Ep. 70 Rediscovering Your Creative Vision with Celia Barsby

[00:00:06] I'm Michele Simms and this is The Beauty in the Mess, a community where people who crave

[00:00:11] a shift in mindset, personal growth and connection to like-minded people come together to start

[00:00:16] rewriting their stories.

[00:00:17] Through engaging, honest and insightful conversations, the show will help you embrace the mess to

[00:00:23] recognize the meanings and the lessons it holds and discover its hidden treasures

[00:00:27] to help you start making a mindset shift.

[00:00:30] Let's listen, learn and reclaim who we were meant to be.

[00:00:33] Hi friend, welcome to The Beauty in the Mess.

[00:00:36] For this episode I'm welcoming Celia Barsby to the show.

[00:00:41] Celia is a creative visionary.

[00:00:43] She creates a safe space for women seeking inner joy and connection to their own wisdom.

[00:00:48] Find your passion for living in a creative flow with the universe and recalibrate your

[00:00:53] life so that it becomes vibrant and magical and full of self-discovery and purpose.

[00:00:57] Your soul structures will be revealed to you in a powerful and fun, creative ways through

[00:01:03] various transformational tools enabling you to reclaim your soul's purpose so that you

[00:01:09] can flourish and grow.

[00:01:11] Celia is an Amazon number one bestselling author with her book The Garden Party, reawakening

[00:01:16] to your soul's purpose.

[00:01:18] She truly believes that your deepest wound holds your greatest medicine.

[00:01:22] For Celia she wanted to find meaning and purpose in her life again and now she

[00:01:27] wants to help other women do the same.

[00:01:29] So without further ado, let's dive right into today's conversation.

[00:01:34] Hi Celia, welcome to The Beauty in the Mess.

[00:01:36] I'm so glad to have you with me today.

[00:01:39] Thank you, thank you so much for inviting me, thank you.

[00:01:42] Absolutely.

[00:01:43] Now, I know you're a creative visionary but before we get started can you kind

[00:01:47] of explain what that really means to those of us that might be a little fuzzy about

[00:01:52] it?

[00:01:55] Yes, absolutely.

[00:01:55] So the way I describe what I do is I bring a creative energy to women who want to see

[00:02:06] things differently.

[00:02:07] So let's think visionary, it's you know if we engage with our own vision of where

[00:02:13] we want to go, what we want to do or who we want to be but let's bring a creative

[00:02:19] feminine energy to that and say well there's no limits because we can bring that creativity

[00:02:26] and I'm using that term in a sense of we are all the creators of our own reality.

[00:02:35] So I'm not focusing on art, I thought for a long time you had to be an artist if

[00:02:41] you were going to be creative.

[00:02:42] So that creative visionary is just bringing all of the ideas.

[00:02:47] Let's think outside the box and that's what I help women to do.

[00:02:51] I like that.

[00:02:52] So what led you down the path to become a creative visionary and to help women the

[00:02:57] way you do?

[00:02:58] Well I think my story really starts as a child when I was living a very idyllic

[00:03:05] childhood.

[00:03:06] I was an only child and my dad died very suddenly when I was only age 10.

[00:03:12] Oh wow, I'm sorry.

[00:03:14] And I talk about your deepest wound is your greatest medicine and that

[00:03:20] childhood wound actually enabled me to do a lot of inner work, a lot of deep work.

[00:03:29] I love your phrase we talk about the mess, the shabby, the sort of slightly yucky parts

[00:03:36] of life and trauma of course falls into that.

[00:03:40] This is how we move through and keep coming back to that vision, keep coming

[00:03:47] back to the who am I?

[00:03:49] Who do I want to be?

[00:03:51] And it's when we experience the messy bits that that allows us to really

[00:03:57] shape our lives.

[00:03:59] So what happened for me was a rather messy journey through adolescents and

[00:04:08] seeing the world through a filter of childhood bereavement.

[00:04:14] Now I'm going back a bit because in those days there was no such thing as

[00:04:20] child counselling or any sort of help like that.

[00:04:24] So I created my own filters of how to move through life.

[00:04:30] Vision is really coming through, I think because you've brought that energy

[00:04:34] of visionary into this conversation it's how do I see myself?

[00:04:38] How do I see the world?

[00:04:40] And the filters that I created for myself were as an only child.

[00:04:47] It was all my fault, it's my responsibility.

[00:04:51] I now have sole responsibility for looking after my mum.

[00:04:55] That was a wound that I picked up.

[00:04:58] Another filter was the people you love will leave you.

[00:05:04] I lost my dad and my nana in only a matter of weeks.

[00:05:08] And so that then creates this filter through which I see all of the

[00:05:15] relationships that I started to develop as an adolescent and as a young woman.

[00:05:21] I didn't want anybody to get really close to me.

[00:05:25] I didn't want to connect in that way because they're going to leave me.

[00:05:29] And so that then creates this distorted vision that we start to see.

[00:05:38] And so I think how do I get to this place is really by going through the

[00:05:45] experience of major depression when I was 40, which the world calls breakdown.

[00:05:50] And I like to reframe that as breakthrough because that's where in that

[00:05:57] messy place of depression, that's where I started to really understand what had

[00:06:03] happened to me, what my experiences were and start to reshape that.

[00:06:07] And that brings me to where I am today.

[00:06:10] So how do you reshape it?

[00:06:12] I mean, to the extent that a lot of people get in messy places,

[00:06:16] but they never recover from it, so to speak, they're stuck.

[00:06:21] So how do you change that mindset or that vision to get out of it?

[00:06:27] I think you pick up a lot of tools along the way.

[00:06:30] The tools are there and the place you get to is you are sitting in so much mess.

[00:06:37] I like to use analogies from the garden and a really muddy sticky place.

[00:06:44] And you go, I don't want to be here anymore.

[00:06:46] I want to get out.

[00:06:47] I want to get out of this place that I am in.

[00:06:51] And part of that is seeking support.

[00:06:54] I did go to counselling at age 40.

[00:06:57] So it's seeking that help, seeking that support from others.

[00:07:02] And then really as you begin that journey, as again, that garden analogy of you start

[00:07:09] to go down this pathway, then you get increased self-awareness and you go,

[00:07:16] well, do I like that?

[00:07:18] What do I want to do with my life?

[00:07:20] Being open and I can really strongly remember being in this conversation with somebody

[00:07:27] and saying, I don't want to go back there.

[00:07:30] That place of being the good girl, do as you're told, keep quiet,

[00:07:37] don't have an opinion about anything, a real sense of being trapped.

[00:07:42] I went, I'm not going back there.

[00:07:45] And she said to me, what would you like to do?

[00:07:49] And I went, I don't know.

[00:07:52] I don't know who I am.

[00:07:54] I don't know who I am.

[00:07:55] I've got this blank piece of paper, this blank slate.

[00:07:59] Who do I want to be and create?

[00:08:02] And we started that journey of increased self-awareness.

[00:08:06] Well, what do I like?

[00:08:07] I went, you know what?

[00:08:08] I like going out for coffee.

[00:08:10] And when we started to explore that, what did I like about that?

[00:08:16] Over the years, I developed an interest in creativity through that paint medium.

[00:08:25] Now, not as an artist, but as somebody who moves energy with color.

[00:08:30] So the sort of art journaling that I do is very much its intentional creativity.

[00:08:38] Let's write, let's say what's going on right now?

[00:08:41] How do I feel?

[00:08:43] How do I want to feel and how do I feel right now?

[00:08:46] And how am I going to get there?

[00:08:47] And we use color and image to actually use that as a tool.

[00:08:53] So I think if you're in that place, as I'm sure many of your listeners are tuning in

[00:08:59] because they're feeling in the mess and you go, how do I get out?

[00:09:04] I would say look around you and see the support is already there.

[00:09:10] The support, the people that you need are there and the tools are there and just

[00:09:16] reconnect with your inner child and just really explore what does it look like to play?

[00:09:23] If you're sitting in the mud and you're a small child, small children have no problem playing

[00:09:28] in the mud. They have a lot of fun in those muddy places.

[00:09:33] And we've forgotten how to play. I talk in my book in the garden party about

[00:09:38] feeling in that place where I was going through another breakthrough,

[00:09:44] another dark night of the soul.

[00:09:47] And I had that sound and I went, I don't want to go there again.

[00:09:51] It was really muddy and slimy.

[00:09:54] And you mean I've got more to explore?

[00:09:57] And I had a beautiful memory of being on holiday and going to visit some mud baths.

[00:10:05] And I don't know if you've ever been to a mud bath, but if you haven't,

[00:10:10] get yourself booked in. It was the most beautiful experience where

[00:10:15] you're actually smothering your body in this muddy clay

[00:10:20] and then washing it all off in the river.

[00:10:23] And I went, whoa, wasn't that fun?

[00:10:27] Wasn't that fun to play in the mud?

[00:10:30] And how beautiful your skin feels amazing afterwards.

[00:10:34] And you go, it's nourishing.

[00:10:36] And when we think about garden analogies,

[00:10:40] you plant the seeds in the mud, in the soil, in the dark places.

[00:10:46] And so having that analogy, that imagery really for me is how I can still,

[00:10:55] we still get muddy places.

[00:10:57] We haven't got all the answers and I've got it all sorted out.

[00:11:00] But now I have the tools to go, oh, I'm in a muddy, messy, slightly yucky place.

[00:11:07] And you go, oh good, what am I going to learn now?

[00:11:10] Because that's where we learn the lessons.

[00:11:13] Yeah.

[00:11:14] No, I probably wandered off your question.

[00:11:18] No, no, not at all. I was enjoying listening.

[00:11:21] I was just wondering, as you start to make that transition, so to speak,

[00:11:25] what about all the fear that comes up?

[00:11:28] Because I know that some of the listeners and definitely myself,

[00:11:31] as you change things, fear always comes up.

[00:11:36] Absolutely.

[00:11:37] I can remember a time when I thought that I wanted to separate myself from fear.

[00:11:47] I don't want fear, I don't want fear in my life.

[00:11:50] And then that understanding through a creative process actually of no,

[00:11:58] fear is part of me.

[00:11:59] Fear is just trying to keep me safe.

[00:12:03] That is a very ancient part of our brain that is designed to keep us safe

[00:12:11] from saber-toothed tigers or whatever it was that was going to threaten us.

[00:12:17] And we have that default response to say, if we're going to do something,

[00:12:22] they go, oh no, don't do that.

[00:12:24] That's really dangerous.

[00:12:25] That's really scary.

[00:12:26] And that happens every time I talk about, if you reach an edge,

[00:12:32] you reach that point where you go, I want to be somewhere different.

[00:12:37] I want to be doing something different.

[00:12:40] I want to be feeling different.

[00:12:43] That's an edge.

[00:12:44] And what fear wants to do is go, oh no, no, no, it's really just stay here

[00:12:49] because you're safe here, even though that may be really uncomfortable.

[00:12:54] And so when we invite fear to actually have a voice, and I have a beautiful creative process

[00:13:04] where I do this, not on a regular basis, but certainly when the voice gets too loud,

[00:13:10] I go, OK, what is it?

[00:13:13] What is it that I'm really afraid is a slightly strong word.

[00:13:20] But what does fear want to tell me?

[00:13:22] And so I quite often have my journal and I hand the pen over to fear and go on them.

[00:13:31] Just tell me, what is going on?

[00:13:33] What are you really worried about?

[00:13:36] And what happens is eventually fear runs out of steam and it will come up with something

[00:13:43] that is just so ridiculous that you go, oh no, that's not true.

[00:13:49] And then I have a creative process that allows us to move from that energy into the place of claiming

[00:13:57] our truth.

[00:13:58] I talk about speaking your truth when we are so long have been muffled and muscled almost

[00:14:06] that we were not encouraged to say what we want and how we want to be.

[00:14:13] And I think as women, that's a collective wound that we get to move through.

[00:14:18] Oh, I think you're 100% correct.

[00:14:21] And I think it's even in the business aspect, you're sort of expected to silence yourself

[00:14:28] for the men.

[00:14:29] I mean, that's what my experience is.

[00:14:32] They don't want to hear you as a woman.

[00:14:36] They want to hear the other men.

[00:14:39] So yeah, yeah.

[00:14:41] Let's bring the positivity to this.

[00:14:43] I think things are changing.

[00:14:44] There is a transformational energy around where things are being shaken up and we are able

[00:14:54] to step into that energy if we choose to.

[00:14:58] And it's all we always have choice.

[00:14:59] This is all about free will.

[00:15:02] And if you feel, but you feel feeling that pull to say, no, I don't want to do things the same

[00:15:09] way that they've always been done, which is really, I guess, how I'm sitting here

[00:15:15] two years ago, a little bit more than two years ago now.

[00:15:19] I was working in a college situation in education with teenage lads.

[00:15:24] And I was close to burnout, teetering on the edge, but recognize the signs.

[00:15:32] Having been there before you get to that point and you have that breakthrough moment.

[00:15:39] And then you do the whole thing again and then you go, oh, no, I'm back.

[00:15:42] We go and go, no, I learned my lesson.

[00:15:44] I recognize the signs.

[00:15:46] And when I'm not going to do this anymore.

[00:15:50] And so stepping out of that situation was incredibly scary.

[00:15:55] Took a lot of courage to say, I don't want to be.

[00:16:01] I joke slightly.

[00:16:02] I don't want to retire and go and sit in the corner and wear beige.

[00:16:06] And you go, no, I've got a lot more working years ahead of me.

[00:16:11] And I now get to bring my gifts into that collective energy of enabling other women

[00:16:21] to rewrite their story.

[00:16:22] I love that description of your podcast.

[00:16:25] I think that's what drew me.

[00:16:26] I was reading it again before we went on to record and went, oh, yes,

[00:16:30] that's exactly what I have done.

[00:16:33] I found my gifts in the mess, rewritten my story.

[00:16:37] And now that's my mission is to bring that to other women.

[00:16:41] I think that's wonderful.

[00:16:42] And I totally see that a lot of women would need help with that

[00:16:47] because wanting it something and wanting change is one thing,

[00:16:51] but to actually take the leap to make it happen.

[00:16:56] Yeah.

[00:16:57] That's a very different feeling even.

[00:17:00] Yeah.

[00:17:01] Yeah.

[00:17:01] It is.

[00:17:02] And I think I always come out.

[00:17:04] It is about choice.

[00:17:06] But if there is that little seed that has been planted that says,

[00:17:12] I don't want to be doing this in five years time, 10 years time,

[00:17:19] I want to be living differently than if you've planted that seed,

[00:17:25] it you then nourish and nurture it, then it will grow.

[00:17:28] And I really believe the people that can support whoever it is,

[00:17:36] then we resonate.

[00:17:38] And so just look around you because those are the people

[00:17:42] that you will be drawn to that have wisdom for you.

[00:17:47] That's neat.

[00:17:49] So what do you think about?

[00:17:50] I've heard you talk about creating a connection.

[00:17:54] Women or men or whoever creating a connection to their own wisdom.

[00:17:58] So how do they do that?

[00:18:01] And are you talking when you say that,

[00:18:02] are you talking about your soul like connecting to your own soul?

[00:18:06] Or what does that mean?

[00:18:07] Yeah.

[00:18:08] I mean, for me, it's about listening to my own inner wisdom

[00:18:14] because I really believe that we do have all of the answers

[00:18:19] to all of our questions, but we've forgotten how to access that.

[00:18:25] I believe we have a strong connection with our higher self,

[00:18:30] with God, Source, Creator.

[00:18:33] I'm cautious about the language that we use because I think it's very weighted

[00:18:38] but that there is a source of energy and you can sort of tie a ribbon

[00:18:43] and a bow around that whatever that is for you because I have all sorts of names.

[00:18:51] And I think there's no one, no one is right.

[00:18:55] No one name is right.

[00:18:57] But that connection piece, that how do I connect with this wider energy

[00:19:04] with my higher self, with Source, is actually very easy

[00:19:11] and very, very difficult all at the same time

[00:19:14] because it requires us to be still.

[00:19:17] And of course, in the current world that we live in, we are very rarely still,

[00:19:25] very rarely in a place where we can quiet all of the noise that is going on around us.

[00:19:32] But if we can choose to say, okay, I'm just going to be quiet and sit and listen.

[00:19:42] Or, and here's what I love doing is going to my sketchbook,

[00:19:48] into my creative journal, and I'm just seeing what colour do I want to put on my page today.

[00:19:56] And that can inform, that you can connect in with the wisdom.

[00:20:02] I was feeling quite unsettled a couple of days ago and I thought,

[00:20:07] right, I need to go outside.

[00:20:08] I love being barefoot. It's a bit chilly, this time of year, but if I can,

[00:20:13] I'll go out in the garden first thing in the morning,

[00:20:15] the slip of shoes off and stand on the grass.

[00:20:19] And this flock of geese flew over.

[00:20:23] And we don't live in an area where that would be a normal thing to see.

[00:20:27] And so I went, oh, and it really distracted me from the pity party I was about to go down.

[00:20:35] I've got, because I'm sure we all recognise that pity party of, oh, poor me.

[00:20:40] And then we go down that garden path.

[00:20:43] And it just, I went, oh, okay, oh, I wonder what that message is.

[00:20:47] And being aware of what is happening around you, being open to the ways

[00:20:54] that the universe wants to connect with you.

[00:20:58] But for me, it starts usually with stillness.

[00:21:03] I know for a lot of people, they like to go dancing and they need that movement,

[00:21:10] which again is there are times I think when you go, yeah, actually,

[00:21:15] reset your energy like that because you can really shake it off.

[00:21:18] But my listening comes when I write, I talk about the power of journaling, free writing.

[00:21:25] That's when I get a lot of my downloads is put on some music,

[00:21:31] pen, journal, write.

[00:21:33] And then you'd be amazed at what comes out.

[00:21:35] Oh, wow. Yeah, I've never really tried that.

[00:21:38] What about meditation?

[00:21:39] Do you think it's a way to do that as well?

[00:21:42] Or do you think the journaling is better and more effective?

[00:21:45] I don't think there's a better or I do use meditation.

[00:21:50] I think for me, I would say that when I have a sketchbook in front of me

[00:21:58] with some paint or crayon and some music on that drops me into a meditative place.

[00:22:06] I love guided meditations and I lead guided meditations.

[00:22:10] Oh, wow.

[00:22:11] It's about the connecting with the imagery, the senses, if I'm going into that sort of place.

[00:22:19] Yeah, it's wild that you keep mentioning painting because I feel like I'm drawn to start

[00:22:24] painting. I can't paint a stick person, but I feel drawn to it for some reason.

[00:22:30] I used to say that.

[00:22:34] Because actually you can and we have this story that has been fed to us about

[00:22:42] what painting has to look like.

[00:22:45] True.

[00:22:45] And I've got lots of examples on my YouTube channel

[00:22:48] of how I paint very much.

[00:22:52] I involved with writing, but as I say, it's really scribbled with some color on a page.

[00:23:00] And you know what?

[00:23:00] If you've got some strong coffee, you could get a brush and paint.

[00:23:04] Oh, makeup brush, you could paint with coffee.

[00:23:07] And just I think there's something beautiful about the

[00:23:11] connecting back with our inner child who just wants to play.

[00:23:15] You give a small child the paintbrush and paint, and they know exactly what to do with it.

[00:23:20] They don't have any, oh, well, I can't do that.

[00:23:23] But we do pick that up along the way.

[00:23:27] I have a question for you too.

[00:23:29] I'm curious as to how you feel about do we have, do you feel like we have a destined

[00:23:35] purpose in life?

[00:23:36] Or do you feel like we just create a purpose?

[00:23:40] Like you find something that you feel is purposeful and you commit to that

[00:23:45] or do we have like a God driven, source driven destined purpose?

[00:23:51] What's your view on that?

[00:23:53] So as I say in my book, I talk about find your magic within.

[00:23:58] So I think every single person has something that they have is a gift that they are able

[00:24:07] to bring to the world.

[00:24:08] We can talk about that as purpose.

[00:24:10] We can talk about it as a sole purpose.

[00:24:12] But the thing is, it's so easy that we don't see it as a gift.

[00:24:19] So I've always been a teacher.

[00:24:22] I used to teach my dolls and teddies when I was a child.

[00:24:27] I loved teaching.

[00:24:29] And as I went through school, I realized I just loved helping my friends and explaining things.

[00:24:35] So when it came to the point of choosing a career, I went, oh, well,

[00:24:41] I really want to be a teacher.

[00:24:42] We go, well, yes, of course you do, because that's what you are.

[00:24:47] That's what lights me up.

[00:24:49] And so even now, I call myself a coach now, but I'll be honest, really, I'm still teaching

[00:24:57] because I'm sharing what I have discovered and guiding others to that.

[00:25:05] So I think we have, is it predestined?

[00:25:09] This is the path we're on.

[00:25:11] I don't believe that.

[00:25:12] I think we create our own reality.

[00:25:15] I know that when I thought that I wanted to go back into teaching small children,

[00:25:21] I very quickly discovered that that wasn't my gift.

[00:25:25] And how did I discover that?

[00:25:27] Well, I had a breakdown.

[00:25:29] I went into overwhelm.

[00:25:32] I got stuck.

[00:25:34] I got burned out.

[00:25:35] And you go, oh, yeah, I hadn't quite learned that lesson.

[00:25:40] But when we're not doing the thing that lights us up, that feels so easy for us

[00:25:48] that we go, well, can't everybody do that?

[00:25:50] And the answer is no.

[00:25:52] Nobody else can do what you do in your way with your voice and your experiences.

[00:26:00] So that's my, I don't know if I've quite answered your question there.

[00:26:05] I think so.

[00:26:06] But I came up with another question because I'm wondering if someone's listening

[00:26:10] and they're like, I don't even know what lights me up.

[00:26:13] Is that, I know you talked about self-awareness and being quiet, being still.

[00:26:18] Is that how they go start down that path to find out what lights them up?

[00:26:23] When you are in that place of messy reconstruction, I feel that I know from

[00:26:33] experience how hard it is to even think of something that you like doing.

[00:26:40] For me, it was while I like going out for coffee.

[00:26:44] And when I pull that apart, sort of imagine it's like a ball of,

[00:26:49] I keep having this image of a ball of wool.

[00:26:51] You start to pull at an end and you start to unravel it and go, well,

[00:26:55] actually what do I like?

[00:26:56] What do I like doing?

[00:26:58] And recognizing that for many of us, the things we enjoyed doing

[00:27:05] at some point in our childhood, we were maybe told that we couldn't possibly do that.

[00:27:10] And so we live out our story according to what somebody else has told us we can and we can't do.

[00:27:19] So garden party always starts.

[00:27:22] Step one is give yourself permission.

[00:27:25] Give yourself permission to go and find something that you enjoy doing.

[00:27:31] And then when you start to connect with that energy, you go, actually,

[00:27:36] you know what? I really love doing that.

[00:27:39] And then you feel that I talk about what lights you up and that there's a lightening of the energy,

[00:27:47] a raising of your vibration.

[00:27:50] It might be singing, it might be painting.

[00:27:53] It's usually a creative activity that gets us started because creativity raises your vibration,

[00:28:02] whatever you're doing, because that's what we were designed to do.

[00:28:06] Yeah, that makes a lot of sense really.

[00:28:09] So I'm wondering, like you said, going to get a cup of coffee gives you joy.

[00:28:14] So you start pulling that apart.

[00:28:15] So then are you saying stuff to yourself?

[00:28:18] Like what is it about going to get the coffee?

[00:28:20] Is it talking to the other people?

[00:28:22] Yeah.

[00:28:23] Is it the smell and the taste?

[00:28:25] I mean, is it that simple that you just start?

[00:28:28] Yeah, I'll explore that, which there's a sort of longer description in the book.

[00:28:33] So I realized that what I liked about the cup of coffee, going out for coffee,

[00:28:39] yes, it was social.

[00:28:41] I was able to talk to people and sort of have conversations.

[00:28:47] There was a group of us that used to go, but we weren't particularly friends,

[00:28:51] but we would meet other people.

[00:28:53] I like the smell, it's very sensory.

[00:28:55] But when we start to go, well, yeah, I like that and yes, I like talking to people.

[00:29:00] But actually, it wouldn't matter if I was there on my own.

[00:29:03] And the real bottom line was that somebody was doing something for me.

[00:29:12] Oh wow.

[00:29:13] Because I was so used to doing things for other people

[00:29:16] that I didn't know how to receive that.

[00:29:19] And so I started to go, yeah, there was an energy exchange as I paid them for the cup of coffee

[00:29:25] and they gave me a cup of coffee, but they were serving me.

[00:29:28] They brought it to the table.

[00:29:31] And so it becomes simple but multi-layered in that, yes, I was learning to receive,

[00:29:40] somebody was doing something for me.

[00:29:42] And I recognized that, well, actually maybe it's not my responsibility to do everything for everybody else.

[00:29:50] And so that's when you start to unravel that ball of wool, then you can go, oh look,

[00:29:57] oh and there's that too.

[00:29:59] Go back to the modern allergy, actually.

[00:30:01] If you start rummaging around on the bottom of your muddy pond, you usually find some treasure.

[00:30:06] Yeah, because that's amazing really because so many women are,

[00:30:11] I know I have been and I heard you say you were, but we're caregivers for whatever reason to whoever

[00:30:19] and I know men who are caregivers too.

[00:30:21] But you almost feel selfish to let someone else serve you because you feel like

[00:30:27] you're supposed to take care of other people.

[00:30:30] You're not supposed to allow someone to take care of you.

[00:30:32] So that's huge what you discovered from a cup of coffee.

[00:30:37] Absolutely yes.

[00:30:37] Yes and from a place when that was the only thing I could think of that I actually enjoyed doing.

[00:30:44] I think that was the key and by exploring that, that's when you find the wisdom nobody said to me

[00:30:52] oh well you like having a cup of coffee because of this.

[00:30:54] You go no I went inside how did it feel in my body to have that experience that I knew I enjoyed.

[00:31:05] So yeah.

[00:31:06] So when we find what gives us purpose I guess would be a better way to word it.

[00:31:14] Is it about that like what we feel in our body because I know if I listen to that little voice

[00:31:20] that's not it.

[00:31:23] You know what I mean?

[00:31:24] My little voice is usually negative or I try to block it out anymore but

[00:31:30] I know that's not source telling me something that's my myself saying that you know what I mean.

[00:31:38] So is it just how something makes you feel in your body?

[00:31:42] Is that how you know?

[00:31:43] Yeah I think actually if we do give our body enough of a chance to actually

[00:31:50] send us those messages our body is very good at sending us the right information but

[00:31:56] it's we do have this very loud voice chatter that goes on whatever your language is for that.

[00:32:05] So I'll sort of unpack a little bit in the garden party I have 15 magical keys one of which is

[00:32:12] called find your magic within and I take you on a guided meditation to actually go and find your

[00:32:20] treasure chest because there's this chest of buried treasure I mean you've lost it because we do

[00:32:26] we bury it because we think we shouldn't have it but the key to your buried treasure is actually

[00:32:32] those limiting beliefs that voice that chatter that tries to stop you is actually able you that's

[00:32:40] how you will unlock that treasure and unlock and unpack what is what is your magic within

[00:32:47] what is your sole purpose.

[00:32:49] So it's learning to listen to the chatter and going okay this is I must be on the edge of a

[00:32:56] breakthrough because those voices are really loud even this week I was I was live in my Facebook group

[00:33:04] and I realized that the the voice what all the things that were going on in my head

[00:33:10] I suddenly found I was writing in this big blue crayon in capital letters

[00:33:14] and I went yeah it feels like they're shouting at me because as soon as we write in capital

[00:33:21] we learned that you don't do that in emails and you don't do that in text because it looks

[00:33:26] like you're shouting but my book was shouting at me oh wow and I went oh that's really interesting

[00:33:32] these voices can be really loud and actually what I did was I consciously switched out of

[00:33:39] capitals and immediately those voices have less power oh wow that's pretty amazing so that's the

[00:33:46] power of intentional creativity of using the color to to move energy.

[00:33:53] Yeah and I have to say before talking to you I'd never really heard of anyone using color

[00:33:57] to change your mood or change your experience so that's pretty fascinating to me.

[00:34:02] Yeah I think it's something that we perhaps take for granted you can go into a room and

[00:34:09] feel very comfortable and very relaxed you can go into other places and oh I don't like this

[00:34:16] restaurants and cafes and that you have your favorite and so it would be interesting just

[00:34:21] bring that awareness piece and say well why do I like that one more than going somewhere else

[00:34:28] because you're picking up on all of the signals on color and and the smells and of course we

[00:34:35] receive as we are moving through our day we receive vibration first of all as an energy

[00:34:45] which we translate into color first and then sound and image and eventually for me that then it

[00:34:55] becomes words so that's how it flows through I quite often go oh what color do I want to

[00:35:02] paint today and that's usually a color that my energy system needs so that it's something lacking

[00:35:12] I don't you might have come across this with food you ever had that sort of feeling you go oh I

[00:35:17] really want to eat you know plate of green vegetables or I want to eat carrots we're

[00:35:22] receiving what our body is missing so that's a lovely inquiry to go down go oh I really fancy

[00:35:30] that color food I don't know if you've ever had that experience I always thought like it's

[00:35:35] really weird but I crave broccoli a lot yeah and but I always think there's something in the broccoli

[00:35:41] that I must need but you're saying even the green even the green of the broccoli yeah wow yeah I

[00:35:48] never really thought of it that way so I mean the green just speaks to your heart chakra right

[00:35:52] so it's your heart energy center and so your body's going yep there's a bit more green and

[00:35:58] of course the nutrients in broccoli I don't know what enough about the food values that I would go

[00:36:03] yeah green and give it a whirl get a colored crayon or even if you've got a colored pen felt

[00:36:09] pen marker something and just shut your eyes dip your hand into your pencil case or whatever

[00:36:15] and pull out a marker and just doodle with that because your body you have picked up

[00:36:22] what that color is that you need we don't trust our intuition anywhere near enough so

[00:36:29] you were talking about vibration do you feel I've heard a lot of people talk about

[00:36:33] that whatever vibration or frequency or whatever that we put out is what we attract back to us

[00:36:40] yeah you believe that so yeah using color we could change that perhaps yes to attract

[00:36:47] better yeah I think you for me it's about uh so if you think about a sort of a radio frequency

[00:36:55] and you're trying to tune your radio when you're trying to pick something up and it's all fuzzy

[00:37:00] when we are aligned and whether when our energy centers are or chakras are aligned

[00:37:09] then we're sending out a clear signal that's the clear vibration this is what I'm vibrating at

[00:37:16] and then we are sending out a clear signal and those that are resonating with that signal go oh yes

[00:37:23] that's that's what I thought that makes sense to me I was about to say I'm amazed but I'm not really

[00:37:29] amazed but the human part of me is amazed at how often I talk to women who have had very similar

[00:37:37] experiences to me and they don't it's not that they've read my book and know the experience

[00:37:42] they but I really I just felt I wanted to talk to you and those clients have experienced childhood

[00:37:49] bereavement they've experienced divorce depression a creativity that they not explored yet which was

[00:37:56] where I was so yeah that's what we give out yeah and I think some of it I mean like to for me

[00:38:02] you give off a very vibrant positive energy and I think people are attracted to that also

[00:38:10] it could be the shared experience as well but I think they see what they want like I wish I had that

[00:38:16] and it's attractive yeah yeah I mean I talk about reawakening to your soul's purpose allows you to

[00:38:23] live on authentic rebellious quirky lifestyle that's what I that's what I'm living I have chosen

[00:38:31] as I say I decided I wasn't going to play the go and retire and then now what are you

[00:38:40] in that position they're going well I've retired and now what do I do whereas I've sort of I've

[00:38:45] brought it forward a little bit and gone well I'm not going to get to that point I'm going to start

[00:38:49] now and share what I've learned and yeah I I do feel very positive because it's available to anybody

[00:38:58] whatever your situation is you can bring that authentic piece into your lifestyle

[00:39:06] well connect again with your rebel my rebel was hidden for years because I was the good girl I

[00:39:13] handed my homework in on time and I did what I was told and I told the line and they get to the

[00:39:20] point where you go well actually you're allowed to be uniquely you even when that looks a little

[00:39:28] bit different yeah I think that's hard because I think we create this identity that we have of

[00:39:34] ourselves and to let yourself out of that identity is very hard sometimes yeah yeah and that brings

[00:39:45] us back to this vision visionary piece of how do we see ourselves are we seeing ourselves as our

[00:39:54] authentic being that we were we are connected to source we're connected to our higher selves

[00:40:02] this is who we are or are we seeing ourselves as some sort of reflection of what somebody else

[00:40:09] wants us to be exactly yeah well I know we're edging on time so I want to make sure I give

[00:40:15] you plenty of time to tell us more about your book and your programs I know you offer several

[00:40:20] programs yes yes so my book always lurks in the background so here it is so there's the

[00:40:27] garden part of book which is available on Amazon the book is my story of how my growth my childhood

[00:40:35] growing up moving to and living in some beautiful places around the UK but also inviting my readers

[00:40:43] all the way through the book when I have experienced something getting you to reflect on that in your

[00:40:50] own life because it's not just reading what happened to me it's how can you use that as a springboard

[00:40:59] to start that journey of self-discovery and exploration the garden party magic I like to call

[00:41:08] it is held in 15 keys 15 magical keys which are that forms the program that is online

[00:41:17] very excited that this month I'm starting a membership so that there will we will be able

[00:41:22] to work in a group together with some teaching and some creative from and then that and working

[00:41:28] through that program wow so the exciting news for this month and it's exciting yeah and also on

[00:41:35] YouTube so on YouTube I have a Facebook group and I go live in the group and share what is

[00:41:43] happening to me I show up and I'm showing up for me and sharing that with my with my community

[00:41:52] on Facebook and then that also goes over to YouTube so if you're you know a bit sort of oh what's all

[00:41:58] this creativity what's all this sloshing paint on a page or about and you want to have a look

[00:42:05] then would love to see you over on on YouTube you can have a look at that yeah that sounds

[00:42:09] fascinating really I would like to hear more for sure well is there anything that we haven't

[00:42:15] talked about today that you want to make sure that the listeners here I think one of the keys for

[00:42:23] moving through the challenging messy times of our life is talk about resilience and

[00:42:31] learning how much we're never given more pressure than we can withstand it might not

[00:42:35] feel it at times but actually we're always guided as to what we're moving through and just to pause

[00:42:44] and say oh what am I learning what am I learning about this and fill up your own cup first but

[00:42:50] it sounds a phrase that is so well used but if we don't fill up ourselves and tend to our

[00:42:59] garden first then we're not able to help anybody else so keep in flow yeah I think that's very true

[00:43:09] well I thank you for joining us today I've really enjoyed talking to you I truly have

[00:43:15] thank you thank you it's been a lovely conversation thank you so much

[00:43:19] bye bye as we wrap up today's episode I hope Celia sharing her knowledge experience and wisdom

[00:43:26] has helped you in some way I thought it was really interesting how Celia spoke about what it means to

[00:43:31] be a creative visionary and how that can help us see things in a whole new light one thing that

[00:43:36] stood out to me is how Celia mentions that many times our deepest wounds can end up being our

[00:43:40] greatest medicine and it shows in a way that even the darkest of times in our lives may

[00:43:46] definitely have meaning and value and even teach us things going forward another thing that

[00:43:52] really stood out to me is how Celia learned to turn fear into a tool for transformation and change

[00:43:58] how great would it be to turn what holds you back into what springs you forward I think that's

[00:44:04] pretty awesome so what stood out to you I'd love to hear from you as always I hope this

[00:44:09] episode helps at least one person and with that I hope you have a blessed week my friend

[00:44:18] thank you for listening to the beauty in the mess if you enjoyed what you heard

[00:44:22] please share it with a friend and if you haven't already please subscribe rate and

[00:44:27] review this podcast on your favorite pod player if you have any questions or comments any topic

[00:44:32] ideas you would like to hear about or you think you would be a great guest on the show

[00:44:37] you can reach me directly at the beauty in the mess dot com thanks for listening