Ep. 59 Melding Neurocoaching with Functional Medicine with Cristy Murray

[00:00:03] I'm Michele Simms and this is The Beauty in the Mess, a community where people who crave a shift in mindset, personal growth, and connection to like-minded people come together to start rewriting their stories. Through engaging, honest, and insightful conversations, the show will help you embrace the mess

[00:00:23] to recognize the meanings and the lessons it holds and discover its hidden treasures to help you start making a mindset shift. Let's listen, learn, and reclaim who we were meant to be. Hi friend, welcome to The Beauty in the Mess.

[00:00:38] For this episode I'm happy to welcome Christy Murray. Today we're going to focus on neurocoaching with a bit about overcoming generational trauma and what that all means. But we're also going to explore how Christy has kind of melded functional medicine with

[00:00:52] neurocoaching and I feel that that's a pretty unique approach. I'm pretty fascinated with it. As a Christian neurocoach, Christy is passionate about empowering individuals to break free from the grips of narcissistic relationships and liberate themselves from generational trauma.

[00:01:09] With a focus on setting healthy boundaries, she guides her clients through a transformative journey towards healing and personal growth. Through science-based techniques such as brain rewiring and reframing, she helps her clients rewire their thought patterns and create lasting positive change in their lives.

[00:01:26] Her mission is to provide support, guidance, and practical tools to those seeking liberation from toxic dynamics. Hi, I'm Michelle Sims, your host. I'm just a regular person who along with my family have had our share of messes that we too have had to overcome.

[00:01:42] Along the way I got curious as to how others get through their messes and even triumph over them. Maybe there's a better way, a faster way. Maybe we can accelerate our journeys by learning from someone else. That started my pursuit.

[00:01:55] I think we can all learn from each other through the sharing of our experiences, lessons and knowledge. So join me for episode 59 of the Beauty and the Mess called Melding Neurocoaching with Functional Medicine with Kristie Murray. So without further ado, let's dive right into today's conversation. Hi, Kristie.

[00:02:15] Welcome to the Beauty and the Mess. I'm so glad to have you with me today. Hi, Michelle. Thanks for having me. Excited to be here. Absolutely. Now, I know you're a successful neuro coach, but before we get into what that really means and what it all entails.

[00:02:28] I was wondering if you would like to share a little bit of your backstory, like what in life led you down the path to become a neuro coach? Okay. So it's actually, it's a long road. I'm going to start being an infertility survivor.

[00:02:42] So I have two children now and that path, that journey was really painful for me. So I wanted to help women after that. I, when I was going through it, I said, I don't want anyone, any woman to go through this.

[00:02:54] So I made it my mission to help women. So I became a health coach, functional medicine health coach to help women with infertility. And as I journeyed through that, having that online business, I enrolled in a neuro coaching program for productivity. So it's a blessing in disguise.

[00:03:11] So then during that course in productivity using neuro coaching, I, an earth more deep inside me to where, okay, there's some more to being an entrepreneur. There's more to infertility that people need to go deeper because I actually uncovered that

[00:03:29] I was actually a generational trauma that I need to take care of. So all from a productivity class, just, you know, because of the neuro coaching. So I shifted. So now I want to help women who are ready and committed to break that cycle of generational trauma.

[00:03:49] I say ready and committed because you don't know that you're in it because those are behaviors that have been normalized in families. And until someone becomes uncomfortable, until you find certain behaviors or you find that

[00:04:05] it's affecting your relationships, it's affecting how you deal with the people and even like how you go after your goals. Then you realize that, wait a minute, why am I acting this way? And I see this as a pattern in my life.

[00:04:19] And when we go dig deeper, well, it's because of what happened when you were a child. Okay. Yeah. And that makes a lot more sense to me because to be honest, I've heard generational trauma is kind of like a buzzword.

[00:04:31] But in the terms I've heard of it in different classes or realms is more like a mystical thing. Like you don't even really know what the generational trauma is, but you're supposed to try to cure it.

[00:04:42] But you're saying it surfaces and how we're taught to respond to things and how we treat ourselves even probably. So it's more tangible. It is. The way you defined it to me, I mean, because that made perfect sense that yeah, we've been

[00:04:58] taught through the generations to act this way or to respond this way. Yeah. Yeah. And just because it's normalized, it's because, oh, that's just how it is. That the way how it is and how you raised, it's uncomfortable for you right now.

[00:05:13] And it's limiting you from reaching certain things. It's affecting how you treat your children. It's affecting how you treat your friends and how you treat your spouse. So no, it may be normal quote unquote in that aspect as you were growing up, but

[00:05:28] it's not serving you right now. And so we use how your brain is automating. And then we rewire all that. So we shift it. For evidence that, okay, you were taught that you're not good enough. And you may be feeling that, well, I'm just not good at this.

[00:05:46] So I'm not going to go for it. But that's not true. So we find evidence that you're good enough and then we rewire your brain to actually convince yourself that wait a minute. I've been told I'm worthless, but really I'm not.

[00:06:03] So logically you believe you're not worthless, but deep down inside you there's this broken record that you may not realize until you acknowledge that it's there. Yeah, I think that's very true. Yeah. Since that record or that voice or whatever you want to call it that plays

[00:06:21] over and over is so embedded at least mine is how do you actually break the cycle of stopping those thoughts? How do you rewire? So we look for things like through a series of prompting and looking at situations. So we identify a pattern.

[00:06:42] So I talk to someone and then they come to me and they're like, well, this happened today. And then I ask them certain questions like what is it about the situation that made you feel?

[00:06:52] And then we go back to has there ever been a time that you felt that way? So they unload their brains from me. I don't tell them, oh, is it this? So it's not my words. It's their words. Right.

[00:07:03] And as they come out with these thoughts in their head, we write things down. So then there's that tangible connection that your subconscious is connecting with your hand that you're writing it down. So eventually it'll come out that, oh my goodness, it's because of when this

[00:07:21] happened to me when I was young, I was told this and ever since then I've just carried that through. And every time there's a certain trigger that presents itself, then you're able to recognize that, OK, that's a trigger for me. Right.

[00:07:37] So then once you recognize those triggers and when it happens to you, then either you've decided in advance, you're kind of expecting it. Then then you change that thought that, OK, that's a trigger for me, but I don't feel that way anymore because I've worked through it.

[00:07:53] So now when it happens, it doesn't affect me the same way. And as a result of that, then you just handle things differently. So like for me, my mom, who needs me as an example, so my mom, she's a lot

[00:08:05] of guilt and shame and basically as I work through this, that's when I realize, wait a minute, I have this generational trauma. So she weaponized shame and guilt to make me, her children and people do things. But that's how she was taught, right? That's how she was taught.

[00:08:24] Right. And then in her mind, it's like that's just the way it is. But for me, there's like something deep in time and like, wait a minute, I don't feel good about this and I'm not comfortable with it.

[00:08:35] So and then as I see my relationship with my children, I don't want to treat my children that way. I don't want my children to feel the same way about me the way I feel about her. So I've decided that I'm going to break that cycle.

[00:08:49] So when my children act a certain way, my mother actually still plays in my head like, oh, yell at them or do this. But now that I've worked through it and I've caught it, I'm actually I'm calmer. I don't make them feel guilty. I don't shame them.

[00:09:04] So that's why I think I've gravitated more to to helping people break that cycle because that's how it starts. It's the next generation that, you know, we have to teach our children to want to be around us.

[00:09:17] We want to be better friends and better spouses and not just get stuck. Well, that's just how I am. No, that's not how you are. If you're unhappy the way you are, if you're bumping into walls

[00:09:32] and not having people be around you because of the way you are, then it's time for some self-reflection and some insight. Then I mean, you're not a bad person. It's just that there's something inside that's been programmed in you

[00:09:46] that's not serving you at that moment in your life. So I'm curious, like when your clients come to you, do they even realize how much of their life that it affects? Because I know for sure from my own experience,

[00:10:00] that childhood affects you deeply the rest of your life unless you intervene and try to change it. But I can see people not even realizing all the different aspects that this programming, like you called it touches.

[00:10:14] Like you said, your relationship with your kids, but it could be at work. It could be how you internalize things that are said to you from other people. Yes. So are they amazed when you start kind of peeling back the layers for them? Yes, exactly.

[00:10:30] And you couldn't have described it even better peeling back the layers. Yeah. Yeah, because like for me, my experience with neuro coaching, I just wanted to be more productive and my thing was, how come I can't finish these tasks? Why am I procrastinating?

[00:10:45] Why am I all these things to do and I can't do it? What's going on here? And then I came back with, oh my gosh, I was made to feel a certain way. That's why when things get busier, I get overwhelmed. I back off. OK.

[00:11:00] Yeah, I know you touched on something that really resonated with me and that's being able to see something logically. But then you see it through an emotional filter, if you want to call it that, or through that programming, but you can see it two ways.

[00:11:14] You know logically it's this, but yet you feel a different way. And so to me, I don't know if your experience has been as you're helping them rewire that it's just consistency and taking action and practice

[00:11:31] because I could see at first those feelings and those triggers and those thoughts are going to keep coming back for it. And maybe they come back forever. I don't know it, but you just learn how to handle them differently. So we use it's an acronym.

[00:11:45] It's called step dark. So you work through it. So when the situation presents itself, so S starts with situation. So if you're presented with a certain situation instead of being triggered by it, so you just tell yourself, OK, this is neutral, this is neutral.

[00:12:00] Someone else might take it differently, but because of your experience, you're taking it a certain way. Right. But sometimes it causes physical, right? It does. So how do you stop because the physical can trigger your mental as well? I mean, when you know you're shaking. Yes.

[00:12:18] Yeah, like you get that email from someone you see their name and you just start shaking, like I said. Exactly. Yeah. So how do you stop all of that? Yeah. So like the best way to start it is so remember the acronym step dark.

[00:12:33] So start with it S. So you get this email from someone that this person somehow always triggers you because they always send these bad email. So instead of your mind going through this rabbit hole, as soon as you see their

[00:12:47] name, you just remember, OK, I'm going to start with S. This situation, it's an email. No emotions attached to it. She sent an email regardless of what it contain. It's just an email. Right. So then the T is your thought.

[00:13:02] So then, OK, what thought happens when I this situation happens to me? Oh my gosh, this person. I don't like her. She's nasty. What is she sending now? But you don't know that if you're thinking that, well, this is neutral. She sent an email.

[00:13:19] My first thought was that's a bad email, but we're going to treat it as a neutral situation, so just go past that thought. OK. And then so the emotion is would be the E. So situation is neutral thoughts are what happens when you see that situation.

[00:13:37] And then the emotions that you start feeling, you may feel like, OK, this person makes me feel this small when I hear from them. So you recognize that. OK, is that emotion and that thought serving you? No. So the B is belief.

[00:13:56] So the thought and the emotion together, they they trigger and become your belief. If someone constantly yells at you, the thought is that they're bad and that you're bad and it makes you feel this small and then you believe that you're worthless. Right.

[00:14:14] Because then the thoughts and emotions, they come together that becomes your belief. Well, that happens enough in your life that your brain just automatically thinks that because the brain's job is to keep you safe and it conserves energy.

[00:14:28] So 90 percent of the time that's just the way it is for the brain up. That's normal. That's our automation. You're just going to feel not good enough when you hear from this person. Right. So you start recognizing that.

[00:14:40] So the D is the decision that happens once that situation happens. OK. So let's see email. You don't like that person. Let's see the emotion is that you don't feel good. And then the belief is that you're not good enough because they always send you these bad things.

[00:14:59] And then decision is, do you continue to go with that or no? So the action is what happens when you go down that train? What is the action that you do because of that decision that you make? So you've decided you don't like that person

[00:15:17] because they make you feel a certain way. Right. Just by seeing their name from the email, the action that you take is either you don't read the email, you delete it. Or you're already mad and riled up when you read it or you progress it in

[00:15:32] and you say, I'm going to deal with it later. That's the action that you take. So as a result, nothing gets done. Right. So it could be like one of your managers or your boss that sent you the email

[00:15:42] and as a result of that, they come to you later and like, hey, did you read my email? And you're like, no, because I was going to do it later because it's like then you went through this rabbit hole in your brain. Right. Right.

[00:15:55] So then you recognize all that. But if you start with the situation as being neutral every time, you're not going to think that oh, she's yelling at me because they sent an email. Right. Because you're not jumping to conclusions.

[00:16:11] And then you're not going to feel that you're not good enough. What if you open it and it is a nasty? What do you do then? Well, so then you break it down even more. So you break it down and I mean, it's a bad email.

[00:16:27] And then so OK, here's the tip. So if there's a bad email, 90 seconds. So I'm really impressed with this because just knowing how your brain works. So, OK, you get this flood of emotions before reacting or doing something.

[00:16:42] So just remember the neurochemicals that happen, it floods you for 90 seconds. So just wait 90 seconds. You know, you're going to calm down. Oh, wow. That's good to know. Yeah. You can like set your timer. I'm going to wait 90 seconds and I'm going to think of a better response.

[00:16:58] So from the way you're describing this, the rewiring is kind of the way I'm taking it. And you can correct me if I'm wrong. But it's like you said, you get a thought and then you automatically pair it with that emotion that you were triggered to feel.

[00:17:14] So in this way, it's like you have awareness where you come up with a new thought and you try to pair it with a new emotion or a neutral, like you said, no emotion. And once you keep doing that and you're retraining your brain to respond

[00:17:33] differently to that trigger, is that am I hitting it? Yes. OK. Yeah. Yeah. So that trigger, that's not actually brain priming. That's just working through the triggers. Brain priming is once we've gone through a series of that step

[00:17:49] door process and then we identify that why because it comes. We all come down to the three core needs. Do we feel love? Do we feel safe? Do we feel worthy? So we pick with those three like what is the core belief that it's being triggered every time?

[00:18:05] OK. Is it usually one for most people? Yeah. OK. Sometimes it's two and then, OK, we can work, we can brain prime, you know, to eventually but we start with one. What's the priority right now?

[00:18:18] OK. And then most of the time they pick, you know, I don't feel worthy. I'm not worthy. I was going to say from every group I've been in, I think that's the number one. Yeah. It seems like society even primes us to feel like we're not worthy.

[00:18:36] Yeah, all the comparisons and everything like, yeah. Exactly. So yeah, so we work through that process. We find evidence that, you know, what makes you feel unworthy? What makes you feel worthy? OK. And then we do what's called a truth prime and then a brain prime.

[00:18:55] And it's a long process. At least it's I want to say at least four calls to where we get to what we need to do a brain prime on after we tease out all the details. OK.

[00:19:07] So then we write down these series of evidence that you are worthy. And then you record that in your voice. And then you listen to it for 67 days. Oh, well, what you tell your brain doesn't know what's true or not. It just does what? Right. The subconscious. Yeah.

[00:19:28] Yeah, what it tells you to. So this kind of like self hypnosis in a way. That's what it sounds like to me in a way. Yeah, I wouldn't say. Well, I don't know. I never thought of it itself.

[00:19:43] Well, I mean, hypnosis isn't like making people bark like a dog. I'm trained in hypnotherapies. So it just sounds like it. I mean, it's just telling yourself a new belief. And then you hear it over and over and especially your own voice. Yes, yes.

[00:20:04] Obviously means more to your subconscious than someone else's voice. Yes, exactly. Yeah. And it's your belief, it's your voice. It's not someone else telling you, oh, you're good enough. You're awesome. Right. You're hearing yourself say these things that you've probably never said to yourself. Yeah, yeah.

[00:20:23] Most of us. Exactly. And you believe it because we've worked through that whole process. And then you tell yourself that and so we prune the bad thoughts. Right. The bad beliefs. And then we allow like the new positive ones to grow and then eventually take your new identity.

[00:20:43] So is there a science behind the 67 days? Is that science backed like after 67 days, it becomes a. Yes, there's actually and I don't have this study like the actual or friends. But on in my when I was getting certified, they would actually there was an athlete.

[00:21:03] He's a swimmer and he wanted to of course increase his time with the swimming. So they measured his muscle fibers on how like fast it would fire. And then they did that 67 day brain priming with him. And he never got in the pool this whole time.

[00:21:20] He didn't swim. Oh, wow. And then so it's all brain priming. So after 67 days, then he got in the pool and he actually increased his time. Oh, wow. Yeah, because you would think you need like muscle memory and practice, right?

[00:21:36] But really it starts with your brain and that's amazing, especially with no practice. Yeah. And it's amazing. And there is a study that shows they say like when the habit change takes about 21 days, right? But then brain pruning takes about 67 days. OK.

[00:21:55] And if you want to accelerate that, then listen to yourself twice a day. Put sticky notes everywhere and like, I am awesome. OK, I think that's pretty neat. Yeah. And like you said, the subconscious doesn't know the difference.

[00:22:08] So for the swimmer, if he was vividly imagining swimming while he's doing this, then his subconscious thinks that he was the whole time. It's pretty fascinating, really. Yeah. And I've seen actually Olympian skiers. So the skier, she has her eyes closed, but she's skied down this range.

[00:22:30] She's a solemn skier, so she knows where the flags are. So she has her eyes closed. She'll say, OK, I jump down as they say go. Oh, wow. She knows the slopes. And I know to the right, there's two. And then I go to the left.

[00:22:47] So she's memorized the path. Yeah. She knows the slopes and like this is all with her eyes closed. Yep. So she's telling herself that so then she'll go faster and her body just follows it. Wow. Yeah. That would be neat.

[00:23:03] I know they've done studies on basketball players too that visualize making three free throws and then if they've had trouble making them. But in their mind, they're doing it over and over and over. Then they start making this free throws. It is fascinating.

[00:23:19] Yeah. How powerful the subconscious mind really is. Yes. Yes. But you have to believe it like you can't just like do it because they someone told you too. Oh, yeah. But I think the issue for most people, it is all emotional because logically, we all know we're worthy.

[00:23:37] We all know we're capable. Yada, yada, yada. But when you when that filter comes in or those past like a lot of stuff, I know that I repeated to myself. It took me forever to realize it wasn't even my words. It was from someone else.

[00:23:53] And then I started repeating it to myself and I'm like, this isn't even for me. Yeah. Somebody says something horrible to you and then you kind of take it on as your own. But yeah, it's so it's amazing, good and bad, what your mind can do to you.

[00:24:09] Yeah. And the wonderful thing is you get to tell your mind what's OK to feel, I guess. Because a lot of times we're triggered by your emotions. Right. It's like we just feel and then we tell our brain, OK, this is how it is.

[00:24:23] This just sucks. But really does it? So if you just tell yourself, no, it doesn't suck. I can get through this and this is what I'm going to do. Right. So then, yeah, your body responds better too,

[00:24:35] because if you're in that positive zone, your stress hormones are not rising. So you're not getting that cortisol spike. There's no stress. Yeah, you just you're more resilient with things because you're not like, oh,

[00:24:53] my gosh, so like the best way that someone described it to me is like if someone drops a pen, some person who's triggered by that, it will just panic. Oh, my gosh, the pen dropped. Oh, my gosh, the pen dropped.

[00:25:07] But this other person who has decided that, oh, the pen dropped, I'm going to pick it up. Right. And then they have brain scans too, like certain parts of the brain that light up depending on what emotions you allow your brain to think. Oh, wow. That's neat.

[00:25:22] Yeah. It's really quite amazing tool. When you train to be a neuro coach, do they train you the functional medicine part of it? Or is that something that you mix together on your own? It's something that I mixed together my own.

[00:25:36] So I'm certified in functional medicine, which is amazing in itself. I'm actually a women's health nurse practitioner. So I practice Western medicine. But then outside of that, I do functional medicine coaching. How should they say this? Because then I put a different hat on as a coach.

[00:25:55] I'm not assessing, I'm not diagnosing and I'm not writing prescriptions as a functional medicine coach. OK. So with that part, I look at why is your cortisol spiking? What is it about that you eat? What is it about that your lifestyle

[00:26:10] that's like making you feel this way that's like, you know, have this mysterious illness that you have? And so and I can do like different functional testing, functional labs. That's different from Western medicine. But the thing with that is, OK,

[00:26:28] I can do all the testing, I can give you all the protocols and I can tell you what's wrong and what you need to do. Right. But then here comes the neuro coaching part like why are you not doing these things?

[00:26:42] So logically, you know what you need to do. So what is the number one reason that people don't do? Is it just fear? Fear of change and then it's uncomfortable because, you know, things are going to be different and they just think like one failure,

[00:26:57] they can't get back up. They fail one time to like, I'm not meant to do this. This is just me. This is how I am. Oh, so that's when you can use the neuro coaching to get them to change their mental state, I guess. Yes. Yeah. That's funny.

[00:27:14] I know people actually like to start with. I mean, people call it mindset work, but it's not really the neuro coaching is a different piece to it. That's why I like to start with that.

[00:27:25] And most of the time, once we get the neuro coaching done, then they're either primed and ready for the physical part to get better or like they just get better. So with the neuro coaching, do they do people after the 67 days?

[00:27:44] Do they tend to they however, they've retrained their brain to be or do they once in a while have to go back and repeat this? So I mean, how do you maintain long term? Every now and then they catch themselves like, you know, this happened and I

[00:28:01] sold they would get maybe 50 60 percent there because they recognize the triggers and they don't feel that same way about that trigger anymore. OK. So what happens is something else will come up and then we'll work through it again, we either need to change their brain prime.

[00:28:19] OK. Or is there a certain result that you want to achieve? And then so we'll go backwards to what do we need to do with that? So can you use like neuro coaching for even things like weight loss?

[00:28:33] Like why someone is resistant to eating healthy or living healthy? Yes, exactly. So you can use it for that too? Yeah. Yeah. Or like they lose the weight, but then they can't maintain it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So you can drill down to why they're

[00:28:51] I guess you would call it self sabotage, maybe. Like yes, yes. OK. For procrastination self sabotage is like why are you behaving that way? Right. I mean, there's evidence that you know you can lose weight. Why can't you maintain it? OK, that's very interesting.

[00:29:08] I would think you'd have a line of people just for that. You would think, right? Exactly. Just for weight loss. Yeah. So I'm interested also with the neuro coaching, because I would think a lot of

[00:29:21] times people probably come in and I could be wrong, but probably come in with a problem of not being able to set boundaries. And that's why they have a lot of the issues that they have. Is that something that you come across or you work with? Yes, definitely.

[00:29:40] Actually this Saturday I am doing a master class for how to sit. Healthy boundaries during the holiday. Oh wow. For eating and drinking or for like relationships with family and. OK, yeah. So with the people actually how do you set boundaries with people? OK. Yeah.

[00:30:02] That'll be interesting, I'm sure. Yeah. Sometimes when we get triggered too, we stress eat right? So that's part of it. Right. Yeah. We were talking about societal programming and I think a lot of us

[00:30:14] were generational, however you want to look at it, but you get programmed to eat as comfort, you get programmed to eat when you're sad. You get all of these programming that everything goes to eating. Every emotion leads to eating.

[00:30:30] And then they wonder why so many people have health and weight issues. Yes. There's actually a movie, The Minions. I don't know if you've seen it. No. No. Is it The Minions or was one of them were grew and yeah. OK. Yeah.

[00:30:50] What is how come I cannot think of the title? But anyway, so he adopted these three girls. Right. And one of the girls was having a party. Well, that they hired someone, you know, help people hire clowns and then like

[00:31:04] mascots, they hired a tooth fairy with a tooth fairy can't come. So grew was panicking and he was like, oh, my God, the tooth fairy can't come. And then so he looks at this little girl and she was really excited. She wanted a tooth fairy at her party.

[00:31:20] And he goes, well, I can't not have. We cannot have the tooth fairy here because she's going to cry. I have to do something. So he dresses up as a tooth fairy. Say imagine grew this big guy dresses to fare and he comes down.

[00:31:35] And then one of the kids said, well, tooth fairy, why are you fat? And then grew said because I eat a lot of candy to stuff my feelings. So true. So true. Yeah. So how much do you think that eating healthy and living healthy interacts with

[00:32:01] you know, for all the reasons that people come to you or would come to you for neuro coaching, how much do you feel like fitness as a part of that? Or a lack of fitness as a part of that? Do you know what I'm saying?

[00:32:13] Do they go hand in hand? Yeah. Yeah. Or have you noticed it's most the time it's lack of fitness. Right. There are some that are too much because they get into this overachieving mode that they work out a lot. So then the cortisol actually is high because they're

[00:32:37] rubbed up all the time because they're stressing their body. Yeah, exactly. They worked up all the time they're stressing their body in and you're like, ask them no, you need to stop and they're like, no. And because of that, you know, that generational or undetected

[00:32:53] generational trauma, the norm that they're high achievers and they have to feel like they constantly have to prove themselves. That's why they keep going. Right. I was going to say a lot of times that comes from insecurity also, doesn't it? Because yeah, you're trying to prove

[00:33:11] yes that you are worthy or that you are successful. Yes. Yeah. So now we come back to worth. Right. Exactly. And that's what I said. I think if you crack that, you've cracked it for most of the people in the world, I think. Exactly. Yeah.

[00:33:28] This is why when I get on clarity calls, I mean, I tell them like, I can do all the testing and give you the protocols and tell you what to eat. But really the magic, you know, I wouldn't even say magic.

[00:33:39] Like the key really is going to the root cause. Let's not like just put band-aids on the symptoms. Let's go for why are you doing what you're doing? So does it once they know why that helps them to stop or

[00:33:55] because I can see knowing why, but you still have the triggers. So I'm assuming in your neuro coaching that it's the stopping of the trigger process that makes it successful. I mean, there's always going to be triggers. So resiliency is what we go for. OK.

[00:34:12] And it's really and we can't like eliminate stress. We can't all live in an island in the Bahamas and when that be nice. Yeah, it would be nice, right? Right. I mean, things are going to come up, but the thing is when it comes up,

[00:34:26] you now have a process to work it through. OK, without your normal protocol. Reaction, yeah, exactly. So next time you get that email from someone, you're like, OK, bring it on, bring it on. What is it now?

[00:34:41] That would be a good reaction instead of feeling like disanxious because you know, there's probably something bad and that's by experience. Right? If you have someone that is, let's say nasty for lack of a better word, but nine out of ten times, it's been bad.

[00:35:00] So you are you're going to assume that the eleventh time is going to be bad also. Yes, exactly because your brain is prepping you. It's like bracing you for that. Exactly. Yeah. But you feel it all through your body. It's like, oh, there we go. Yeah.

[00:35:17] So then with that, if that's the norm for that, then you make that decision. Do I want to be in the situation all the time? Or is it time for me to change? Yeah. And I think a neat thing that you do,

[00:35:30] it sounds like with the functional medicine part, you can actually show people what that's doing to their body. Yeah. And I think that awareness of, oh, wow, it's not just that I feel anxious, but I'm actually hurting my body. Yes.

[00:35:44] That would give people more leverage to make the change. Yeah. So an example of that is I used to wear a CGM. It's a continuous glucose monitor. Yeah, I want to rent one of those. I don't know how it's amazing. Right? Yeah.

[00:36:00] So yeah, so you just scan it and I had a house guest at that time and I would scan myself and I was like, I am not eating unhealthy. Why is my blood sugar this high? Oh, wow. And for me, it's not like high, high, right?

[00:36:15] Higher than it should be. But it's like higher than what I want it to be. Yeah. So I could do not as soon as I dropped off that person to the airport, and myself and I was like, oh, wow, it's low. It's how it should be. Oh, wow.

[00:36:32] That's telling. So that is just evidence. I didn't see that one coming, but it makes for a big sense. That stress in your body, that direct feedback. Yeah. So yeah. And that is it. You know, I have a friend that has really bad diabetes. He's very thin.

[00:36:55] It's not a weight issue or anything, but he wears the continuous glucose monitor and we'll sit in meetings sometimes and he'll show me and his is just off the charts and we talk about is this worth it? Because what it's doing to your body is just crazy.

[00:37:11] And it's just stress because he eats healthier than any person I know. Yeah. So it's definitely stress related. Yeah, definitely. So can you rent those things as their company? So it's their companies and I can give you the resources.

[00:37:28] OK. There's companies that you pay a certain amount and then they send you the monitor and then they pair you up with a nutritionist to like do your reading. So it's like a three month thing. And then like if you want a six month right stuff like that.

[00:37:42] Or you can ask your provider for a prescription if you want. OK. It can be covered by insurance and it's I think one. I didn't think they would cover it unless you were diabetic. Yeah, if you're diabetic or you pre-diabetic, it really depends like what relationship you have.

[00:37:58] I'm not diabetic. I'm not. Yeah. So I don't think mine would be covered by through insurance. OK. Yeah, there are certain companies there. But yeah, but I would like to see. I think for me, I think if I saw the relationship of what I put in my mouth

[00:38:16] to what it's doing to my blood, I think if I physically saw that that it would be kind of shocking, I think, because you don't think anything of walking past something and grabbing it and. Yeah. Yeah. Like oatmeal is supposed to be healthy for you, right?

[00:38:31] Because they said, oh, eat oatmeal because it lowers your cholesterol and it has fiber, but it spikes my blood sugar. And like every food is different for everyone, not just because. Exactly. I've heard that from others.

[00:38:45] I've had some doctors on the show that say that too, that, you know, one thing that spikes one person, another person can handle just fine. So you really need to know how your body reacts to it. Yes. Yes. It's all personalized.

[00:38:58] And yeah, I mean, if there is a tool that I can recommend for someone. That's it. That's it. It's direct feedback right there. Oh, yeah. And because to your point, even to even see how stress is affecting you in that way. Yeah.

[00:39:15] That's something I hadn't thought about, but I'm sure that's shocking. I noticed too when I used to do high intensity training. My heart rate and my blood sugar would just spike. But if I would walk and like

[00:39:30] lift weights as I should, but not the high intensity, my blood sugar is even. And that's how you want it to be actually you want it even. You don't want it to keep spiking. I think I saw where you were involved in like a autoimmune

[00:39:46] disease event or something. Oh, I think it's one of the summits. It's an autoimmune summit. Yeah. OK. Yeah. And I just bring that up because I was talking to a doctor who deals with autoimmune and he said every time you spike high or low,

[00:40:00] it's triggering an immune response. And that way I have an autoimmune disease. So that was shocking to me. I was like, what do you spike high or I mean, you think if your blood sugar is low, you're not really affecting anything.

[00:40:13] But he said it's just as much of an effect. Yeah, that was shocking to me. Yeah. Because your body is designed to put everything in balance. Yeah. He said you should stay in a small range all day long. That's amazing to me too. What else?

[00:40:31] What have we not talked about that you would definitely like the listeners to hear about? So, yeah, so one definitely is get that CGM continuous glucose monitor. It's direct feedback to your stress and then the food. And then just journaling really, I mean,

[00:40:47] like get your thoughts out of your head because like we think in this day and age, we are go, go, go. We like to do a lot of things and then we get overwhelmed and then we shut down.

[00:40:58] And then you feel bad like, OK, I didn't do that. But then really it's your brain's way of like keeping you safe because you're getting uncomfortable and you're getting overwhelmed. So your brain almost tries to convince you that it's OK to take a break.

[00:41:12] It's OK not to do that. That's true. I hadn't really thought about that aspect, but because you do wonder why we procrastinate so much. We know things have to be done. We know we only have so much time, but we'll wait until we're in crunch time. Yeah.

[00:41:28] And then you get it done. But it's like, why didn't I just get it done earlier? Yeah, do it. Yeah. And then you're proud like I work well under pressure. Exactly. OK, journaling. Journaling in another way is really like get that good dopamine supply,

[00:41:50] a good source of it. So gamification, so like people scrolling on Instagram and watching videos, it actually like floods our brain with a lot of dopamine. Right. So the feel good hormone and you're thinking, OK, oh, I get this sound comes up every time I do this,

[00:42:12] I'm going to keep doing it more like the video games. Right. And it's entertaining. So you're like, oh, it's entertaining. I want to keep scrolling. But the result of that is you're lost in it and you're not getting things done. So that's a form of procrastination.

[00:42:27] It's like feel good. You're procrastinating. You're not doing the hard things that you're supposed to do because you want to feel good and you're getting that dopamine supply from the screen or from watching. So a good way to do it actually is if you just tack,

[00:42:42] if there's a project that you need to do. So you break it down to 30 minute tasks. So no matter how big it is, there's the saying there's more than one way to an elephant or how do you finish an elephant? So like little bites at a time.

[00:42:58] One bite at a time. Yeah, one bite. And that's what you do. You just like write down 30 minutes. So like, OK, if I have to write a book, if you think, oh my gosh, I'm going to write a book. I'm already overwhelmed. I don't want to do that.

[00:43:14] Exactly. But if you think to yourself, OK, I'm going to write the first paragraph of the first chapter. And that should take me 30 minutes. Yeah, I like that idea really because a lot of things do seem overwhelming.

[00:43:31] But if you allow yourself, you kind of set yourself up for success. You know, if I can get this done in 30 minutes, then I achieved what I wanted to achieve. Yes, I had a success. Yes, exactly.

[00:43:45] And as a result of that success, so what you do is once you and then you make that decision, OK, am I going to celebrate if I finished one 30 minute task or three 30 minute tasks? However you want to do it, just make sure you reward yourself for finishing

[00:44:00] something and reward yourself in a healthy way. In a healthy way, like of course you make this list of OK, how am I going? It's your celebratory list. Right. Am I just going to sit in the corner and drink my coffee or go for a walk

[00:44:16] or have tea or like have one scoop of ice cream but any reward. So that's your dopamine drip in a good way. Exactly. But does nature give us like dopamine hits too? Because I mean, a lot of people feel better just being outside and walk like you said,

[00:44:34] walking or doing something out in nature. Yep, it does. Is that why? Yeah. Yeah. OK. I've actually read somewhere that gardeners that there's something in the soil. I know it's like probiotics or like something the smell of the soil that gives you more serotonin.

[00:44:53] That's why gardeners are happy because they. Oh, wow. Yeah. I've never heard. So do you believe in grounding? I do. Since you're OK. Yeah, I've been hearing a lot about it lately. So and it makes perfect sense because we discharge that negative charge into the earth. Yeah.

[00:45:12] Unfortunately, like I think you're in Alaska. Is that right? I am. I am. So how do you ground in Alaska or do you have a grounding mat or? Oh, actually, sometimes when like fresh pollen snow, believe it or not, it actually like, especially if it's powdery.

[00:45:32] Yeah. Actually like that sound. Oh, like fresh pollen powder to know my shoes have studs. And then I was like, oh, no for a walk and it does feel good. Right. Yeah. Yeah, we're hitting cold weather here.

[00:45:45] I'm in Indiana and nowhere near Alaska, but it gets pretty cold here. So it's getting cold now and it's like, man, not going to be able to go out barefoot. That's for sure. Not much longer. Yeah. Oh, yeah. My summer I grew like 33 varieties of dolly is and.

[00:46:04] Oh, wow. That was the first time I've done it. So my husband actually made a comment. He actually built me a greenhouse after that. Wow, that's a great husband. Because then he said, I can tell you're really happy when you're

[00:46:18] gardening and when you're taking care of the flowers. Happy wife, happy life. I'll build her this greenhouse and she'll be happy all year long. Exactly, you figure that out. Right. I think that's great. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

[00:46:34] Yeah, like anything holistic is it's really I mean, like Western medicine has a place, you know, antibiotics has the surgery has a place. Right. But I think it's more like going the preventative route for everyone. You don't wait until things get really bad because then you're just like

[00:46:51] in damage control and part of that preventative route is really taking care of your brain, your subconscious. And like even like being away from toxic people, like your environment plays a big role. Like if you have a friend who's always calling you complaining and gossiping,

[00:47:09] I mean, like how much negative energy is that that you're subject, you know, that you're subjecting yourself to? Yeah, I believe that totally. Sometimes you're like in a work environment, you can't necessarily get away from that person, but you could minimize. Yeah.

[00:47:27] Minimize your exposure to things like that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's pretty, pretty wild. I think, you know, one thing I've realized over time and I think you're saying much the same thing is that you're just becoming aware of what you're

[00:47:44] doing, how you're responding and then in turn, how that's affecting your body and your brain. Yeah, it's huge. Yeah, because, you know, ignorance is bliss. If you don't realize that you're affecting yourself physically in all these ways, then you just keep doing what you've always done. Exactly.

[00:48:03] And you convince yourself that that's just the way it is. Exactly. In the meantime, your body is breaking down and you're breaking down. Right. And a lot of times, too, like we had talked about how you respond to things and like how you respond to people.

[00:48:16] So you train people how to treat you in a way. So an example is if someone texts you and then you answer right away. So then they're always going to expect you to respond to them when they text you.

[00:48:27] And the moment that you don't respond right away, they freak out. You're like, where were you? Why weren't you blah, blah, blah? Yeah, very true. But like really with that relationship, you kind of fed that.

[00:48:41] So then, but when you set boundaries again, like what we were talking about, that I don't answer my texts at a specific time because that's family time. OK. Or if it's urgent, then I answer right away. If not, then it's boundaries.

[00:48:59] And I do believe it is like the first step to everything is really setting boundaries. So one question I would have on that is like people who haven't really set boundaries before and then they decide that they need to, in my mind,

[00:49:14] they're going to meet resistance for exactly what you just said. We've trained people how to treat them. So now that they're setting up a boundary that they never set up before, they're going to get resistance.

[00:49:25] So how do they prepare for that resistance and not let that stop them from setting the boundaries? Yeah, so they can do it gradually or like if they encounter resistance from certain people, then maybe that's the people that they don't want to be around

[00:49:41] with that they don't want to keep in their circle. Right. Because people who are meant to be in your life and people who love you and respect you will respect the changes in your evolution. I believe that 100 percent.

[00:49:54] But I think a lot of people have a hard time if you're the kind of person that can't set up boundaries, you're also the kind of person that can't dispel people out of your life. You know what I mean? You can. That people please.

[00:50:07] Yeah, yeah, you're two people pleasing. That's a good word. Yeah. So I could see those going kind of hand in hand. Yeah, I think it would. And yes, then you may kind of feel like, gosh, you know, is it me or should I even

[00:50:20] be doing this? So then that's when we look at, OK, what is serving you right now and what's not serving you and which way do we want to focus our energy on? Right. And look at your glucose monitor and see what it's doing. And look at your glucose.

[00:50:38] Maybe say if this person is like resistant to you setting boundaries, just say you're spiking my blood sugar. That's why I'm not answering right away. And that's a very valid reason, I would say. Yeah. And if they don't want to accept that, they don't want to give you

[00:50:54] your space, maybe they're not the person that's meant to be there. I think you're right. And I, you know, I realize people have to grow and want to change. But I just could foresee some resistance with that.

[00:51:08] Yeah. Some words, actually, if that one of my coaches had told me, because I did go through this before I say I started setting boundaries and I didn't counter some resistance. And I was talking to my coach about it and she said, you know,

[00:51:22] understand that you're in this place that you're evolving and they're not. And, you know, it's up to you. You can just like let that relationship kind of simmer down on its own or you can talk to them and just say I am going through something right now.

[00:51:38] And I'm working my way through things. Yeah, that's perfect, I think. And if they don't want to accept that, then maybe you do have to make the decision to maybe I'm better off without this person. Yeah, exactly. Or at least like I was saying earlier, minimize the contact.

[00:51:57] Yeah, if it's a family member, obviously, unless it's a totally toxic relationship, you're probably not going to dispel them, but you can minimize. Yes, exactly. And train them how to treat you. Exactly. So is there anything else that you want to touch on that we haven't talked about

[00:52:17] that you can think of? I think we have talked about a lot. So if somebody is listening and they're like, wow, I really want to reach out to Christy, what's the best way for them to reach out to you or to find out about you?

[00:52:30] I know you have a website. Yeah, so they can go to my website, BlueVailWellness.com and they can, you know, read through that and get on my email list. And then I send out weekly emails telling them about setting boundaries and like certain tips here and there.

[00:52:45] That's great. Yeah. And then the class likes to have a master class this Saturday and I'm putting actually a bigger class. It's called Build Better Boundaries. Oh, wow. So is that on your website those events? It will be so that one is not there yet.

[00:53:04] OK, but I would really just get on my email list and through that website. There's actually also a freebie that I have to turn it on. It's Waze to Reinvent You. OK. So they go to that site, www.waze to so to reinvent you. That's kind of long.

[00:53:23] That's why I just tell them go to my website. Then they'll get a freebie. So that is that will give them like eight ways to kind of just small to get started, small actionable task to get started. Yeah. Yeah, that's great.

[00:53:38] And I keep hearing lately that the number one thing is just take action sitting there worrying about it and fretting about it does nothing but spike your blood sugar, so take action. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Well, I thank you very much for being with me today.

[00:53:58] I think we like you said, we've covered a lot. I think a lot of good stuff. So yeah, it's very interesting. And I love how you weaved the functional medicine and the neuro coaching together. So that's pretty awesome. Yeah, it's amazing.

[00:54:12] We got to start taking care of ourselves and that's all starts with our brain. And yeah, it does. Yeah, the brain is a very powerful thing. Dr. Amen. I don't know if you've heard it. Yes, I've listened to his podcast. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:54:26] And he wrote a book called Your Brain. Here's Everything You Say or something. I'm probably butchering the title, but there's something like that, that your brain is always listening. Yes. To everything you say. Yep. Yeah. Exactly.

[00:54:39] So yeah, so just another tip to actually be careful what you say because words have power. I mean, it's in the Bible and then your brain hears it. So like if you like say this day is going to suck, well, then prepare for it.

[00:54:54] But if you just declare it that it's going to be a good day, no matter what, it's going to be good. Yep. I think that's very true. And it will be. Thank you very much. I've enjoyed having you. It's been great. Thank you. Take care.

[00:55:09] As we wrap up today's episode, I hope Christy sharing her knowledge, experience and wisdom has helped you in some way. The thing that I sort of love the most about what Christy is doing is the way she's combining Christianity, functional medicine and neuro coaching altogether.

[00:55:25] I feel that the mind, body, spirit approach is essential, at least in my opinion. Everything is so intertwined. And I think you really have to resolve issues on multiple levels if you want them to go away forever.

[00:55:39] I also love how she explains generational trauma in a very simplistic way. In my opinion, it just kind of seemed like it was learned reactions and responses, really ones that we've learned from our ancestors. It's also ones that we've never bothered to question, right?

[00:55:56] We just accept it for what it is. But we really need to start looking at those reactions and those responses and see if they're valid or if we've just memorized something from the past. She also does significant work with survivors of narcissistic relationships,

[00:56:14] though unfortunately we didn't have time to get into that this time. So what stood out to you? I'd love to hear from you. As always, I hope this episode helps at least one person. And with that, I hope you have a blessed week, my friend.

[00:56:31] Thank you for listening to The Beauty and the Mess. If you enjoyed what you heard, please share it with a friend. And if you haven't already, please subscribe, rate and review this podcast on your favorite pod player.

[00:56:42] If you have any questions or comments, any topic ideas you would like to hear about or you think you would be a great guest on the show, you can reach me directly at TheBeautyandTheMess.com. Thanks for listening.