Ep. 90 Unveiling Your True Self with Elinor Moshe

[00:00:06] I'm Michele Simms and this is The Beauty in the Mess, a community where people who crave a shift in mindset, personal growth, and connection to like-minded people come together to start rewriting their stories. Through engaging, honest, and insightful conversations, the show will help you embrace the mess to recognize the meanings and the lessons it holds and discover its hidden treasures to help you start making a mindset shift. Let's listen, learn, and reclaim who we were meant to be.

[00:00:34] Hi friend, welcome to The Beauty in the Mess. Today my guest, Elinor Moshe, shares her profound journey from a facade of success to a spiritual and emotional awakening, highlighting the issues surrounding her perceived success. She dives into the transformative process of deconstructing and reconstructing one's identity, the pivotal role of astrology, human design, and healing modalities in understanding and reclaiming the true self.

[00:01:02] Our conversation explores the profound effects of societal programming, the unconscious mind, and the importance of reconnecting with one's body. She also discusses the essence and integration of the ego, shadow work, and the complexities involved in healing, emphasizing the importance of living in one's truth. Eleanor is a thought leader, a four-time author, podcast host, and co-founder of The Truth of You.

[00:01:28] As the podcast host of Deconstructing You, she delves deep into deconstructing paradigms, patterns, and psyches to experience the truth of you by healing and journeying into the invisible and the unknown. This was brought on by her own spiritual awakening, realizing the success became the suffocation, with no self-love, respect, or honor remaining in her split realities.

[00:01:52] In her upcoming fifth book, Powerhouse in Prison, she delves deeply into mental shackling, preventing us from experiencing the truth of ourselves, coming out this year in 2025. Hi, I'm Michelle Sims, your host. I'm just a regular person who, along with my family, have had our share of messes that we too have had to overcome. Along the way, I got curious as to how others get through their messes and even triumph over them. Maybe there's a better way, a faster way.

[00:02:21] Maybe we can accelerate our journeys by learning from someone else. That started my pursuit. I think we can all learn from each other through the sharing of our experiences, lessons, and knowledge. So join me for episode 90 of The Beauty and the Mess, called Unveiling Your True Self with Eleanor Masha. So without further ado, let's dive right into today's conversation. Hi, Eleanor. Welcome to The Beauty and the Mess. I'm so glad to have you with me today.

[00:02:50] I think we're both respectively sitting in our own beauty and our own mess. So it is a pleasure to just take fire from all of that and reflect and share this space with you. So thank you for having me, Michelle. Oh, absolutely. Now, I know you're a very successful business owner, a four-time author, many, many other things. But before we kind of dig into those bits of you, I wanted to see if you would tell us a little bit of your backstory, like the highlights of maybe what led you down the path you're on today.

[00:03:20] Of course. Thank you for asking. As you said, there was always a perception of success. I am a strong, independent woman. I have so many things happening for me. Many people would have keeled to trade places with me at certain points in time. But the success became the final suffocation. It became the final entrapment. And I came to a spiritual awakening, emotional breakdown, whatever you want to call it, that there was no truth left in my life.

[00:03:48] And if there is no truth left in life, there is no sense of self left in life. So it was an illusion that I had it all together. I had nothing together once I looked under the hood. And it wasn't me that was in the world, even though that's what I thought. So as much as I presented strong, confident, independent, successful even, I know I'd only ever known split realities.

[00:04:11] And the internal one, which was actually the external one, was my diminished void of life force, void of permission to allow my own personal truths to come to the surface. And instead, what are you left with? Being shrouded, being emotionally numbed out, disassociated, people pleasing, placating myself. The list goes on.

[00:04:34] And I realized I've never loved myself, honored myself, respected myself, chosen myself for decades. Because what this was all foundation on was I will give myself up so I can save mother. So I've only ever known how to be the good daughter. And the good daughter persona therefore presented itself in every arena of my life for decades. Now, I had to be that way.

[00:05:02] This is how life was set up to learn such a lesson of going from death of self to rebirth. And I know that now. But when you're sitting in this, when all of this unconscious stuff is coming to the surface, it was very hard to connect to the beauty of it. It was just mess. It was just chaos. And it wasn't that I had no awareness of this to the extent I had now. I've had 10%. And I tried. I tried conventional methods.

[00:05:30] I tried affirmations. I tried things. I tried doing a vision board. I journaled. And the conventional methods just fried my conscious mind. And that is when the unconscious forces came to aid. I'm fascinated by this because I know you talk about like completely deconstructing yourself and kind of rebuilding yourself in a way. On a surface level, to be honest, that sounds horrifying.

[00:05:56] Because however we identify ourself to take down that identity, it's like what you just said. What do you have left? And I don't know that many of us have gone deep enough to know what's there if you take away. Because a lot of us identify with what we do for a living, right? Your job is your identity. Or like you said, a daughter or a mom or this or that. We identify by what we do in this world. So how do you take that away? And how do you find what's underneath?

[00:06:26] It was petrifying, as you said. And when I was invited to do this, I rejected the notion completely. And it started for me with an astrological reading with the person who then became my coach. And she presented a completely unheard of, unrelatable version of my soul that I had no cells of recognition of. So I rejected. And like, this can't be it. You're telling me I'm all emotion?

[00:06:55] Emotions are for weak people. Emotions don't get, you don't get paid with emotions. This is hyper-masculine paradigm. So I rejected the notion. But in conversation with my then best friend, now partner, I was invited to commit identity suicide. And the fear was, well, if I'm not this, if I'm not the construction coach, if I'm not this and this and this, you know, you just have the list of labels. If I'm not this, then who am I? But that is not how it works.

[00:07:25] It's not problem, solution, conclusion, we're done. I've just restored the program. No, this goes so deep. This is, if we think of the iceberg model of understanding the conscious and subconscious mind, you've got the conscious, which people know is the 5% that we are. We hear, we see. It's the inner critic. It's the inner voice that we hear all the time. And then, of course, the subconscious is the iceberg that is underwater. But the unconscious is the underside of it.

[00:07:54] You can't see it. And to even deep dive, think about, you know, the pressure, the darkness that one enters when they choose to go so deep into parts of their subconscious that they didn't even know existed. You don't even know how to get there because it's pitch black and it's very difficult to access. So we enter this liminal state. You know, it took me so much work just to accept that I am not that.

[00:08:21] But then you enter into this freefall state of I have no idea what is happening, where it's going. You're being invited to separate reality from illusion because we've had it inverted for so long. And then we come into profound lessons, but we still haven't landed on the other side because so much needs to play out. Now, this does depend on the individual.

[00:08:47] The further you have fallen from your truth, the more reclamation that is needed. Also, sometimes the problems or the challenges that we experience on the surface can seem so simple, so simple. The answer is so obvious, but why can't we get there? Why have certain things stagnated for decades?

[00:09:08] And that is where the invitation was to go so deep into the unconscious across timelines, across lifetimes, just to understand what is playing out in this reality as well. So, yes, it was petrifying, but the knock gets louder and louder. I rejected it and it came back and I rejected it and then it came back screaming from soul level. And that is when you know that that's when the surrender happens and the conviction kicks in.

[00:09:38] It's like, fine, I don't know how I'm going to figure out myself, but I'm damn well going to do it this time. And I'm going to extract myself this time. And that is when the path presents itself. It's still petrifying at times and chaotic and messy. How do we get so far away from our true self? I know there's the people pleasing factor and all that, but I almost feel like society programs us in a way.

[00:10:07] Like I've said on a couple other podcasts that there's like an epidemic of unworthiness and no self-love. And there's not many, especially women, maybe men. I seem to talk to more women, but there's not very many that aren't affected by that. So to me, it's almost like we're programmed by society to feel that way and not value ourselves, not honor ourselves to be complicit to other people's wishes ahead of our own.

[00:10:35] So is that where it stems from, do you think? Part of it? There's a collective. So absolutely. What you've touched on is currently our collective is a distorted patriarchy. Now, I'm not anti-patriarchy, but the distorted expression of patriarchy has caused so much pain and so much suffering for men and women, regardless of gender. This has nothing to do with gender. This is the energetic playing out.

[00:11:02] You have women who are in the fullest expression of their distorted patriarchy and vice versa. There is distorted matriarchy. One is not better than the other, both in the healthy expression is where the collective needs to be. So the distorted patriarchy shuts down any feminine expression, which is the self-love, the ability to have space for emotions. Emotions are the compass.

[00:11:30] Look at how on the collective Mother Earth is pillaged, raped. Look at what we're doing to Earth. Look at what we're doing to other humans. War. It is so senseless. It is ridiculous if people actually sit there with the ideology of war. So collectively, the divine feminine has been disregarded. She's not valued. So then how does this play out individually?

[00:11:56] We also then disregard the feminine paradigm because society has told you you must be productive. Your worth comes from productivity. Right. So that's how it's also not necessarily foundation. It depends on the individual. But back to an individual level, you do not come in as a blank slate of nothing from previous lifetimes.

[00:12:20] So you come into this lifetime with a certain template of key lessons that your soul wants to experience. Before Michelle and Eleanor sat here in incarnate form, the soul made certain agreements. The soul made decisions without your input. And now you are the human who is experiencing this. So there is that level that is happening.

[00:12:46] And a big part of that is you might be experiencing loss, death, challenges in the first half of your life. Because then the invitation is to experience the opposite polarity. But also childhood and the paradigms that are set into us through parents and what this then creates. I don't want to call it trauma, but it's stuck energy.

[00:13:12] There was an event that happened, especially at an early age, which caused an emotional reaction that could not be expressed. Or your little self or your child self made a decision that your adult self is still being bound by and is still living from that belief system, from that decision as to how the inner child or the child then was programmed.

[00:13:37] So then we continue to make decisions from that paradigm. But we aren't aware that this isn't us. This isn't our paradigm. This isn't who we are meant to express in the world. If someone had, you know, very conscious parents that cleared their energy and helped them be in their full soul expression, that is wonderful. So someone may be 80%, you know, in a full expression of themselves. That's great.

[00:14:05] Other people, because of the life template that they set up, may only be in 10% expression to themselves. And the way to know that is connecting with how do we feel, but also knowing what is the soul blueprint? How do I know who I'm meant to express that? We're not given any guidance, directions. It's all just projections and unconscious relating. You put all of this in a blender. Who the hell are we? Exactly. Exactly.

[00:14:35] And I think that's what it feels like. I had someone ask that the other day. They're like, you know, who are you? And I thought, I think the other part of living life is that we get so busy, whether it's taking kids to sports or catastrophes or whatever it is. But you're busy, busy, busy, and you never take time. And it probably is taking the time, not having the time, but you never take the time to just sit with yourself and ponder this stuff.

[00:15:02] Or I don't know what the proper tools are to find who you are. Is it meditation? Is it visualization? What is the tools that someone should use? There's the right tool for the right job, as my partner says. And there is a time for meditation. Meditation, meditation in its form, is simply allowing that which is negative to leave you. It's an emptying process. Visualization is great.

[00:15:27] But if I'm visualizing what I, if I'm visualizing based on foundations that were not mine, then I'm just trying to mentally construct an image. It's not coming from your heart space. Fundamentally, your heart knows all. It has all the truth, all the wisdom. But the longest journey we will ever take is from head to heart. So it's very difficult to start there. And, you know, we don't give out the flat advice. Everything you need is within you.

[00:15:53] It's like, but how can you extract wisdom from a place you have never been to, which is within? So through my experience, astrology has been primary in offering that way of navigating and orienting myself. And knowing what are the themes? What are the placements? What are the lessons? What past life stuff have I brought in? Where is the purpose in this life?

[00:16:19] Astrology has offered a whole language of understanding our soul level imprint. Human design has been quite complementary to that. My partner calls human design astrology on steroids. That has also been very practical as well in helping orient ourselves. And also, in our experience, we've also been so blessed to find soul contract numerology,

[00:16:44] which talks about the karma, your talents, your goals, and your soul destiny, that these are the spiritual agreements that your soul decided to have in this incarnate lifetime. So we work with all of these. And when you weave it together, it starts to paint a very specific language. It starts to highlight specific themes. And in addition to that, to truly understand who we are, past life regressions, as we were briefly speaking about beforehand,

[00:17:13] has been key in validating certain themes and certain experiences in this life. So all of these do not deal with my opinion of you. You know, I think, Michelle, you should be doing this. It's like, how would I know what your soul chose? When it's conscious mind to conscious mind, how would I know? So those tools have been imperative. And they're helpful in orientating, navigating, resetting the baseline.

[00:17:42] But then getting to that, experiencing that in your body, is where the healing in whatever modality that is for a person presents itself as. Because sure, I can intellectually sit here and say, my highest expression is mother energy. It's like, I can think that, but can I feel that? And where can I feel that in my body?

[00:18:07] So that is when the right tools for the right job now start coming online. And it depends. It is so individual for every person as to what they need at a specific point in time. Because there are so many modalities, but it is not a one size fits all either. So what is healing in essence? I mean, we all know what physical healing is. But what is the unconscious healing? Is it trying to resolve those inner child issues?

[00:18:36] Or is it much larger than that? Well, yes, it is definitely a big part of that is going to that inner child within. They're hurt. They're suffering. They are the ones who were shut down, dismissed, disregard, had the experience of being scared. Whatever traumatic event happened to them, their pain is that which is stuck and is running you in this present point in time.

[00:19:04] Their energy is one to address. And sometimes addressing that works. And that is all that someone needs. But through our experiences, I've had a heart wall from 79 AD that was up, that was marring my attachment, relational attachments. So it's like, okay, I need to go way back. We had a past life regression where I experienced abandonment.

[00:19:29] I was a 12-year-old boy and he was abandoned by family and he hardened. And that also set up a heart wall. So there is healing that happens across the time because I've brought that in. That energy is still stuck energy from that lifetime. That patterning is still within the soul template and I'm still experiencing it. So there are things that need to be released. That's what healing is.

[00:19:55] It's the alchemical process of transmuting that which is stuck and releasing it back to source. That can happen across different timelines. That happens, yes, going back to your child self and giving them what they needed. It's not just about, you know, removing the negative. It is then also in filling it with the love that they needed, with the honor, with the justice. What did they need?

[00:20:24] That adult self needs to have the capacity to give. Healing can be having a wonderful cry and releasing. It could be anger and soul contracts also allude to the predominant emotion that is trapped. But if it's anger, do you need to rage? Do you need to express that in a teen that was, you know, the rage against the machine energy? Is that part of you not being an expression?

[00:20:52] So healing is going to these different parts of ourselves and giving them the license to express and move the energy that at the time they never got to. Healing can be awakening dormant parts of ourselves. It could be your eros, your kundalini. Healing could be clearing out your chakras, which we can access by ourselves. So it is a clearing, replenishing process that when that energy that was distorting us has been transmuted,

[00:21:20] more truth can come to the surface. We can experience ourselves, our emotional body, our physical body, our spiritual body, our mental body in new ways. And we start realizing things that, right, this landed for me. It's like, I never thought that before. And then there's, they admit it. Like, I'm not going to go through all of the modalities we'll be here for ever in a day.

[00:21:45] But rewiring our nervous system, that is huge because our nervous systems are fried. I know in certain contexts, mine are just stuck in freeze and I need to get out of here. So nervous system reset is also major because that's our central wiring system. If it was fried 20 years ago, it's still fried now. Right. And that is where more somatic practices, breathwork, again, I'm not going to list them all, come into play.

[00:22:13] Yeah, it's interesting with the inner child work. I am wondering if some of that is because we know scientifically that our conscious mind doesn't truly evolve until you're, there's different estimates, but 25, 27 years old, say in that realm. And here you might have a six-year-old trying to process a situation, not fully understanding the situation. And like you were saying, that belief system or that feeling gets locked in.

[00:22:41] And here as an adult, we've never questioned it. We've never looked back at it. And we're still processing it just like that six-year-old did. You know what I'm saying? Absolutely. And it, yeah, it goes on the premise that time is an illusion. So the past 1956, whatever it was, the calendars exist. Time doesn't exist. It is ever present. So we tend to think of that, oh, that happened decades, decades ago. It's inconsequential to me now.

[00:23:09] It's like, no, everything is happening in the present moment. So exactly what you said, it may have happened at six years old, whatever the event was, it was massive to the six-year-old. Right. They don't have the tools. How can we berate a child for not having the tools to process emotions or events that even adults have no idea how to process their own feelings? Just look at corporate. You've got the boss that was triggered. They fire up.

[00:23:38] They energetically vomit over everyone. They don't have the tools. So a six-year-old child is going to have the tools. So energy is ever present. It is all experienced in the now, the blocks, the flows. So the past is playing out right now. So is it that transmuting of the energy that actually causes the mindset change in the conscious mind?

[00:24:06] More than the conscious mind, it's allowing that energy is now freed up. The universal flow can actually move through you. A block is a block is a block. Whatever narrative you've given to it, and that doesn't allow the cosmic flow, the cosmic energy to flow through you. The universe can't flow through anything that is so blocked and so distorted.

[00:24:30] So, yes, when that energy is released, how that then manifests in a behavior. So, you know, Dr. Bradley Nelson, he's the founder of the Emotional Code and talks a lot about how people released a stuck energy and they then were not scared of the dark. Or they released a stuck energy and a behavior that plagued them for so long is now no longer there. It's not wired into you anymore.

[00:25:00] So people who had fear of, let's say, opening up to someone else, they may have released energy in their throat center, which they had a fear of speaking. And now they find that they can start speaking their truth. And therefore, you know, that pattern then continues. So the transmutation of the energy is the de-patterning of behaviors that are fundamentally not great for us. This could be with money as well.

[00:25:27] I know because I was on autopilot in one area. Well, you're on autopilot in other areas. So what did that mean? Money just out. I wasn't paying attention to it. So now that I'm that energy of, well, for me, it was vows against prosperity. It's like the relationship with money on a very deep level has changed. And then you start seeing opportunities start coming up where that was just a desert for the last two years.

[00:25:56] So, yes, you start seeing changes over time in the behavior or in how your reality is expressing. How long does it take? I mean, because to me, a lot of this sounds like it's a human lifetime of work, right? I mean, and I know we're ever progressing in it. And in a sense, it is a lifetime of work. But it just almost seems impossible to quickly move from one to the other. So is it quick?

[00:26:25] Is it slow? It's the right tool for the right job. There are, you know, talk therapy. If he wants to be in talk therapy for 20 years of their life, it's like, I don't want that. I don't have time for that. It's like I'm already, you know, at a certain age, I want to experience certain things. I don't have the time to go week by week and talk and unpack everything. Sometimes you need to do a massive sweep. You need to go beyond the ordinary reality.

[00:26:55] You need to experience a non-ordinary reality. It is the right tool for the right jobs. The right tool for the right job. It also depends. And some people want, I'm one of those people, as is my partner. We like the heavy. We're okay in the dark. We appreciate the mystery and the knowledge and the wisdom that is extracted when we go there. But you need to come out in the light. You cannot have one without the other. And I've been in the too heavy space and you don't come back out.

[00:27:24] And those people which are just in the love and light never look into the darkness. It doesn't work that way. It is the duality, the polarity of it. Yes, it can be a lifetime work if someone chooses. But if you are not experiencing all of you, if you are not experiencing the reality that you desire, that is the invitation to look deeper and understand why is this happening? Why is this playing out?

[00:27:53] But again, right tool for the right jobs. There are tools which can transform your reality in an instant. There are tools which spread out the experience over decades. It really does depend on how many unconscious mountains and how big those mountains are that someone wishes to move. So it is highly individual. Some people start on the path and they stop. They're full. They're satisfied.

[00:28:22] But a minority will make this their life's work because this is the great work. Healing ourselves, our multidimensional selves is the great work. But you still need to go out and live your life out there to go whatever living your life looks like. Why did we come here to experience this life? So it is a balance. It can be a lifetime's work. It can be something that people do for a few years and they're content.

[00:28:51] We don't know what the soul chose. Right. Now, I heard you talk about you and your partner appreciating the darkness. And I know there's lessons to be learned in the darker parts of life, at least. But what are you referring to when you talk about integrating lessons from the shadow? What does that mean? The shadow is, I'll use a different analogy.

[00:29:15] Think of yourself as a mansion, an endless mansion with infinite rooms. There are some, you know, the beautiful penthouse. It's wonderful up there. It's light. It's luxurious. It's fantastic. It's abundant. You need to experience that. The shadow part is there are rooms that you don't even know exist and they're locked and you don't even know that you have the key to open it. Now, this is what lives in your subterranean basement.

[00:29:45] Of that mansion of yours. You may only be familiar with the waiting room and your bedroom, but what lives in the basement? This could be the inner child even. Some people do not have awareness of the pain that their inner child is experiencing. That could be part of your shadow and that is still playing out. It is active. Just because you can't see your subterranean basement doesn't mean it's not there.

[00:30:14] It is simply invisible and unknown to your conscious mind, but it exists. And that is the shadow. So that which lurks in the darkness. It is parts of you which are neglected, dishonored, disregarded, discarded, disconnected, disassociated from your present moment experience of yourself. That could be the inner child.

[00:30:40] There's the Jungian model of understanding your survival archetypes. Your shadow could be your inner saboteur. And my inner saboteur was, she was running the show because Eleanor isn't allowed to change. Eleanor isn't allowed to move forward because if she moves forward more than she's allowed to,

[00:31:05] then that would threaten the familial system and how their reality has been set up. So anytime something gets too good, the inner saboteur gets hyperactive and will start to take things away. Now she can work to my advantage to protect you from certain scenarios, people, events.

[00:31:27] So there is a healthy expression of the saboteur, but mine was a hyperactive inner saboteur that was wielding itself against me. So until I did not have a language or a conceptual framework for bringing out these patterns from my unconscious. And then here I am going, how come this happens? How come all of a sudden people are hit with a $20,000 bill? They're not meant to have that money, right? As you've got bills everywhere. Yeah.

[00:31:57] Right? But nothing happens by cheer accident. So the investigation of the shadow is opening the hood and going, right, what is the wiring here for better or for worse? There are good parts locked in your shadow. My whole persona, my whole soul blueprint was locked in the shadows. I did not know as to who I was meant to be. That was in the shadows.

[00:32:23] So yes, the shadow offers more challenging parts of ourselves, but it also offers the beauty. As you know, we're here to discuss in the shadows is the beauty is the richest expression experience, the gold of yourself, if you will. And how do people connect with that today? As you said, take the time and ask yourselves, how are you? How are all parts of you?

[00:32:51] And if everyone starts yelling at you, it's like, right, we need to do some heavier duty work here than just affirming our way through life. So for the self-saboteur that you were talking about is a lot of that. And I'm thinking a lot of these things like imposter syndrome, whatever. To me, there are a lot based on fear. And so how does that play into all of this?

[00:33:15] Because is that just the conscious mind looming on what could be, what might be? Well, that fear is an expression of the paradigm that we view and create our reality in. Fear is the absence of love. And I'm not talking about Hollywood love. We're talking about the cosmic, the universal love. The fabric of which we exist and emanate from is infinite love.

[00:33:44] Fear is a lack of that. If someone had a cup that was 100% love, where is the fear? So that fear, whatever that is expressing as, whether it's people pleasing, not taking right action for yourself, not giving yourself time, worrying, anxiety, they're all manifestations of fear, which is originating from that paradigm.

[00:34:10] That, you know, how deeply has your unconscious set your perception of reality? And sometimes that fear is not even yours. A lot of the fear that I carried was not mine. It was mothers and fathers. It was projected, impressed onto me that I thought it was mine. But the more that you seek to release the other's energy from you, you realize that is not your original wiring.

[00:34:38] And fear as a state is not our original wiring. We're not meant to live like that. It's a tagline of our business. We're not meant to be this small, just rendered in fear and indecision and worry. It's referring to a lack of trust within ourselves. It referring, it's referring to a lack of safety within our body. It's referring to a lack of love that we are not giving ourselves.

[00:35:09] It's in reference to the lack. And yeah, it expresses in so many different ways. It's a fear of money. It's like, oh, you know, people hit a certain threshold in their account. And all of a sudden it's like, oh no, if I have more money, what will people think? Now I have more responsibilities. And then bam, the car breaks down. Something happens. It's like, ah, it's been reset per se. So yeah, fear is the illusion that there is a lack of something.

[00:35:37] But if we seek to understand ourselves, we will know the universe. And if we seek to understand the universe, we will know ourselves. And there is no lack. That is the illusion that we are maintaining, again, through the wiring, through the paradigms, through the stuck energy, through the template that we came in with, through and into this incarnate life. Yeah, it's fascinating. And I think you touched on something key because you said a lot of that fear was not even yours

[00:36:07] when you examined it. And that makes me think of, you know, that inner critic. Mine used to be horrible. And when I finally started examining it, like, why am I saying this to myself? Where is this coming? It wasn't even my words. It was something that someone had said to me years and years ago, and I was replaying it back. It wasn't mine. And so I think. Perfect example.

[00:36:32] Yeah, examining what we're doing to ourselves is vital because, like you said, a lot of times it's not even ours. No. We're just carrying someone else's. My language, when I'm in the energy of the maternal and paternal impactors, my language is very different than when I went to. I remember I went to a Kundalini event and the language, how I spoke to myself there was so different.

[00:36:59] Even how I speak to myself when I'm with my partner versus the energy in the house. So you're absolutely right. Is this actually your language, your thoughts, or are you just absorbing other people's energy packets and calling it your own and then diminishing, diminishing, diminishing yourself? Exactly. And I think that's huge in anybody's journey. Absolutely. Absolutely.

[00:37:27] I know you talk about returning to self and I know all of these tools and all of these steps help us return back to self. But a lot of us, like I use myself for an example, when I hear someone say that, I don't even comprehend. I don't think. And I'm an intelligent person. I mean, I have degrees. I did well. But it's hard for me to even comprehend what that means. Is that normal or abnormal? So normal.

[00:37:54] It is, it is so normal. And this is the trick. Parts of our mind have been tricked into believing we are ourselves. But are we? And until there is no contrast. Contrast is huge to sometimes shake people out of their paradigm or their fishbowl. So sometimes it's life events that shake people. Sometimes it's contrast.

[00:38:21] Trust that as soon as you, let's say, I know this was the case for me, but I wasn't heeding the call. When I would travel interstate, so much from under the surface would just bubble up. And I wouldn't have a clue what to do with it other than put the lid back onto it. Exactly. We especially, and this is in no way disregarding the mind. The mind is pivotal in this. The mind is what we need to use to bring things to your conscious awareness.

[00:38:49] The mind, especially in the kind of coaching that we do, we work with the mind. It's not just you need to get out of your head. It's like, no, some people can't and they're not meant to. Like my partner, we need to actively engage all parts of mind. And as for me as well, you know, I was not a person who was going to go sit with my feelings. I needed to intellectually understand the consequence of not doing that before I could go do that.

[00:39:16] A big part of that is we are not aware of what our soul chose in this lifetime. We're not aware of why things are playing out the way they are. We have no idea of the landscape of our body. What is our body trying to say? Our body is typically yelling at us, but we're not listening because we're not there. We're all these floating heads.

[00:39:41] So until we do not actively visit different parts of ourselves, it could be the emotional body. How is Eleanor truly feeling today and giving as much time and space to connect with that as needed? The physical body. Wow, I didn't realize that my ex body part has been screaming for days. Just look at people in corporate. They can sit there static. Their foot is numb and they don't even know that they need to pee.

[00:40:11] It's not because they're so immersed in their wonderful corporate job. It's that's how disassociated they are from their body. So are we visiting the landscape of the body? And the body is tied to the feminine paradigm. Feminine consciousness. If our feminine consciousness is not integrated, then of course we're not going to go into the body. It's like, why would I go to somewhere that I didn't even know exists and that I don't value? Because I only value the hyper-masculine consciousness that society has told us to.

[00:40:41] Because that also reaffirms as to how I get my worth, which comes from doing. Because as a child, I had to do things to get attention. And now I'm still doing that. So yeah, we haven't visited our physical body in quite some time. Our mental body. Is it just spinning its wheels? Is it just eating junk food? And our spiritual body. Is our spirit even with us in this body? Or has our soul said, nope, these are no conditions to be in.

[00:41:10] I'm out of here. And that is the concept of soul loss or soul fragmentation. So it is quite normal to think, well, of course I'm me. I'm sitting here. I'm having a conversation with you. I'm an adult. I make my own decisions. But when we allow that deep inquiry and when we pick up different tools that reveal different parts of ourselves, that's when the notion of self starts to become challenged.

[00:41:37] And it is normal because the ego doesn't want that threat. The ego needs. We need an ego. You know, a lot of people in the spiritual community will say dissolve the ego. It's like, no, I am still incarnate here. There is a character that this 3D form is playing. But we want a healthy expression of the ego. So until some people get a call, some people follow their curiosity.

[00:42:04] But most people are under the illusion that they are all of who they are at this point in time, which is not the full truth. So does ego just mean like how you identify as yourself? Because like I think of ego, like I work with a lot of big egos. I mean, they're full of themselves. They're the best that ever was, the best that ever will be. I possess nothing like that.

[00:42:32] And so I think of myself as not having an ego. But maybe ego is just how you identify yourself. That's why I'm asking. We all have ego. The fact that I want you to call me Eleanor and you want to call, that's part of our ego. If I don't have a name in this reality, then how does someone refer? It's our identity, right? It's in a way. Yeah. So we all have it, but it's a healthy expression.

[00:43:01] It's like we're not overly attached to it. We do need it. You know, there is a certain level of cloaking that we have in order to play in this dimension. We're all playing a game and like a character in a video game, it needs a uniform. It needs a sword. It needs coins to get through, right? It's a video game expression.

[00:43:28] In order for the character to play, it needs certain aspects. That's part of ego, but it's a healthy expression. It's understanding that I'm not attached to this. This isn't me. And the more that we are attached, like you said, those big egos, they're full. They think they know everything. They are absolutely full. But if they were to look under the surface, which they may not in this lifetime, and we've had people say, I'm not dealing with any of this in this lifetime.

[00:43:56] I'm just packing FedEx this away into the next lifetime. It's like, well, that's horrible. But this is the dimension of free will. So ego is not something that you need to dissolve. It needs to be integrated. It's your conscious mind. We need it. It has a role to play. Right. But do we want it to run the totality of the show? Absolutely not. Yeah.

[00:44:22] And I loved how you mentioned the body as well, because I think you hit it spot on that a lot. Again, I don't know if it's just to your point that society, I think, kind of programs us to ignore the body. Right. Right. You're a hero. If you sit at your desk all day and work, work, work, and you ignore that your foot's asleep or you ignore that you have to go to the bathroom. And I think we do lose touch because I was totally relating to what you're saying. I'm like, I do pay attention.

[00:44:49] I know if my foot goes numb, but I also know that that urge to ignore it is there. Right. To just say, oh, it'll go away. It'll be okay. I got to get this done. Because the feminine lives in the body. It's the heart. It's the physical. And when we slow down, we can't just tell her, but okay, go relax. It's like, imagine if we treated a child like we treated our bodies. It's like, now you go relax. Now you come sleep here.

[00:45:17] Now I want you to sit in this rubbish environment with sub-average consciousness. And I want you to sit here all day. And then I want you to be stuck in traffic. And it's like, and then you're going to be exhausted. And then you're going to do that for the next 10 years, a decade. We are misusing our body. We are not connecting to it.

[00:45:42] We're not wanting to even explore and honor how much the body is doing without a conscious intervention. The beautiful system that it is. Without the body, the soul cannot experience this reality. Right. Once the soul's done with it, it can get a new body. But we still need to honor the one that we have been given. This is a creation from God.

[00:46:10] This is our godly creation. It is our body. And we are individually raping it, pillaging it, misusing it. So then that is reflected on the collective. Because the body is the feminine. And collectively, society does not, as we started off with, does not value the feminine consciousness. But also connecting to the body. It is numbed out. It is frozen. It is not even here with you in the present time.

[00:46:40] So how do you visit something that's not here with you? How do you visit something that may be numbed out? That once you remove the veil, so you can actually see and feel what's happening in the body, that takes time. It's not like, you know, conversation. It's like, right, now I want you to tell me the truth, bud. It's like, I can't. I'm frozen. I'm numbed. I'm not here with you. I can't speak to you. It's not safe to speak to you because I know exactly what you're going to do. Your body knows what you're going to do.

[00:47:09] Before you do it, it's where the subconscious is housed. So I know you're just going to get the answer and then you're going to go back and do exactly what you did. It's not safe for me here to express. So I'm not doing it. So body work, which is also a part of healing, takes time. It takes time to defrost something that has been frozen, untouched in a loving way for decades.

[00:47:38] Nothing is inconsequential. That which has not been given love, attention. Do you think it's going to speak to you? Do you think it's going to want to be with you? No. I'm just going to get the hell out of here. So our bodies carry immense pain and suffering. You know, we spoke about trapped energy. Where is it? Here. In our body. And that's where its final form will be physical dis-ease.

[00:48:07] My back hurts. My shoulder hurts. You know, operations. Cancers. That is the body just yelling and just caving out and saying, this is too much to handle. It needs to be expressed. And people still don't pay attention. So you're making me realize even more so that awareness is everything, right? Becoming aware is the first step of anything. Massively. Yeah. Yes. But we do disconnect to our bodies big time.

[00:48:36] And I think we take them for granted until we can't take them for granted anymore. Yeah. You know what I mean? Until, like I said, they yell at us and say, hey, you're going to address this. So you're going to address it. And if you weren't, it's going to come back and it's going to seep. Yeah. That's amazing. Well, thank you. You give us a lot to ponder. And I want to be respectful of your time.

[00:49:01] So I wanted to ask if you would tell us about your business, the truth of you. Of course. And this was something that on the path, it couldn't have happened any sooner than it did. Once I started on this path, I so wanted to quickly mentally construct. It's like, I need a business mode once just failed and it's all sabotaged and it's all in ruins. Like you can't build on that foundation either.

[00:49:28] Well, and so many things had to pass primarily my partner and I getting together, which is a whole other story. It was a tarot reading and a past life regression. We needed cosmic intervention because that's how shut out of ourselves we were. But it was not something that I could wear. What I wanted out of business and life was not something that I could do alone and didn't want to do alone.

[00:49:56] And early on in the relationship, we started, you know, okay, well, let's do something together. And we were throwing, we were thinking about what that could look like. And then it was a day early April this year that the name just landed so, so gently. And it was truth of you because that's, that's a big part of what we are here to discover. And our tagline is because you are too big to be this small and myself and my partner,

[00:50:22] we are too big to be this small and living these realities that are not allowing for our richest, most fullest expression as is humanity. And what we also found as we're on the path was that we'd experienced different modalities or conversations, and there would always be a perspective missing that would not allow the person to have that full awareness that they need to then go move on with what they needed to.

[00:50:50] There'll always be a perspective missing. And that's why in our journey, we had to go higher and higher and deeper and deeper in order to get to the, the absolute root of where the energy was trapped that did not allow us to experience ourselves and to actually shift the reality, the unconscious mountain. So truth of you is this multidisciplinary coaching practice, coaching and mentor that we enable

[00:51:19] that deep investigation and exploration into the layers of our identity to begin to arrive at truth. Because only once truth and illusion are separated, can we then allow for who we were always meant to be to come out. So we combine spiritual wisdom, we combine psychology, we combine timeless divination practices and

[00:51:45] somatic awareness using these models to deconstruct one identity and then to reconstruct it as well. And, you know, we also are that which fits in between all of it, the integration, because it's a lot of work to be like, okay, I got this from here. And I got this piece of information from here. But how does it fit together? What is the tapestry of self that we are seeking to, to answer?

[00:52:13] And it all just comes back to the two most important questions. We can ever ask who and what am I? Well, that's amazing. It sounds like quite, quite a journey helping other people even, I mean, beyond your own journey, but just helping other people go through this, that has to be a fascinating adventure also. It is phenomenal, to say the least, because, and this is, you know, who we want to deal

[00:52:41] with is that people who have, you've done the conventional, you've even maybe started on the path, but it's still not enough. So that's why we're positioning ourselves as the heavy duty consciousness workers. We are going to go deep because when things stagnate and people are 30 and 40 and the time's passing and it's not getting any better. And people have this, I'm done with it energy.

[00:53:09] It's like, we're not going to sit around and do talk therapy here. We've got work to do. We're going on an amazing cosmic journey. So yes, it is phenomenal to be in this space. And we've received through our own past life regression that we do on each other, you know, guidance from our higher selves as to what this business will be and what we're trying to do. So it is going to be phenomenal and it is very exciting. And you're absolutely right.

[00:53:35] It is a privilege to venture so deeply with someone. I can only imagine. So would you want to tell us about your books as well? I saw where you've written four books. I have. I won't speak too much about them. Okay. Just as they're not so much in line with what I'm doing today. But regardless, I respect them for where I was at the time. I love writing.

[00:54:02] It is an expression of myself. And each one of those books is where I was at the time. So they all hold an important place for where I was at the time. They're still as relevant as to, you know, if I was to pick up any one of those, they have relevancy. And I'm looking forward to the books that will also come. I'm most excited about the ones that will come.

[00:54:27] I'm working on my fifth book, Powerhouse in Prison, which is the journey that I am on at the moment. And as much as I, again, wanted to just finish that, I couldn't finish it because there were things that I couldn't even imagine would be possible in one year that I am experiencing. And my partner and I also do want to write our book of our cosmic journey.

[00:54:52] We want to find, we want to have a catalog of the lives that we have shared and to write about that. So more books on the horizon. But writing is a very big part of who I am as a person and how I access my own truth. So I won't speak about them in detail. They are more angled towards professional practices. Okay. But they are very important as to even getting me to where I am today. Awesome. So one last question.

[00:55:19] Is there anything we didn't talk about today, which I know we ran the gamut sort of, is there anything we didn't talk about that you want to make sure that the listeners hear before we leave? You have done a phenomenal job. Thank you so much for allowing the conversation to go up and down across all dimensions. I really think that if you're not living in your truth, then as my partner says, what the hell are you doing with your life?

[00:55:45] And we all need that cosmic bitch slap to help awaken us into deeper layers of awareness. And from there, I was not a person who thought reality could change in a year, but oh, how it changed in a year. Wow. It is really a magical experience. And the more that we lean into that, the more that we can end our individual and collective suffering. That's beautiful. Thank you.

[00:56:14] So how can people find you if they're listening and they say, oh, I love Eleanor. I want it. I want more. Where do they find you? The Eleanor Moshe on Instagram, Eleanor Moshe on LinkedIn. We're truthofyou.com.au and truthofyou official on TikTok and YouTube. Awesome. And I will also include all that in the show notes, of course. I wanted to thank you today. It's been great. It's been fascinating. Thank you for opening our awareness. A lot of us, at least me.

[00:56:43] So I appreciate it. It's been very interesting and far exceeding the conversation I expected. So thank you. Thank you so much, Michelle. I appreciate the opportunity. Absolutely. Well, thank you very much. I really enjoyed meeting you and having our discussion. You too, Michelle. Thank you so much. I look forward to staying connected. Have a good evening. Bye-bye. Bye. As we wrap up today's episode, I hope Eleanor sharing her knowledge, experience, and wisdom has helped you in some way.

[00:57:12] I think one of the most profound things that Eleanor talked about on a human level was just about how your body is a partner to your soul, to you, and how long has it been since you thought of it, took care of it, and treated it in a loving way. After all, if you believe you are a spiritual being having a human experience, then this is your vehicle while you're here on this earth. And we really need to listen to what it's telling us, especially when it's in some sort of distress, but at all times, really.

[00:57:42] And it was a bit scary and a bit exciting when she talked about identity suicide as far as deconstructing your identity and then reconstructing or rebuilding it. And the question of who are you really? That's a huge question in all reality. I don't think many of us really know, and I don't think many of us really take the time to find out. And lastly, I thought it was also fascinating how she mentioned that fear is the opposite of love.

[00:58:09] Now that is something to ponder for sure, because it kind of begs the question of whether we can overcome our fears with love. How cool would that be? I hope you enjoyed today's show. I would love to hear from you. As always, I hope this episode helps at least one person. And with that, I hope you have a blessed week, my friend. Thank you for listening to The Beauty and the Mess. If you enjoyed what you heard, please share it with a friend.

[00:58:38] And if you haven't already, please subscribe, rate, and review this podcast on your favorite pod player. If you have any questions or comments, any topic ideas you would like to hear about, or you think you would be a great guest on the show, you can reach me directly at thebeautyandthemess.com. Thanks for listening.