would.

[00:45:07] Pray and ask God. To deliver her. Out of that abuse. That she was dealing with. With her dad. Sexually abusing her. All of those years. And she was a child. Wow. She was. She said. It was like. Starting like. When she was five years old. And continued like. For 18 years. And this is her natural dad. Wow. And she said. She would pray. And would she overcome. Come. Man. Yeah. And so she said. She would pray.

[00:45:37] And ask God. To deliver her. Out of that situation. And she said. He didn't. But he. Kept her. And now. She's an advocate. To other. For other women. Who. Are dealing with that. Or have dealt with that. And being transparent. Transparent. And it takes. Transparency. Of what we have. Gone through. Like I did in my book.

[00:46:07] In order to. Help someone else. To help other women. And so. God could have. Delivered me. Out of those abusive. Situation. And he did. And he did. Because like I said. None of them. Lasted a year. One. The first one. Was nine months. And the second. Was seven months. And so. As I said. I would talk to him. About that. Why was that. In my. Path. Yeah.

[00:46:36] And he said. But you came out. With all of your body parts. No broken bones. You yet in your right mind. I kept you. While you were going through. That valley of darkness. And now. We would use. That experience. To help other. Of my daughters. Who have dealt with that. Of how to come out of that. And he said. You are a walking testimony.

[00:47:06] And that you are. I'm talking about my conversation. With God. Yeah. Since I've been here by myself. Like we could talk more. With no interruptions. I think it's absolutely amazing. So let's take some time. And talk about your book here. I know you're excited about it. Let's. Oh okay. Share your book. All right. Well. It's to help the women. Like you see. I don't know if you can see it. How to heal. Is it backwards on your hand? Or is it reverse? No.

[00:47:36] It's perfect. Okay. Because it's backwards on mine. So it's mirrored on yours. Good. How to heal your broken heart. And I did mention some of the stories that I covered. I covered three stories of heartbreak. In my book. Domestic Violence. It's the first chapter. I talk about infidelity. How my second husband broke my heart. By having an affair. There's more about that in the book.

[00:48:03] And my third story is on losing loved ones. And that includes my mom. Because I was still mourning my mom. When my husband got sick. He suffered cardiac arrest. And he was sick a year and a half. Before he actually passed. So my mom had not too long. Had passed before that happened. And then a year after my husband passed. I lost my oldest son.

[00:48:34] And so these are the stories that I cover. In losing loved ones. And so these are the three stories that I cover. And I'm very transparent about it. Transparent to the point where it can be embarrassing, y'all. And the second portion of my book. And I really want to stress this. I cover eight biblical principles. And if I can just give a synopsis of what those involve.

[00:49:03] The eight biblical principles that God gave me. That will heal anyone's broken heart. It doesn't have to be a woman. This is universal. Broken heart is a universal thing. And it has to be applied with faith. Therefore, the first principle is faith. And believe. Principle two is read and study the word of God daily. Three, pray. Pray often and pray in the Holy Spirit.

[00:49:33] Principle four, spending quality time with God. Principle five, praying the scriptures aloud. Principle six, protecting your ears, your eyes, and heart gates. And this is one people don't really know about. Principle seven, partaking of the Holy Communion for your healing.

[00:50:01] And principle eight and the last principle is praising God in advance for healing. And so these eight biblical principles, when followed with faith, will heal your broken heart. That's beautiful. I apply the same. That's how I know they work.

[00:50:29] And I sit here before you, a healed woman. Yeah, I was just going to ask, how do you not slip into sadness and darkness over everything that's gone on in your life? But I think you just answered that. So, I do. And I even asked, how do you know I'm healed?

[00:50:58] We're going to have a conversation with AI. It was chat GBT or Gemini. And the examples it gave was like, there's no triggers. You're not sad. You're not wallowing in it. You can talk about it. And you're reaching outside of yourself to help others.

[00:51:24] And it's like AI, even though I've written a book, it's like you're able to write a book about it. And they know all your business, Michelle. They're like, oh my goodness. And so, I know. And even my pastor, he has assigned me. He asked me to be the director over the bereavement ministry.

[00:51:53] Because I know from personal experience what I need from my church, from my community when I was going through that. And that is reaching outside of myself. And God assigned another young lady who lost her son shortly after I lost mine to join me in the ministry.

[00:52:21] And it's just being able to help others reach outside of yourself. Take the focus off of yourself. Focus on others. That is an awesome gift to know that you're fulfilling that role in someone's life.

[00:52:42] And to add to that, God is using me now, Michelle, to minister to wives who have lost their husbands. Oh, wow. And to mothers who have lost their child. So, he's using me in that aspect. You know that scripture, Luke 4.18, where Jesus says,

[00:53:08] The Spirit of the Lord has come upon me and has anointed me to heal broken hearts. Yeah. To set the captives free. To restore sight to the blind. To set at liberty the downtrodden. That first part of it, he has anointed me to heal broken hearts. That's not in all the translations.

[00:53:37] That portion of the scripture is not in all the translations. But God said, that's me. He said, like I anointed Jesus to heal the broken hearted. God told me, I have anointed you to heal the broken hearted. I take this assignment seriously.

[00:54:01] And God wouldn't release me to his daughters unless I was healed and ready. Because I prayed and I asked him, I said, don't release me to your daughters unless I'm ready. And I am able to love again. Have you seen, I'm sure you've come across people that, because you've suffered,

[00:54:30] I mean, losing anybody is horrendous. But I've heard losing a child is the absolute worst. Yeah. And so, have you seen people that they're afraid to let go of the grief because they feel like they're letting go of the person? Person. So, how do you help them know that it's okay to heal and to move on and still hold the love that you have for your person? How do you convey that?

[00:54:58] That is a very good question. The thing that I always tell people, and I don't know if it helps them or not, but God doesn't like death. And he calls death an enemy. And how you know that, Rita?

[00:55:25] Because he told Christ Jesus that, I'm paraphrasing, that death is the last enemy I'm putting under your feet. Note that he called death an enemy. Right. And I shared that God hurts when we hurt. Right.

[00:55:47] And he knows how we feel because he came as man to the earth realm. And so, he knows the pain that we're feeling. And he doesn't want us to feel this pain. He wants us to be able to move on.

[00:56:11] And also share that we're all on our way back home to heaven. Right. They just got there before us. And our role now is to honor them and to live in such a way that we can join them later in life. So, I don't know if that answers your question or not, but this is what I share.

[00:56:40] Because a young lady that's on my team in the bereavement ministry, she still struggles. She still struggles and fights with depression. And she's seeking counseling. And I advise anyone, even if you are a follower of Christ, if you need counseling, seek counseling. Right.

[00:57:07] My pastor say, pray and take a pill if necessary. Pray and take a pill. And so, seek counseling if you need to. And they will help you to separate that as well. But just the knowledge of knowing, especially if they suffered, especially if they were suffering, that you know they're in a better place. They're out of this. Right.

[00:57:35] That the hard part is for those that are left behind to adapt to that person not being in our routine. Right. But they're better off. So, I don't know if that answers your question or not, but this is what I share with those that are ministering to. And for those that are non-secular, non-believers, seek counseling.

[00:58:04] Because your counselor is going to help you to let go of that grief. And grief is a weight. Grief is a weight. We cannot live fully. We cannot operate at our full capacity if we weigh down with grief. Very true.

[00:58:32] You never really get over losing the person, but you get accustomed to them not being in your life every day. Right. And trust me, God will give you what you need to heal. He will give you what you need to heal even in your darkest hours. I promise you,

[00:59:02] God will give you what you need to heal. If you allow him. Because I have asked God, why am I this and that, and he said, because you receive what I have for you. Our God is a gentleman. He's not going to force anything on you. You have to receive it. Even when we ask for forgiveness, we have to receive it. Because all of our sins have been forgiven.

[00:59:32] But those that we still commit, that sin already been forgiven, but we have to receive it. I received his comfort. I received his healing. I received everything that God had for me in order to walk through the valley of darkness, the valley of death. And I also meditate on the scripture

[01:00:00] when Jesus and the disciples got in the boat and they were heading to the other side. And this boisterous storm came up during their trip to the other side. You have to note that Jesus said, let's go to the other side. He didn't say, let's see if we're going to go to the other side.

[01:00:29] We might get to the other side. I'm thinking about getting to the other side. He did not say that. He said, let's go to the other side. Well, he did not say that there was going to be a storm on the way. Right. He will give you what you need to get through the storm. There are blessings on top of blessings

[01:00:57] on top of blessings on the other side. I'm a living witness and I can testify to that fact. You definitely have a beautiful testimony. Multiple ones. God bless you. Hope they don't become convoluted, all mixed up together. No, I don't think so. One thing, and I say this, through all of this,

[01:01:30] I rediscovered who God originally created me to be before life happened. And this is who I am now. Who he originally created me to be. I am on the path that he set beforehand for me to walk in. That's beautiful. That's not an easy thing to do

[01:01:58] because I took a lot of detours. Lord have mercy. I took a lot of detours, you all. Oh my goodness. I was raised in church, but I left the church. I took a lot of detours. But God delivered me out of them all. I'm sorry. No, you're fine. Do you feel like helping other people is also healing you at the same time?

[01:02:29] It's very gratifying. I love people. It's very gratifying to bless others. It is very gratifying. So it may be a source of healing as well. It is very gratifying to help others because he has given me like five gifts. And one of them is the gift of healing.

[01:02:59] And people who believe in that gift come to me for prayer, for me to lay my hands on them. And they receive that healing. And I tell others about it. And so that's one of the gifts. And to know that, that they were healed through me, laying my hands on them from my position in Christ Jesus. Because I didn't do it. I'm just a willing vessel.

[01:03:28] It's very gratifying to even encourage someone. It's very gratifying to help someone to see the light. It's very gratifying to help someone else. I am a prayer intercessor as well to pray for others from my position in Jesus. And when I'm saying that, I'm saying in Jesus' name that I'm doing these prayers

[01:03:57] to get the testimony that my prayers were answered in their lives. It's very gratifying. It sends me into a praise. And the reason why it sends me into a praise, Michelle, is to know that God used me. To be used by God is very humbling. It's an honor. It is. For me,

[01:04:27] I call you, little raggedy girl from the country, to be used in such a magnitude for His glory, for His kingdom. To be used by God is quite humbling. It is an honor, as you said. It really is. Mm-hmm. He could have chose anyone. But He chose you. So how do you know

[01:04:56] what your gifts are? Did you pray about your gifts? Yes. Yeah, I stumbled around in the dark for that too. And it's like, Holy Spirit told me. And hear me say Holy Spirit. I don't refer to Holy Spirit as the Holy Spirit. I know King James and the Bible, they all say the Holy Spirit. But that's where a translation got it wrong because Holy Spirit is a living entity just like you and me. You wouldn't call me

[01:05:26] the Rita. I wouldn't call you the Michelle. Right? Right? I love that. So I don't say the Holy Spirit. Although I say it in my book because I know it's universal use. Right. People say if I say Holy Spirit they say oh, she did a typo. You know, they would think it's a typo. You're right. And so you'll hear me say Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit gave it to me what these gifts are.

[01:05:56] And I'm like I said oh God you think I can handle five? You find me worthy enough for five? That's humbling in itself. It is. Yeah. And he called me to be a teacher. He called me to be a prophet. And he gave me the gift of praying in tongues speaking in tongues. tongues. And

[01:06:27] everyone all Christians don't believe in the gift of speaking in tongues. And I don't know if you do or not. But I believe in it. Yes. Okay. I don't do it currently but I believe in it. Okay. Because I prayed for the gift. I prayed for that gift and God gave it to me. That is the one gift because I refer to it as praying in the Holy Spirit

[01:06:57] in my book. And that's what that chapter discussed. That, excuse me, that principle. Because each of the principles I do go into depth in the book. I failed to mention that. I do go into depth in my book with these principles and they are all scripture supported. So that's what I'm talking about when I mention in the book that one of the principles is praying in the Holy Spirit. I believe it's

[01:07:26] principle three. I say pray, prayer, pray often and praying in the Holy Spirit. In fact, I have a reel on Facebook and on Instagram if you check it out. It's a short reel or one minute reel that I teach on that principle. At my darkest hours, Michelle, I would pray in

[01:07:54] Holy Spirit in spiritual language and watching Joseph Prince. You heard of Joseph Prince? I don't think so. Yeah, okay. He's on TV. He's stationed in Singapore. An awesome teacher. An awesome teacher. So you have to be careful of who you choose to watch on TV, right? Yeah. And so that's why you have to know the word for yourself so you know if they're coming correct or not. So we all need to know the word for ourselves,

[01:08:24] you all. And so anyways, he taught that that is one of the gifts that you can turn on and turn off at your will. And I think it's, I talk about it in my reel but it's in one of them Corinthians and it talks about, Paul talks about how the one

[01:08:54] who the one who speaks, I'm paraphrasing, the one who speaks in a tongue and edifies himself. And one that prophesies edifies the church. I think I got it right but I'm focusing on the A portion. One who, anyone who speaks in tongues edifies themselves. The Greek meaning, because that's in the New Testament so that's a Greek word, the Greek meaning of

[01:09:24] edify in that scripture means to repair, restore, and to rebuild. And as I said, I talk about it in my reel. And so you are rebuilding, repairing, restoring. Every time you speak in tongues, you're rebuilding, restoring, repairing not only your physical body but you're repairing your broken heart,

[01:09:54] your soul, and as I was saying, I said all that as a backstory to say what I'm going to say, what I was starting out to say. In my darkest hours, this was when I didn't know whether my husband was going to live or not and I'm believing in God that he is and then after he passed and then

[01:10:23] my son but God had taught me this during that year and a half while my husband was sick, I would pray in tongues and you can do this while I just you don't have to be in no prayer posture and what is prayer posture? I pray sitting on a toilet. Come on, y'all. I think you can pray anywhere. Anywhere. What is prayer posture? But you know what I'm saying? This is like when you're praying,

[01:10:53] you generally are giving God your undivided attention. So you can be doing household chores, walking around the house, doing anything where it's not undivided but it's sort of a divided attention. You see what I'm saying? You're doing a task. You're multitasking. You're multitasking. That's it. That's it. Multitasking. He's not mad at us for that. Get it in. As long as you get it in, child. Get it in. Thank you for that. This is God

[01:11:23] talking to us. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. But it worked. And what I was trying to say is when I would start praying in the spirit, I didn't want to. I was hurting. I was hurting. I was sad. Right. I know the joy of the Lord. I mean, just it just came out of you when you were praying.

[01:11:52] Well, no, I knew Michelle to do this. Okay. Okay. I knew to do this in order to heal. And so I would force myself to start praying in tongues. And as I was saying about Joseph Prince, he was saying that's one of the gifts that you can turn on and turn off yourself. Wow. Yeah. I can start praying in tongues

[01:12:22] now and I can shut it off. Wow. We have that control over that. So that's one of those gifts and that gift is for, that's one of the gifts. I think Holy Spirit gives nine gifts for the church. I think it's nine gifts and that's one of the gifts that's specifically for you. Wow. Because it builds you up, it builds up your faith,

[01:12:52] your level of spirituality. Through all of this, I received a spiritual promotion. I was catapulted into a deeper, more intense spiritual relationship with the Godhead of glory through all of this. But that's from applying these principles as well and spending time with God and reading his word and all of these things that I mentioned as the principles to fall. I still do these, you all. I still do all of these

[01:13:20] principles because it's not only for healing, it's for our relationship with God and to keep us positioned with God because we live in a fallen world where we're surrounded by evil forces. I believe in Satan and his cohort. We're surrounded by evil forces. So it takes all of this to fight all of that off. But I'm saying all that to say it works. It works. I didn't want to pray.

[01:13:50] I didn't want to do any of these things that the principles that I outlined, I didn't want to do any of these things. I'm hurting. I'm sad. The spirit of depression tried to creep in on me. These are things you have to fight because the devil will try to release the spirit of depression on your life. It's a downward spiral after that. You're going into a rabbit's hole with the spirit of depression and you

[01:14:20] may not never come out of there. So don't even allow yourself to go there. So we have to fight. We have to fight for what's ours. We have to fight for what God has given us because Satan is trying to take it all away from us. And fight for us is the good fight of faith. Believing that God got this because it also said in the Bible Romans 8 28 he works all things together

[01:14:50] for our good for those who love God and who are called according to his purpose. That's the word of God. And it shall not return to him void. It shall accomplish all he sent it out to do. That's the Bible as well. And so the word even the word getting in your word is a healer. Every time you read scripture that's a healer because Jesus is the word. And I'll talk about it in the eight biblical principles

[01:15:20] as I'm breaking them down. You're spending time with Jesus when you're spending time in the word because Jesus is the word and Jesus is a healer. And it is his spirit that's praying through you. We have to open our mouths in order to pray in the spirit. I mean, we can't do it silently to ourselves but we need to hear it. When you're going through the valley of darkness like that,

[01:15:50] you need to hear it because if you pray silently, your spirit can hear it but your soul can't hear it. And that's where the brokenness is. Because we are spiritual beings. I don't want to go that deep but we are spiritual beings living in a body with a soul and we are spiritual beings. And so being we are spiritual beings, our spirit is doing the praying so our spirit is knowing that is hearing what we're praying because our spirit is doing the praying

[01:16:20] because Holy Spirit prays through us. Our spirit prays through us and this is how Holy Spirit prays through us is through our spirit and this is how we are able to pray in the spirit. We're praying in the spirit y'all. Key word spirit. Spirit. Not the drinking spirits. Alcohol. Not them type of spirits. We're talking about Holy Spirit. And so we need remember the one principle I mentioned watch

[01:16:50] what you allow into your ears and eyes and heart gates especially when you're trying to heal. And what you allow into your ear gates can impact your ability to heal. and when I say pray in tongues aloud and I think I mentioned that in my principles as well that's so

[01:17:20] your soul can hear it. So your soul can hear it and start restoring and repairing and rebuilding edifying that speaking in tongues is for us. That's the gift that God gave us. Now there are prophecies that's given in the spirit. Like if you pray if you're praying in the spirit in church that's for

[01:17:49] the church and there's supposed to be someone there that's able has to give the interpreting translating that. Yeah. And so it's a difference. There's a difference y'all. There are two types of praying in the spirit and my gift is not for praying in the church for someone to translate it. My gift is for me to rebuild me, to restore me, to repair me. That's what

[01:18:19] that word edify means. The Greek word for edify means that to repair and rebuild. Did I answer your question? Yeah, I think so. How much time do you spend in the word each day? And I know we got to wrap it up. I was just curious. It varies because it's not a set time because then we have, if we do that, we have reverted back to the law. We are living under

[01:18:48] grace and not law. And so it's whatever time that I have, I attempt to do it every day. I try to do it at the beginning of my day. And it doesn't matter what time I get up. If it's 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 o'clock. That's the first thing I try to do. And what makes it easy, I like structure. I have structure. Have you heard of that Bible app, You Version? No.

[01:19:19] Oh, yes. Write this down. You Version. Yes. Y-O-U is one word. Y-O-U capital V as in Version. You Version. Okay. And that is a Bible app. And it's free. And it works on Android and iPhone. And what I say I like structure each day. It has a devotional based on a scripture for the day.

[01:19:49] And it has someone teaching on that scripture. scripture. And then there's, like I said, a follow-up devotion. Even following that. Even the video, the person talking about it in video. And then there's a follow-up text devotion to go with that. Then there's a prayer with that. And it ends with some type of scripture. And in this same app, I told you I like structure. Because one is you don't know what scripture to read. Right. I mean, there's a such thing if you're

[01:20:19] going through a certain season, there are scriptures that apply to everything that you're dealing with. But you just Google it, scriptures for going through a divorce, for example. Right. Scripture for loss. Scripture for financial help. There are scriptures for everything. But if you're just looking in general, like I'm saying, like in general,

[01:20:49] this Bible app, it gives you the verse of the day. And it discusses that. And then after that, it has like three prayers. It has a scripture where you honor God. Then it has another scripture where you tell God about your concerns. It's a scripture that's based on these topics, is what I'm saying. A topic, a scripture that talks about honoring God, they give that scripture. And a scripture about what are

[01:21:18] you worried about, cast your cares and concerns onto Jesus. And then it gives you like three prayers to pray. It's very structured. And so if I have time after all of that, because that takes about 15 minutes. Come on, y'all, give God 15 minutes of your 24 hours. Right. He gives you 24 hours, you can give him 15 at least. If I have time after that, if I'm needing to open my

[01:21:48] office right then and there, then I won't. But if I have time after that, I do my own personal prayer. Because I don't want to just do the structured prayers. I want to have my own prayer time with God, especially being a prayer intercessor where he's giving me people to pray for specifically. And so this is what I do. This is how I do the scripture every day because of you version. They give me what

[01:22:17] to read. They give me what to read. And then also in this same app, it's fully loaded. And you can give a donation if you like. It feeds me so much I have to give them something. It has all the different translations that exist. All the translations that exist for the Bible. And I have like about 10 of them that I have selected out. And so you can highlight the

[01:22:47] scripture and click on other translations. And it will give you all the translations for that one scripture. So it gives you a full picture of that scripture because some translations may not say what the other one is saying, but it gives you the full picture. And that's a good way to study and break that scripture down. And I have also put the

[01:23:17] scripture in AI. Right. And they break it down for you. And it says the same thing that your translations are saying. And so it's a good way to study. I like that. And my favorite translation version is NLT, New Living Translation. translation. And I like to look at Amplified as a second choice because if you don't know Greek and Hebrew, which most of us

[01:23:46] don't, it will break down what that word means. Michelle, even while watching Joseph Prince, now he breaks down, he's a good teacher because he breaks down that word. Hebrew is Old Testament and New Testament is Greek. And he'll break it down. And do you know there are hidden nuggets within the scripture if you know the Hebrew or Greek meaning of that word? And so that's why I like this. If you don't do that extra step of

[01:24:16] concordance, so to speak, to see what that is in the Greek or the Hebrew, at the risk of repeating myself, Amplified version is a good way. Amplified is to Amplified. Amplified and Amplified Classic. It'll break down some of the words. You'll be like, I thought that meant something totally different. And if you get the wrong meaning of what that word actually means, you don't have the right understanding of what that scripture means. And I believe that's why

[01:24:46] there's a lot of erroneous teaching that exists. And that's one of the things that God gave me a passion against is erroneous teaching. I feel like, God, you use me like you use Jesus in the temple. Just flipping over these coin tables. Destroying what people thought it meant. And he gave me the boldness to do it because I, if you believe it or not, I was a very bashful child growing up.

[01:25:16] But he gave me the boldness to do it because the church that I am a member at now, they were mired in old school ways, church minded. and when I first became a member there and they say certain things and I knew what it said in the scripture, I would challenge the teacher. I'm a student and I would challenge the teacher. I said, show me where that is in

[01:25:45] the Bible. And a lot of times it wasn't even in the Bible. It was a man-made rule. Right. I've heard that a lot. Yeah. And so he called me to be a teacher of the word too. And I'm like, I don't know nothing. I don't know I don't know to become a teacher. And I have to give one of the associate pastors the credit for that. He was teaching on kingdom

[01:26:15] gifts. And that's when I was struggling with what did God call me to do. And so he questioned the class. What do you think that God gave you to do? And so he asked me, Sister Rita, so what do you think your gift is? I don't know. He said, your gift is teaching. I said, teaching? He said, you be teaching when you don't even know you're teaching. Wow. So did it click for you once he

[01:26:44] said it? Did you go, oh, wow, I am doing that? Did it click? Well, it did. Yeah. It did because it's like you and I, we're sitting up having conversations. I'm still teaching. You are. I love it. I'm still teaching. It's a natural part of me. I love sharing information. Why not share the gospel? I love sharing information.

[01:27:13] And it did click because sometimes it takes someone to see that in you to point that out. And that was the first gift that I received with teaching. And I love it. That's awesome. I love it. And now God has me going out doing speaking engagements from my book. Wow. teaching on domestic violence because my

[01:27:43] publisher, she is a woman of God as well. And she said that she said, Rita, I think God wants you to start speaking on domestic violence. And I said, what can I say about domestic violence? And it's like the questions that we talked about, anyone who's in it, how do you school them? How do you get out of it? And I don't know. And so I was told by God, you share your experience and let

[01:28:12] them see you as a walking testimony, as being healed. Then they'll see that this is not my life. This is not my life. I can do better than this. God got her out. He'll get me out. God And so back to my publisher, she was saying, I think God wants you to talk about this in the church because we discovered through statistics

[01:28:41] that it shows that one of four churchgoers are involved in some type of abusive relationship, not necessarily domestic, but some type of abusive relationship. And so I'm like, God, at 70 years old, you're giving me another career going out speaking. And so I do speaking engagements now. That's awesome. And I love it. I love it.

[01:29:11] When it's something that comes natural for you to do, it's a God-giving gift. That's pretty awesome. And I was bashful. not anymore. No, I would like tell somebody, teaching somebody a scripture or something like that. It'd be like, but what if I said it wrong? I'm saying it to a seasoned person that's supposed to know more than me. And I'm like, but what did it wrong? But see how I depend, I was

[01:29:41] depending on myself. Right. We can depend on ourselves. We can't heal ourselves. We can't deliver ourselves. We can't restore ourselves. Being depressed is not receiving the help that's available for you, whether you are a believer or a non-believer. You're not receiving the help that's

[01:30:11] available for you. There's even help for depression. Right. You don't have to live there. God love for is not a respecter of persons which simply means if he did it for me, he'll do it for you. Amen. Amen. Amen. Well, I have to tell you, I know we went over, but I appreciate you so much. It's been a beautiful

[01:30:40] conversation. Like I said, I don't think there's coincidences. I really feel like God put you in my path for a reason. Thank you so much for showing up today. You are a huge inspiration to so many people from so many avenues. So thank you for all that you're doing. You're very welcome. And you know I'm going to give God the glory. I am just a willing vessel. And I say this, we all

[01:31:10] were born for a reason. We all have an assignment here in the earth realm. on our way back home to heaven. Right. I think it's hard for people to find out what that assignment, or it feels hard, right? I mean you hear so many people trying to find their purpose so to speak. Having a purpose gives you structure and I told you I like structure.

[01:31:42] I was like in my 50s, 60s when I discovered what my purpose is. Right. So stay connected, just stay connected to God. And so I feel so much better, so less chaotic, so to speak, less confusion knowing what my purpose

[01:32:11] is that God has given me. gives me structure. I like structure, y'all. I do know that about me. Well, thank you so much. It truly has been awesome. I feel blessed to have met you, so thank you for that. God bless you. Likewise, likewise, and thank you for this opportunity to run my mouth talking about the goodness of God because you get me

[01:32:41] started on God. we could be here all day. I love that. I love that. Thank you, Michelle. Yeah, thank you. And I'll probably end it right there, but it has been a blessing. Thank you so much. I've loved every second of it. You're very welcome. One question I have for you, will you share in your show notes about how to order my book? Yeah. And did you send me the links? It's in

[01:33:10] the bio that I sent you. Okay, I've got that. And my websites as well that's in the bio and even how to contact me. I mean, if any of our listening audience, even, I never offered this, but I'm led to, if you have a question that wasn't answered during this show about this type of experience, my phone number is included in the bio as well. It's my

[01:33:40] business number, but please feel free to call me or even text me. That business number also has the capability of receiving texts as well. And I'd be glad, even if you need prayer, one-on-one prayer, I would pray with you because this is what God called me. I never offered that before, but I feel led to do that. Don't y'all line up at the door now. I do run two

[01:34:10] businesses. I do have other things to do for God. Pray for me, Michelle, because he has more books to birth through me and this is my first of many. I'm like, huh? I think it's awesome. I can tell where you have many more books in you. Really? I can. Let me see what Michelle see. Oh, bless you. Check out my reels on my I am going to because they're short and

[01:34:38] this is something new that I'm doing because God wants to, I know we're going to cut it off, but God once in a while gives me a word for the social media platforms and I usually do it in like a post content post and lately he's having me do reels so I've been doing reels and also I am going to be

[01:35:08] doing more reels given a synophis of the principles in my book and so I started with principle three as the first one that I discussed what social media are you on Facebook and LinkedIn and Instagram and what are your handles on there well on Facebook just look up my name okay and I

[01:35:38] think on all three of just look up my name okay now I know you're on Facebook because we met through a group on Facebook and so yeah I'm doing those reels and the one reason why I did the reel of praying in the spirit because God wanted me to share this is how he gave it to me did you know that praying in tongues can heal you yeah I've heard a lot about tongues I don't know if I've heard it it didn't register if I've

[01:36:08] heard it before so yeah that's a very powerful thing because I was listening to you speak about that like I said if I've heard it before it didn't register but it didn't register with me either but once he taught me the Greek meaning of the word and I was watching Joseph Prince talk about it too and he gave me a revelation and Joseph Prince ministry he says this as well he said my revelations give you revelations and certainly his revelations do give me revelations

[01:36:38] and so yeah God wanted me to point that out because just like you I didn't realize that speaking in because I'm thinking of it as a spiritual thing right yeah not a vehicle for healing I'm sorry I think we get strange ideas about because I never grew up in a church that anyone spoke in tongues so it was very foreign to me I now go to a church where the pastor he realizes a lot of people it is foreign to him so he gives us like

[01:37:08] a little bit but not he doesn't overwhelm people with it for that reason but he talks about it as being a gift and that he prayed for that gift and yeah but it's just coming around to trying to fully understand what it means speak in the language that everybody had so I didn't get it right right and you're not the only one with

[01:37:38] that concept even when we're praying in tongues like in a manner that I explain even for healing he knows yeah exactly you reminded me that when you said we don't know what

[01:38:07] we're saying exactly however I will tell you this and I share this with you and I let you wrap it up if you pray in the spirit for a certain amount of time you will find that these words are coming to you in your language and that is what you just prayed in the spirit so you pray long enough holy spirit because sometimes I even question in the middle of I say what

[01:38:37] you saying it's me Michelle I love that I be honest with him what are you saying ask holy spirit stuff like that I think it's awesome I'll tell you what I know you are there's so much ahead of you I feel

[01:39:07] like that yeah there really is but God give me the health to keep running I am in good excellent health for you all 72 years old on no medication this is what serving our God looks like that's awesome and you're beautiful too so you're beautiful on the outside and the inside and God bless you so thank you so much it's been awesome

[01:39:37] I do appreciate you you're very welcome and I'll be in touch as this goes live so okay thank you sounds good bye bye as we wrap up this episode I keep coming back to something Rita said grief is a weight and she explained that we may never truly get over losing someone we love but over time we learn how to live with their absence what

[01:40:14] I love and she is even writing more books from what she said she describes it beautifully when she says that through everything she has experienced she rediscovered who God originally created her to be before life happened and there's probably nothing more beautiful than that and maybe there's something in that for all of us our hardest experiences will change us but they don't have to have the final word on who we

[01:40:48] you will find all of her information in today's show notes if this episode encouraged you would you take a moment to subscribe leave a review and share it with someone who may need to hear Rita's story today every share helps me thank

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