Ep. 72 Overcoming Patterns of Trauma & Stress with Krissy Loveman

[00:00:06] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm Michele Simms and this is The Beauty in the Mess.

[00:00:09] [SPEAKER_01]: A community where people who crave a shift in mindset, personal growth and connection to

[00:00:14] [SPEAKER_01]: like-minded people come together to start rewriting their stories.

[00:00:18] [SPEAKER_01]: During gaging, honest and insightful conversations, this show will help you embrace the

[00:00:22] [SPEAKER_01]: mess to recognize the meanings and the lessons that holds and discover its hidden

[00:00:27] [SPEAKER_01]: treasures to help you start making a mindset shift.

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_01]: Let's listen, learn and reclaim what we were meant to be.

[00:00:33] [SPEAKER_01]: Hi friend, welcome to The Beauty in the Mess.

[00:00:37] [SPEAKER_01]: For this episode I'm very happy to welcome Krissy Loveman to the show.

[00:00:41] [SPEAKER_01]: Krissy is a trauma-informed life coach and she shares her journey from growing up in a

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_01]: conservative, fundamentalist environment to dealing with chronic pain and burnout.

[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_01]: She tells us about the pivotal moments in the transformative practices in her life,

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_01]: such as young gui and psychology and feminine movement pull dancing, believe it or not,

[00:01:00] [SPEAKER_01]: that led her to become a life coach.

[00:01:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Krissy helps people build confidence and reclaim their power over anxiety,

[00:01:08] [SPEAKER_01]: self-doubt, and people pleasing.

[00:01:10] [SPEAKER_01]: She coaches the conscious and unconscious mind to rewire neural pathways that create

[00:01:14] [SPEAKER_01]: deep lasting change.

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_01]: A self-described, psych nerd, Krissy loves to teach people how the brain and nervous system

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_01]: drive our behavioral patterns.

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_01]: She places a special emphasis on deep programming notions

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_01]: that pour self-discipline or lack of willpower are the reasons we fell to change ourselves.

[00:01:32] [SPEAKER_01]: So without further ado, let's dive right into today's conversation.

[00:01:37] [SPEAKER_01]: I Krissy, welcome to The Beauty in the Mess. I'm so glad to have you with us today.

[00:01:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much for sharing with me with you.

[00:01:44] [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely. Now I know you're a trauma-informed life coach, but before we get into what exactly

[00:01:50] [SPEAKER_01]: that all means, can you tell us some of your journey that if what led you to become a trauma

[00:01:56] [SPEAKER_01]: informed life coach, what got you down this path?

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh boy, yes. That's a whole story, isn't it? So let me see if I can give this to you in a way

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_00]: that's concise for really hits the main points. So I grew up in a very conservative, very strict,

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_00]: very fundamentalist religious home and I grew up in a lot of strict values.

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_00]: And that led me to a place where I cared a lot of tension in my body.

[00:02:31] [SPEAKER_00]: I started developing a lot of chronic pain in my mid 20s, pain that people at that age group just do not

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_00]: have. I became a chronic overworker of working myself, had a lot of trouble being still

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_00]: being with my deep still and very productivity driven. And I worked really hard and I graduated

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_00]: with all days and all these honors and had a lot to be proud of, but I didn't really know

[00:02:57] [SPEAKER_00]: how slow down and listened to my body. So I started having chronic pain in my 20s and my early 30s.

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_00]: I got really burned out in my job. I was kind of like a really low point, really questioning

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_00]: everything and I was having even suicidal ideation. I didn't really know my purpose. And the

[00:03:20] [SPEAKER_00]: verse said me two gifts right when I needed it. That started me on my own personal healing journey.

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_00]: So one of those was youngy and psychology. So I, wife coach people in a lot of different ways

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_00]: but one of the ways that ended getting trained was youngy and life coaching. And the reason was that

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_00]: I came into the healing world. I entered into it through youngy and psychology. It was totally

[00:03:45] [SPEAKER_00]: coincidence. Maybe it wasn't, maybe it was fate. But I started working with the therapist who

[00:03:51] [SPEAKER_00]: is a youngy and psychology. So not a no anything about youngy and psychology. The ego, the shadow,

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_00]: the archetypes prior to that. But she welcomed me into that world and it was deeply healing for me.

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_00]: The other gift that the universe gave me at that time was feminine movement, pole dancing.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_00]: So I had a universal down the one day. I realized that I really wanted to learn how to

[00:04:18] [SPEAKER_00]: hold hands and I don't know where this came from. I just thought that's something fun.

[00:04:22] [SPEAKER_00]: I need something fun to do in my life. I work really hard. It turns out that pole dancing

[00:04:27] [SPEAKER_00]: studio had just opened up in my town about six months earlier. It was the only one

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_00]: where I lived at the time which was Santa Cruz, California. So I started going and

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_00]: the owner of the studio specialized in something called S-Factor. This is a type of

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_00]: feminine movement. It's a movement practice that helps women get in touch with their bodies again.

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_00]: They put it simply. It's the central erotic embodied movement practice that's deeply healing.

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_00]: So at a time in the life when I was struggling with slowing down and seeing my body,

[00:05:01] [SPEAKER_00]: that was exactly what I needed. So anyway, I fear it's later. I being the chronic

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_00]: of a worker that I still was at the time. Unfortunately, I injured my dominant hand, my right hand,

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm using the computer, the mouse, the keyboard, repetitive motion injury. It turned into a full

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_00]: blown issue. I was in disability for eight months. I was really questioning my life at that point

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_00]: and I knew that I needed to turn my life around even more so. So, past morning through some things

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_00]: here but I decided I wanted to become a live coach and I wanted to help people because I was learning

[00:05:41] [SPEAKER_00]: a lot through these really difficult experiences and when I was injured and on disability,

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_00]: that's when I really had to, I mean, I had to stop doing what I was doing this constant work

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_00]: per doctor's order. I was ordered to just stop and so I don't want other people to go through that.

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_00]: And I know that so many people do struggle with, of our extending themselves, of our working,

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_00]: caring a lot of attention in their bodies, having a lot of chronic pain, not knowing how to listen

[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_00]: to their body, especially women, I think. Women, I feel like are really excelling and so many ways

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_00]: across society, more women than men go to college now, we're really moving up and that's

[00:06:24] [SPEAKER_00]: exciting but we're not being taught how to do so while listening to what's happening inside and taking

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_00]: care of ourselves. Speaking to the trauma informed part of what I do was very important to me

[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_00]: that I was trauma informed because when you think about it, we've all experienced some level of trauma,

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_00]: at least developmental trauma growing up as children, we've grew up under the care of imperfect

[00:06:46] [SPEAKER_00]: parents and so we become disconnected from ourselves. This is a spectrum right but it was really important

[00:06:53] [SPEAKER_00]: me to bring that into my practice to meet people where they're at given their background. So

[00:07:00] [SPEAKER_00]: it's concise as I could be, that is my sort of background. So does the trauma informed just means

[00:07:06] [SPEAKER_01]: that as you're coaching people, you become more aware of whatever trauma they've encountered or

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_00]: what does that mean exactly? Being trauma informed can mean a lot of different things, honestly,

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_00]: for me and based on the training that I've had, it's really paying attention to the way in which

[00:07:25] [SPEAKER_00]: people get triggered and if they are having any sort of trauma responses that are taking them out

[00:07:32] [SPEAKER_00]: of their window of tolerance. The window of tolerance is we can all deal with adversity and

[00:07:39] [SPEAKER_00]: triggering experiences but not completely lose connection with ourselves in it. You can be anxious or

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_00]: upset or whatever emotion you might be feeling but the moment that you completely lose contact with

[00:07:51] [SPEAKER_00]: yourself and you're reliving a trauma, that's what they call going outside the window of tolerance.

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm just being trauma informed is being mindful of the way people are showing up,

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_00]: the way that the way in which they're triggered and making sure you're not

[00:08:04] [SPEAKER_00]: re-triving them or having them relive in each traumatic experience. We're very careful with

[00:08:10] [SPEAKER_00]: the way we talk about traumatic experiences so it's really just a lens through which I'm always

[00:08:15] [SPEAKER_01]: working with my clients. Okay, yeah. I know you said like women have a hard time listening to their

[00:08:22] [SPEAKER_01]: bodies so how do we get better at that? I mean we all have aches and pains and do things

[00:08:28] [SPEAKER_01]: and overstress our bodies just like we do our minds but how do we really learn what our body is telling us?

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's a great question. There are a lot of ways one can do this. I mean one way that I

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_00]: came into it was through the movement practice so that was a feminine movement,

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00]: pull-ancing practice but this can also be done if you have like a yoga practice,

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_00]: any type of movement practice where you are being instructed to really slow down and pay attention

[00:08:59] [SPEAKER_00]: to subtle sensations and movements that you're feeling in and around your body.

[00:09:07] [SPEAKER_00]: And when you're doing this consistently, you're really building a muscle to be able to pay

[00:09:11] [SPEAKER_00]: more attention to what you're feeling and sensing because we tend to live in our heads. We

[00:09:16] [SPEAKER_00]: want to decide in the culture where we really value being in your head and the work culture

[00:09:21] [SPEAKER_00]: and the work environment is very much about logical linear thinking and being productive and

[00:09:29] [SPEAKER_00]: it's disintegrated from the body experience. So we're constantly being pulled in that direction.

[00:09:36] [SPEAKER_00]: So having a routine practice where you are really tuning in under the instruction of someone who

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_00]: can really guide you to that like a yoga instructor or any type of mindful movement practice can

[00:09:49] [SPEAKER_00]: really help you. I think that's a great place to start and then the tricky part is making the

[00:09:57] [SPEAKER_00]: bridge from okay I know how to do that one. I'm in this practice, how to do what I'm out in the

[00:10:01] [SPEAKER_00]: real world. So a lot of people, the yoga practice or whatever side load from the rest of their life

[00:10:07] [SPEAKER_00]: so they feel very peaceful and then entwined in when they're in their practice and then they go

[00:10:11] [SPEAKER_00]: to work or they're doing with a family and that all goes out the window. That happens a lot

[00:10:16] [SPEAKER_00]: of that experience too. So the way that I really recommend integrating that more is through reconnecting

[00:10:27] [SPEAKER_00]: micromoments throughout your day okay so it might be just taking 10 to 15 seconds to notice

[00:10:35] [SPEAKER_00]: what you're feeling. To notice that oh I'm feeling a tightness in my neck and shoulders right now

[00:10:40] [SPEAKER_00]: and when feeling some heat move up my chest I think I'm feeling upset right now. Feelings any sort of

[00:10:46] [SPEAKER_00]: tension or pressure or temperature or sensation and just bring your attention to it and then there are

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_00]: all kinds of tools that I teach people to allow you to re-center and regulate your nervous system

[00:11:00] [SPEAKER_00]: and sort of relieve that tension in those sort of typically negative emotion driven feelings

[00:11:08] [SPEAKER_00]: and patterns that we're having in the moment. So that's the other piece too it is taking these

[00:11:13] [SPEAKER_00]: little micromoments and doing using tools, noticing what you're noticing first and then using a

[00:11:18] [SPEAKER_00]: whole that's in to re-enline because if you think about it as you're moving throughout your day

[00:11:23] [SPEAKER_00]: I like to think of it as it's been described to me this way it's not my metaphor but you have a

[00:11:28] [SPEAKER_00]: stress bucket and throughout the day you're slowly filling up your stress bucket right and then by

[00:11:32] [SPEAKER_00]: the end of the day it's like over-feeling why it's like spilling over and that's when you're really

[00:11:36] [SPEAKER_00]: just like at your wits end. But we can take moments very brief moments to kind of empty it out

[00:11:45] [SPEAKER_00]: empty it out, empty it out, re-enlining, re-sintering and it's actually when done a certain way

[00:11:53] [SPEAKER_00]: it reshapes your nervous system and actually rewires your brain when it comes to your stress patterns

[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_00]: and how you're showing up and how you get stressed out with that looks like what that feels like.

[00:12:05] [SPEAKER_01]: So very powerful ways to work with the body. What if we're part of our own stress? Like there's a

[00:12:12] [SPEAKER_01]: lot of people that talk about being anxious anymore I hear it a lot or a lot of us have

[00:12:17] [SPEAKER_01]: that inner critic as we call it that constantly saying negative things to yourself which only adds

[00:12:23] [SPEAKER_01]: to your stress. But so what if we're part of the problem can we change that behavior that thinking?

[00:12:30] [SPEAKER_00]: So what do you wish all of our patterns stress patterns coping strategies whether you struggle

[00:12:36] [SPEAKER_00]: with anxiety, avoidance procrastination or you're like an overdue or I always fell into this

[00:12:43] [SPEAKER_00]: camp that overdue or the over-prepare the over worker. There's the whole spectrum of

[00:12:49] [SPEAKER_00]: different coping strategies that we have. So these are unconscious. These are automated.

[00:12:57] [SPEAKER_00]: These are involuntary patterns that we typically picked up in childhood that went

[00:13:02] [SPEAKER_00]: to protect us in one way or another and they become maladaptive as you grow into adulthood.

[00:13:07] [SPEAKER_00]: But the initial onset would say anxiety or initial onset of an impulse to procrastinate and to

[00:13:14] [SPEAKER_00]: disengage from something that may be uncomfortable or the initial onset of feeling flash of

[00:13:20] [SPEAKER_00]: anger over something. That is involuntary and that is not your fault, one, and quote it's not like a

[00:13:26] [SPEAKER_00]: personal failure that we have these patterns in our nervous system. We do however tend to make them worse

[00:13:38] [SPEAKER_00]: when it happens because we haven't been taught how to respond to these patterns in the way that

[00:13:47] [SPEAKER_00]: actually can change them. We haven't been taught how to squash anxiety, the first sign that we're

[00:13:54] [SPEAKER_00]: having our body. Instead, we feed into it and we spiral into these patterns and do play them out.

[00:14:01] [SPEAKER_00]: And the more you practice feeling anxious and the more you practice quote and quote

[00:14:05] [SPEAKER_00]: getting upset in the way that you do or the coping in the way that you do, you are just

[00:14:11] [SPEAKER_00]: deepening those grooves of those neural pathways. So you just become more likely to keep doing that.

[00:14:17] [SPEAKER_00]: So we do perpetuate the problem but I always tell people it's not really your fault because

[00:14:21] [SPEAKER_00]: you probably haven't been taught any differently. And so a lot of the work that I do is around

[00:14:26] [SPEAKER_00]: teaching people how to respond differently to these patterns that we bring with us,

[00:14:31] [SPEAKER_00]: these habits that we bring into adulthood that we pretty much developed in childhood.

[00:14:37] [SPEAKER_01]: So for the neurological part of it is almost like a physical interrupt. Like I've heard of tapping

[00:14:43] [SPEAKER_01]: or breath work or you physically stop yourself and you interrupt whatever that pattern that you

[00:14:51] [SPEAKER_00]: use. Yes, so you mentioned two, two, the tools that I do with people and there are many others.

[00:14:59] [SPEAKER_00]: So yes, interrupting or intercepting the pattern in real time with a tool that is simple,

[00:15:06] [SPEAKER_00]: easy to remember and doesn't take very long to use. That is honestly the holy grail of

[00:15:12] [SPEAKER_00]: changing your patterns because no one needs anything that's complicated, hard to remember,

[00:15:18] [SPEAKER_00]: takes a long time to do. Right. So these patterns that when they're showing up,

[00:15:24] [SPEAKER_00]: what we can do, how we can self-direct our own change, self-direct rewiring the brain and the

[00:15:30] [SPEAKER_00]: nervous system is interrupting. Think of it as you have this neural pathway, the one that's like,

[00:15:36] [SPEAKER_00]: oh I feel anxious every time it's time for me to speak up in the work meeting, right? Or this is

[00:15:42] [SPEAKER_00]: a neural pathway of feeling wanting to procrastinate when it comes to doing something important,

[00:15:48] [SPEAKER_00]: that I know I need to be doing right? Right. So when you're having these I wanted patterns

[00:15:53] [SPEAKER_00]: you interrupt them, you intercept them by using a tool such as tapping or breath work or many others

[00:16:01] [SPEAKER_00]: that redirects the pathway and it forces that neural pathway to do something different. And if you

[00:16:07] [SPEAKER_00]: this for the repetition your brain has no other option but to rewire itself because

[00:16:14] [SPEAKER_00]: anything you do with repetition, thinking a certain way, feeling a certain way, behaving a certain

[00:16:19] [SPEAKER_00]: way, everything is malleable. Everything can be changed because our systems or nervous system

[00:16:26] [SPEAKER_00]: are neuroplastic, meaning they learn and they adapt and they change. No matter what it is

[00:16:34] [SPEAKER_01]: it's very exciting work to know this. It sounds if I'm understanding correctly it sounds like the first

[00:16:41] [SPEAKER_01]: step is just becoming more aware of what your patterns are. Sure absolutely. And then learning

[00:16:50] [SPEAKER_01]: hell with your help or however learning how to interrupt that pattern. Yes that's correct. Right.

[00:16:57] [SPEAKER_00]: At at its most basic you could take this framework, I teach it in a workshop that I do and if you

[00:17:03] [SPEAKER_00]: knew nothing else and you just had this you could create so much change in the way that you're

[00:17:08] [SPEAKER_00]: showing up even if these are patterns you've had your entire life. So it's really huge and this is

[00:17:14] [SPEAKER_00]: thanks to the latest and neuroscience that's been given to us from the past 10, 15, 20 years.

[00:17:21] [SPEAKER_01]: So how do you do it like you mentioned being an a meeting and you get anxious before you speak up

[00:17:26] [SPEAKER_01]: which I have a meeting I have to present every week and I always fill that dread. Sure. Yes.

[00:17:34] [SPEAKER_01]: So how do you be tapping your breath work without the other 30 people realizing what you're

[00:17:39] [SPEAKER_00]: doing? Yes. You bring up a good point and I always mention this too because it would be

[00:17:43] [SPEAKER_00]: weird if some of you start tapping on your face in the middle of a work meeting and people are

[00:17:47] [SPEAKER_00]: staring at you like what is that? So there are some very subtle and conspicuous tools that you can

[00:17:52] [SPEAKER_00]: use for something like that. I love to recommend a breathing exercise. There's a couple of different

[00:17:59] [SPEAKER_00]: ones you can do so for example one of the tools that I teach people has to do with bringing your

[00:18:06] [SPEAKER_00]: full awareness to one sensation in in in around your body and this is using up all of your working

[00:18:13] [SPEAKER_00]: memory resources so that you're completely focused on one thing and not that other thing that's

[00:18:18] [SPEAKER_00]: stressing you out and it helps redirect those neural pathways so with the breathing one that you can

[00:18:24] [SPEAKER_00]: do is just breathing at your normal rhythm start to notice the temperature of the air moving in your

[00:18:33] [SPEAKER_00]: nose as you inhale and then noticing the temperature of the air as it comes out of your nose on your

[00:18:39] [SPEAKER_00]: exhale and notice how they're slightly slightly different. You have to really pay attention to notice

[00:18:46] [SPEAKER_00]: okay so that that distraction from what was bothering you but it does so in the way that

[00:18:51] [SPEAKER_00]: really recent or is you so you can do that one you could do that for a few cycles another one

[00:18:57] [SPEAKER_00]: is this is actually navy seals technique called box breathing which they use to prevent a panic attack

[00:19:04] [SPEAKER_00]: when you're in combat but it can be used on any level of stress or anxiety you're having

[00:19:08] [SPEAKER_00]: you basically breathe in for a count of four so you count four as you inhale and when you reach the

[00:19:15] [SPEAKER_00]: top of it inhale you hold for four and then you exhale for four and you can do that as many times as

[00:19:23] [SPEAKER_00]: you need to and not also causes a hard stop with whatever stress pattern that is showing up.

[00:19:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Wow yeah so I read where you also work with hypnosis. Yes, is that to interrupt the thought pattern

[00:19:38] [SPEAKER_00]: is that what you get or hypnosis helps build new neural pathways. So basically hypnosis is a focused

[00:19:47] [SPEAKER_00]: a hyper focus state of awareness while being deeply relaxed. Right so basically when you're in

[00:19:54] [SPEAKER_00]: hypnosis you're completely aware of everything that's going around you there's no mind control happening

[00:19:58] [SPEAKER_00]: if you're under a ethical hypnosis train of train the person and so basically hypnosis can be used

[00:20:05] [SPEAKER_00]: to grow a lot of different things. One of the typical hypnosis meditations I do with people is

[00:20:11] [SPEAKER_00]: I help them drop into an acc state and then I say okay now picture yourself in that scenario

[00:20:17] [SPEAKER_00]: that we've probably been talking about already where you had been feeling anxious to whatever but

[00:20:22] [SPEAKER_00]: now you're just feeling the way you want to feel and so basically at instruct people to

[00:20:27] [SPEAKER_00]: mentally rehearse how they want to be showing up in a specific area of their life.

[00:20:33] [SPEAKER_00]: How do you want to be feeling? How do you want to be behaving like what thoughts are you going to

[00:20:38] [SPEAKER_00]: be having in that situation and I have them mentally rehearse as specifically as possible

[00:20:44] [SPEAKER_00]: very specific scenario. And so basically what you're doing is you're giving the brain something else.

[00:20:50] [SPEAKER_00]: You're giving your brain a scenario that it's not used to experiencing and so for example it could

[00:20:58] [SPEAKER_00]: be giving a speech. It could be the next time you need to speak up and work meeting. You just see

[00:21:02] [SPEAKER_00]: yourself just speaking clearly feeling really confident and you really want to embody the feeling

[00:21:08] [SPEAKER_00]: as you do the hypnosis you want to be feeling the confidence so you picture yourself doing the thing

[00:21:14] [SPEAKER_00]: and amazingly any time you visualize something you're actually using about 90% of the same

[00:21:20] [SPEAKER_00]: neural circuitry as though you're doing the thing. Right. So you're really helping build those

[00:21:25] [SPEAKER_00]: neural pathways and then when you go do the thing in real life because your brain is always

[00:21:30] [SPEAKER_00]: predicting how you're showing up. You've already given something new to base its predictions off.

[00:21:37] [SPEAKER_00]: So you can go into a situation and it just will feel more naturally it feels more natural for you

[00:21:43] [SPEAKER_00]: to be the competent person or whatever it is that you want to be. Right. As I've heard that the

[00:21:49] [SPEAKER_01]: subconscious doesn't know the difference if you do a vivid visualization it can't tell the

[00:21:54] [SPEAKER_01]: difference of whether that's really happening or it's just a visualization. Yes certain parts

[00:22:00] [SPEAKER_00]: of the brain do not know the difference. A lot and lot of the brain doesn't so that's why it's so powerful

[00:22:06] [SPEAKER_00]: to do mental or hurtful and then when you do mental or hurtful and a nice relaxed state through

[00:22:10] [SPEAKER_00]: hypnosis it's even more powerful. It actually decreases the blood flow to the critical

[00:22:16] [SPEAKER_00]: prefrontal cortex, the critical thinking part of your mind the part of your mind that goes this

[00:22:21] [SPEAKER_00]: at real this is an actually happening and then the unconscious is able to get through more

[00:22:25] [SPEAKER_01]: more easily. So just trying to understand that we train our nervous system to react in a certain

[00:22:31] [SPEAKER_01]: way or as our nervous system causing us to react in a certain way. It works in both directions.

[00:22:38] [SPEAKER_00]: So our nervous system carries lots of patterns but our brain which is part of the

[00:22:43] [SPEAKER_00]: nervous system is always predicting how we're supposed to be showing up based on how we've always

[00:22:47] [SPEAKER_00]: shown up and then we have these different tools that we can use to interrupt those patterns to

[00:22:53] [SPEAKER_00]: teach the nervous system something new, something different. And then when you do that with

[00:22:57] [SPEAKER_00]: repetition the nervous system because it's a whizz listening and ping-tension and adapting

[00:23:02] [SPEAKER_00]: it will start changing. And then your new natural default way of being is going to be the

[00:23:10] [SPEAKER_00]: thing that you want to be more confident, more calm or relaxed, whatever it may be. Okay that's good

[00:23:16] [SPEAKER_01]: yeah. Oh, does it matter if we have a person that says well I have no self discipline whatsoever

[00:23:23] [SPEAKER_01]: or I can't adhere to that does that factor in it all? Yes yes oh yes in terms of I had no self

[00:23:31] [SPEAKER_00]: discipline to do the work to help change my patterns or. Is that they've had a history of not

[00:23:38] [SPEAKER_01]: I guess doing the work or not sticking to a program? A lot of us struggle with self discipline,

[00:23:44] [SPEAKER_00]: a lot of us will power, we only have so much will power. I mean if you try something new and it's

[00:23:51] [SPEAKER_00]: a lot of work and you're not really feeling the results very quickly we give up. That's just

[00:23:57] [SPEAKER_00]: human nature. So what's really transformative in my changing about this framework of how to

[00:24:04] [SPEAKER_00]: interrupt the nervous system in the moment in these micro moments it is the most simple easy way to

[00:24:13] [SPEAKER_00]: change any pattern you name it. Even the lazy person could do it honestly that's really important

[00:24:19] [SPEAKER_00]: that this is simple and easy I can't stress that enough because if you had to do transcendental

[00:24:25] [SPEAKER_00]: meditation every day for 30 minutes most of us would never get there right? That's great work

[00:24:30] [SPEAKER_00]: it's important meditation we have all the research showing that meditation is so beneficial but a

[00:24:36] [SPEAKER_00]: lot of us struggle to commit to something of that nature. This framework that this other framework

[00:24:41] [SPEAKER_01]: sharing is as easy as it gets. So is that the secret because like I know a lot of people

[00:24:50] [SPEAKER_01]: that they can make the change they can maintain the change for a while like say they even get the

[00:24:56] [SPEAKER_01]: results they want and they go on for a while it may even be a couple years but then you see

[00:25:02] [SPEAKER_01]: them start to revert back so how do you maintain it I guess would be my question is it because

[00:25:08] [SPEAKER_01]: these tools are so simple you just go right back to what you know works or you do yes you find the

[00:25:15] [SPEAKER_00]: tools that you like the most some people love tapping for instance some people don't that's fine there's

[00:25:21] [SPEAKER_00]: plenty of other ways to interrupt a pattern in the moment and once you do this with repetition now

[00:25:27] [SPEAKER_00]: in the beginning there's there's a little bit more work you have to interrupt your patterns a

[00:25:37] [SPEAKER_00]: while you don't need the tools as often you don't need them as frequently as much because

[00:25:42] [SPEAKER_00]: your patterns are already changing it's just feeling more natural if you to do what it is that

[00:25:48] [SPEAKER_00]: you want to do in the way that you want to and feel the way you want to about it and when you feel

[00:25:52] [SPEAKER_00]: in if something interrupts that if a new event a life event happens and that kind of

[00:25:59] [SPEAKER_00]: those you all balance you just go back to your tools but what we're true in the first place

[00:26:04] [SPEAKER_01]: okay yeah you mentioned a meditation is that part of your toolbox that is speak or is that

[00:26:11] [SPEAKER_00]: outside of the of yours I don't do meditation when people I do visualizations and hypnosis with people

[00:26:19] [SPEAKER_00]: I give them I walk people through meditative like visualizations where they're actually picturing

[00:26:27] [SPEAKER_00]: something and they're digging for more insider a deeper wisdom that they didn't have access to

[00:26:32] [SPEAKER_00]: part two so yeah meditation isn't really a tool that I necessarily work with people with

[00:26:39] [SPEAKER_01]: okay so I was just curious yeah yeah so how far do you do for the person that likes to self-savitude

[00:26:47] [SPEAKER_01]: right can you get to the root of that with this absolutely you do it in the same way

[00:26:55] [SPEAKER_00]: using the same framework that I've been mentioning so there are a lot of different types of self-savotage

[00:27:02] [SPEAKER_00]: being an over-controlling type being a people pleaser being a perfectionist

[00:27:07] [SPEAKER_00]: being someone who avoids pain and conflict being someone who is constantly over analyzing everything

[00:27:15] [SPEAKER_00]: let's say there's nine different types of self-savotage and we all fit into one or the other

[00:27:20] [SPEAKER_00]: and basically once you know where your patterns are, I've been able to identify with those self-savotage

[00:27:25] [SPEAKER_00]: patterns are and that's part of the work and I might do with someone if they're not quite sure

[00:27:29] [SPEAKER_00]: then you work with those moments when they show up in your day when you're in your job and

[00:27:36] [SPEAKER_00]: you are really upset with someone because they made a mistake in your over-controlling self-savotaging

[00:27:42] [SPEAKER_00]: part is wanting to get mad at them and get upset and create a dramatic situation that's not necessary

[00:27:51] [SPEAKER_00]: that is a moment when you can interrupt using one of these tools you can use the

[00:27:57] [SPEAKER_00]: rest that I mentioned the tapping honestly whatever it is that people feel most comfortable with

[00:28:03] [SPEAKER_00]: I teach all these different tools and you just do that and you do that repetitively it doesn't

[00:28:08] [SPEAKER_00]: take very long for you to start noticing that you're feeling differently in those situations

[00:28:14] [SPEAKER_00]: because we've seen some studies working with people with OCD actually this one's an interesting one

[00:28:21] [SPEAKER_00]: people who have OCD which have they have anxiety very severe anxiety driven

[00:28:25] [SPEAKER_00]: compulsive behaviors and using a kind of similar framework that I mentioned where you're

[00:28:31] [SPEAKER_00]: interrupting the pattern in the moment your brain changes and they can see that through brain scans

[00:28:36] [SPEAKER_00]: and it only takes three interventions before your brain is starting to rewire itself

[00:28:43] [SPEAKER_00]: so if you can find three moments where you're having this old pattern and self-savotaging behavior

[00:28:49] [SPEAKER_00]: and you can interrupt it remember to use the tool and then use the tool and you keep doing that

[00:28:57] [SPEAKER_00]: again these neural pathways are being redirected in the brain is paying attention when you're doing

[00:29:03] [SPEAKER_00]: something different and it's completely reshaping the way that you're showing up.

[00:29:09] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah and that's really interesting because I never thought of self-savotaging that way

[00:29:13] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean you always when you hear the words you always think that we're purposely doing something

[00:29:19] [SPEAKER_01]: against or not for our own benefit but really it sounds like it's just a pattern that we've

[00:29:26] [SPEAKER_01]: for whatever reason picked up. Absolutely we're just triggered to go into that pattern and it ends

[00:29:33] [SPEAKER_01]: up not being for benefits. Yeah so if we can interrupt that pattern then we can stop the self-savotage

[00:29:41] [SPEAKER_00]: interesting. Yeah self-savotaging patterns virtually all of them probably started in childhood and they were

[00:29:48] [SPEAKER_00]: meant to protect you in one way or another like the people pleasing is a very common type of self-savotage

[00:29:55] [SPEAKER_00]: and you may have learned in childhood that it was not okay to upset someone or to disappoint someone

[00:30:02] [SPEAKER_00]: that didn't feel safe in your body so you learn to be the people pleaser and then you carry

[00:30:07] [SPEAKER_00]: bring that with you carry that with you into adulthood and it's maladaptive at that point.

[00:30:12] [SPEAKER_00]: It may have protected you in childhood from being hurt but in adulthood you're hurting yourself

[00:30:17] [SPEAKER_00]: and it's not like you're fundamentally broken it's just an unconscious pattern that keeps

[00:30:22] [SPEAKER_00]: getting turned on because these neural pathways get triggered in certain situations that go back to

[00:30:29] [SPEAKER_00]: the childhood and solve part of the same neural network. Right and it's interesting to think

[00:30:34] [SPEAKER_01]: that we can be trapped so to speak in these patterns for 30, 40, 50 years but yes sounds relatively

[00:30:42] [SPEAKER_01]: simple. I mean it takes some work obviously but sure yes but it's not outside of the bounds of

[00:30:49] [SPEAKER_01]: doable you can still break those patterns. Absolutely because people pleasing yeah is a very tough one

[00:30:56] [SPEAKER_01]: I think I mean a lot of learning the people pleasing as we go along. A lot of us do we all have an

[00:31:02] [SPEAKER_00]: innate need for belonging and feeling accepted. Right that's just part of being a human

[00:31:08] [SPEAKER_00]: and then sometimes I get taken too far in that turns into the people pleasing so but yes we are

[00:31:16] [SPEAKER_00]: we know because of neuroscience that were or brains or neuroplastic. Their patterns

[00:31:22] [SPEAKER_00]: the way of brain is wired is not fixed okay it's always adapting and changing and when you know

[00:31:29] [SPEAKER_00]: how to intentionally reshape and redirect old patterns then you are causing those changes to

[00:31:37] [SPEAKER_00]: happen at a that their root level and it's much more simple than people realize and because

[00:31:44] [SPEAKER_00]: this neuroscience and the way that you we apply it is still relatively new it's not well-known yet

[00:31:50] [SPEAKER_00]: and so that's why I'm here talking about it trying to get the word out doing workshops and

[00:31:55] [SPEAKER_00]: let us say talking about it because it's so exciting. That is exciting and thank you can

[00:32:01] [SPEAKER_01]: rid yourself of these things you just accept as a part of you. Right right. So tell us about your

[00:32:09] [SPEAKER_00]: workshops what kind of workshops do you do? Yeah so I have one called Conquering anxiety

[00:32:15] [SPEAKER_00]: and that's about managing stress and anxiety and I teach this framework that I've been mentioning

[00:32:19] [SPEAKER_00]: how to interrupt and intercept your patterns in the moment and I teach different tools that people can

[00:32:25] [SPEAKER_00]: use in the workshop so that by the time people walk out of the door they know exactly what tools to

[00:32:32] [SPEAKER_00]: use and when to use them and it's all completely easily easy to remember so that's very much

[00:32:39] [SPEAKER_00]: a stress management workshop. The other one I do is called deprogramming people pleasing because that's

[00:32:45] [SPEAKER_00]: such a big one and I've worked with a lot of people pleasers and I have a special place in my heart

[00:32:49] [SPEAKER_00]: for them. So in this one we're talking about the unconscious patterns around people pleasing

[00:32:57] [SPEAKER_00]: and just because you have the tendency of people pleasers that doesn't mean that's not who you truly

[00:33:02] [SPEAKER_00]: are and it's not your personal fault and it's not a failure on your part that you struggle with this.

[00:33:09] [SPEAKER_00]: It's simply a learned pattern you picked up probably in childhood and now we're going to do

[00:33:19] [SPEAKER_00]: self hypnosis in this workshop. That's the main tool that I give participants so they can walk away with

[00:33:25] [SPEAKER_00]: so they learn how to walk themselves through a nice progressive or Maxerve so they feel nice

[00:33:32] [SPEAKER_00]: or an X and then they visualize how they want to be showing up speaking their truths to people who

[00:33:38] [SPEAKER_00]: they never speak their truth to feeling confident having that conversation with their boss or their

[00:33:43] [SPEAKER_00]: partner or whoever that they haven't had because they're afraid of that conflict, they're afraid

[00:33:48] [SPEAKER_00]: of disappointing people and upsetting people and so I give that to them as another way of

[00:33:54] [SPEAKER_00]: getting building those new neural pathways to make it more natural for them to be able to

[00:34:02] [SPEAKER_01]: be themselves and not self abandoned anymore. It seems to me like a lot of these patterns that we do

[00:34:12] [SPEAKER_01]: could be or are based on fear at some point whether it was in childhood or wherever we picked it up

[00:34:18] [SPEAKER_01]: but fear is hard to overcome right I mean you have fear of rejection, fear of being abandoned.

[00:34:25] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah so yeah so is it? Does it work in the same way? It's just reprogramming

[00:34:30] [SPEAKER_00]: what we're doing even though it's fear based? Yes you bring up a good point most everything comes

[00:34:38] [SPEAKER_00]: back down to fear and some childhood we learn who we're allowed to be and who we're not allowed to

[00:34:44] [SPEAKER_00]: be or we're allowed to do what we're not allowed to do. And we pick up very quickly what we can do in

[00:34:51] [SPEAKER_00]: order to feel safest and feel worthy and then everything else that is not okay gets pushed away.

[00:34:57] [SPEAKER_00]: I do out of shadow work with my clients too so the parts of yourself that you abandoned and

[00:35:02] [SPEAKER_00]: childhood you push it away into your shadow and your unconscious and then you just act out these

[00:35:07] [SPEAKER_00]: patterns until you do your inner work and all this can be reprogrammed. All of this this is the

[00:35:14] [SPEAKER_00]: framework this is what this is doing it's we program your unconscious patterns that have been there

[00:35:20] [SPEAKER_01]: since the very beginning. Yeah I was going to ask about shadow work because I wasn't sure

[00:35:24] [SPEAKER_01]: with what that help. Yes so it's just we've tucked away in our subconscious.

[00:35:31] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah I think of it as like a receptacle in your unconscious and it's

[00:35:35] [SPEAKER_00]: protecting and safeguarding all the parts of yourself that don't feel okay being out in the light.

[00:35:42] [SPEAKER_00]: So if you're a people pleaser and you learned that it was not okay to ask or to have needs

[00:35:51] [SPEAKER_00]: to express needs because that's going to inconvenience other people then the needed part of your

[00:35:56] [SPEAKER_00]: self might get pushed into your shadow. So you find yourself having a really hard time articulating

[00:36:02] [SPEAKER_00]: your needs expressing your needs feeling safe to ask or help to ask for support to be a person

[00:36:09] [SPEAKER_00]: who has needs and you won't even realize that it's totally really it's just totally unconscious.

[00:36:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean you might have some awareness that you have a problem but in the moment

[00:36:20] [SPEAKER_00]: it's just automatically playing out these patterns and so the shadow I like to think of the

[00:36:27] [SPEAKER_00]: shadow is like protecting those parts of yourself that didn't feel safe when you were young

[00:36:32] [SPEAKER_00]: and that is just waiting for you to bring them back out to reclaim them so to speak.

[00:36:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Reclaim all of your abandoned parts because they're just there waiting for you to know this.

[00:36:43] [SPEAKER_00]: A lot of people come into shadow work around mid-life, mid-life crises a lot of that has to do with

[00:36:48] [SPEAKER_01]: what's been pushed away in the shadow. Is it harder for someone that say

[00:36:53] [SPEAKER_01]: suffered physical abuse and that that caused all their fears versus someone that if mom and dad just said

[00:37:00] [SPEAKER_01]: don't do that, don't be that way. I mean to me it's seen if there's a physical threat in childhood

[00:37:05] [SPEAKER_01]: it seems like it would be so much of a stronger trigger or stronger reaction that would be

[00:37:13] [SPEAKER_00]: overcome. Physical emotional abuse can feel as dangerous in the body as physical abuse.

[00:37:23] [SPEAKER_00]: But at least that's my understanding your brain doesn't know that being rejected socially

[00:37:29] [SPEAKER_00]: isn't going to kill you so in a way it's almost it can be almost as detrimental as physical

[00:37:36] [SPEAKER_00]: so emotional abuse can be if it's really bad it can be trauma traumatic level abuse and so

[00:37:44] [SPEAKER_00]: then you're dealing with your dealing with trauma you're dealing with trauma responses.

[00:37:49] [SPEAKER_00]: The trauma responses are also learned patterns in your nervous system, their habits in your brain,

[00:37:55] [SPEAKER_00]: their neural pathways just like less severe patterns that you have but you just want to be a

[00:38:01] [SPEAKER_00]: little extra careful dealing with trauma responses making sure you're not retry going

[00:38:05] [SPEAKER_00]: and so hopefully that answers your question. So do you point out to clients like

[00:38:12] [SPEAKER_01]: what their triggers are or do you take them down a path where they end up seeing it themselves

[00:38:17] [SPEAKER_00]: or both or how does that work? Yeah so what clients sort of like come to be in

[00:38:23] [SPEAKER_00]: having an idea what their triggers are we also we can also discover more of their triggers through

[00:38:30] [SPEAKER_00]: shadow work or looking at their different types of cell sabotage so we have our inner

[00:38:37] [SPEAKER_00]: sabotage and we have different archetypes that live through us the caregiver, the warrior,

[00:38:44] [SPEAKER_00]: the sage we have all these different kind of parts that are competing that have different

[00:38:49] [SPEAKER_00]: interests and different drives and when a part is playing out it's healthy patterns then they

[00:38:54] [SPEAKER_00]: give they bring us gifts and when they're on the opposite into this spectrum they lead us to

[00:38:59] [SPEAKER_00]: sort of self-savotaging patterns and other self-limiting patterns and so I'll do work with

[00:39:05] [SPEAKER_00]: clients where we maybe do a questionnaire and we look at what are the archetypes that are present in

[00:39:10] [SPEAKER_00]: your life, what are the inner sabotage tours, the different types of self-savotage that are

[00:39:15] [SPEAKER_00]: very salient in your life to help identify these patterns based on different types of groupings

[00:39:21] [SPEAKER_00]: that are just commonly universally found across the human race. Okay I'm not as familiar with

[00:39:28] [SPEAKER_01]: archetypes, I have a little bit not as much so it's just a pattern of behavior that you see.

[00:39:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Pretty much yes so the archetypes this kind of this comes from young and psychology so we have

[00:39:42] [SPEAKER_00]: a lot of different archetypes they say there's infinite archetypes and so some of the big common ones

[00:39:47] [SPEAKER_00]: that we have are the warrior this is like the person who's like in the modern day world like

[00:39:55] [SPEAKER_00]: someone who's a professional who's very dedicated to the career very productivity driven works really

[00:40:01] [SPEAKER_00]: hard stands up what they believe in that sort of thing and then you have the caregiver type,

[00:40:06] [SPEAKER_00]: the nurture or the mother and the unhealthy range you see people pleasing patterns showing

[00:40:12] [SPEAKER_00]: up with that archetype and so we all have all the archetypes within us they've been around since

[00:40:18] [SPEAKER_00]: beginning of the human race and some archetypes get water they're exceeds you what they might

[00:40:25] [SPEAKER_00]: get watered when you're young and then they become strong and salient in your life like if you were

[00:40:30] [SPEAKER_00]: taught that a career is important you got to go to college and work hard and make money

[00:40:35] [SPEAKER_00]: then you're probably going to have a strong warrior archetype but then other types might

[00:40:39] [SPEAKER_00]: be neglected they haven't been watered and ideally we want nice balance of all the different

[00:40:45] [SPEAKER_00]: archetypes in our lives so it's really fun to play with the archetypal energies and the gifts that

[00:40:50] [SPEAKER_00]: they bring to us and noticing when an archetype is maybe in balanced and we need to be stored

[00:40:57] [SPEAKER_00]: that balance when we start seeing these negative patterns showing up and it sounds like

[00:41:03] [SPEAKER_01]: it could any archetype could go one way or the other right could be on the negative or the

[00:41:07] [SPEAKER_00]: public absolutely yeah they can have a positive life side in this for the challenging more negative

[00:41:12] [SPEAKER_01]: okay that makes a lot of sense yes so is there anything we haven't talked about today

[00:41:19] [SPEAKER_00]: that you want to make sure the listeners here I did want to mention also I also I'm certified

[00:41:25] [SPEAKER_00]: to teach as factor feminine movement pole dancing it was such an important part of my journey

[00:41:30] [SPEAKER_00]: that I wanted to get certified and bring this practice to other women so I work with women

[00:41:37] [SPEAKER_00]: to teach them a new language a new body language so to speak a way of moving their body that helps

[00:41:45] [SPEAKER_00]: them get in touch with just what they're feeling with their sensing but also

[00:41:50] [SPEAKER_00]: what sort of erotic energies they have inside how their body wants to move following breath

[00:41:56] [SPEAKER_00]: following stretch in as factor we teach this language of the body and then over time through

[00:42:04] [SPEAKER_00]: practices you progress you start moving into free dance and this is where you're really self-expressing

[00:42:10] [SPEAKER_00]: it's like being in a body trans it's like you're totally dropping out of your head in your

[00:42:15] [SPEAKER_00]: inner body and it's just all about feeling your pleasure feeling free to move in the way that you

[00:42:21] [SPEAKER_00]: want to move in a nice safe space with only women there's no one's watching you and so it's very

[00:42:28] [SPEAKER_00]: transformative you feel out of touch with your body if you feel you feel like oh I'm not a sexy person

[00:42:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I feel so square but I want to be I want to get in touch with my sexy side this is a great way to do

[00:42:40] [SPEAKER_01]: it. So how many of your workshops and classes do you offer online versus in person?

[00:42:48] [SPEAKER_00]: This is a great question so I'm actually just about to start offering my workshops online I've been

[00:42:53] [SPEAKER_00]: doing them only in person up until now so people could expect to see some virtual offerings coming

[00:42:59] [SPEAKER_00]: up soon that's for the workshops but also as factor as well okay and where are you located at what's

[00:43:07] [SPEAKER_00]: what's stator oh yes I live in Northern California up in humble counties is really far north okay

[00:43:14] [SPEAKER_01]: I was just curious yeah you're ways away from me. Up on the coast yeah. Yes and where are you Michelle?

[00:43:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Indiana. Okay yes Midwest and I'm originally from Alabama I'm from the deep south that's where I grew up.

[00:43:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay. Is up in California and yeah it's my new home. I'm in a hurry for my journey. Yes yes.

[00:43:37] [SPEAKER_01]: So is there anything else you want to tell us about your coaching programs that you do?

[00:43:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Sure yeah so I do a four month program with people called Unleashed and this is where we do

[00:43:51] [SPEAKER_00]: some shadow work we do archetypal work. We change patterns in your life that's you've been

[00:44:00] [SPEAKER_00]: struggling with any type of emotional behavioral or thought pattern if it's emotional behavioral or

[00:44:07] [SPEAKER_00]: thought or belief pattern then you can pretty much guarantee that this is a nervous system pattern

[00:44:13] [SPEAKER_00]: that's been learned and that this is not a fixed pattern and then it can be changed if you understand

[00:44:19] [SPEAKER_00]: how to interrupt those patterns in your daily life so I teach people that and I also coach people

[00:44:25] [SPEAKER_00]: like when we're actually doing the coaching I walk people or I direct people in the way that's

[00:44:32] [SPEAKER_00]: rewiring the brain to the way that we're talking about the problems that they struggle with.

[00:44:36] [SPEAKER_00]: So we do a lot of deep work just through the conversations that we have as well

[00:44:40] [SPEAKER_00]: and it's just it's about returning to your uninhibited true self because all these patterns are not

[00:44:50] [SPEAKER_00]: who we actually are. We are pure confidence and pure love and pure joy we have an inner authority

[00:44:59] [SPEAKER_00]: and inner knowing that we lose contact with due to the adversity of life the experiences we

[00:45:05] [SPEAKER_00]: have and we're just returning to ourselves we claiming ourselves so it's not shell that's what

[00:45:11] [SPEAKER_01]: my program is all about. So when you do the coaching program for four months you said yes

[00:45:16] [SPEAKER_01]: how deep meat with the person once a week or how how yeah so we meet once a week over zoom

[00:45:22] [SPEAKER_00]: for an hour and then I often give a little bit of homework or some practices some tools

[00:45:29] [SPEAKER_00]: that I want my clients to start using in their daily life okay awesome yeah so it's

[00:45:34] [SPEAKER_01]: if someone's listening and they want to reach out to you or find you where's the best place.

[00:45:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah so you could you go to my website so that's Chrissy Loveman.com, Chrissy with a KKRI SSW

[00:45:47] [SPEAKER_00]: I love man just like it sounds love man.com and I'm on Instagram as well at Chrissy.Loveman

[00:45:55] [SPEAKER_00]: I post on there pretty often and that's where I'm showing off the most these days okay awesome yeah

[00:46:01] [SPEAKER_01]: and make sure all that gets in the show notes too so they can easily pick on it but perfect.

[00:46:07] [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you yeah I want to thank you for being with us today it was very interesting I loved

[00:46:13] [SPEAKER_00]: hearing it so awesome well thanks for having me on here I'm a huge nerd so I love talking

[00:46:19] [SPEAKER_00]: about this stuff so thank you for giving me a platform to speak about it. Absolutely as fascinating

[00:46:25] [SPEAKER_01]: to hear and then to hear things in a whole new way I always love that when I guess speaks

[00:46:30] [SPEAKER_01]: in a different way or makes you think of something in a whole new way it just opens your mind up so

[00:46:36] [SPEAKER_00]: yeah absolutely truly thank you. Thank you yeah it's been great thank you Michelle I appreciate it.

[00:46:43] [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you bye bye. As we wrap up today's episode I hope Chrissy sharing her knowledge

[00:46:50] [SPEAKER_01]: experience and wisdom has helped you in some way. I thought it was very interesting how Chrissy

[00:46:55] [SPEAKER_01]: is pulled dancing as a way to get in touch with her body again. The main thing that I gathered

[00:47:00] [SPEAKER_01]: from our conversation though is that you can intentionally interrupt trauma and stress patterns

[00:47:05] [SPEAKER_01]: and start changing how you respond to them regardless of what method you use to do that

[00:47:12] [SPEAKER_01]: and another thing that stood out to me is when Chrissy mentioned that there are nine types of self-sabotage

[00:47:17] [SPEAKER_01]: first of all who knew I certainly didn't I'm gonna have to investigate that more but regardless

[00:47:23] [SPEAKER_01]: she said we can do pattern interrupts on self-sabotage also and change how we would normally respond.

[00:47:30] [SPEAKER_01]: So what stood out to you I would love to hear from you as always I hope this episode helps at

[00:47:35] [SPEAKER_01]: least one person and with that I hope you have a blessed week my friend.

[00:47:43] [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for listening to the beauty in the mess if you enjoyed what you heard please share it

[00:47:47] [SPEAKER_01]: with a friend and if you haven't already please subscribe rate and review this podcast on your favorite

[00:47:53] [SPEAKER_01]: pod player if you have any questions or comments any topic ideas you'd like to hear about

[00:47:58] [SPEAKER_01]: or you think you would be a great guest on the show you can reach me directly at the beauty in

[00:48:03] [SPEAKER_01]: the mess.com thanks for listening