Ep. 57 Delving Into Menopause: Insights from Marjorie Nass

[00:00:03] I'm Michele Simms and this is The Beauty in the Mess, a community where people who crave a shift in mindset, personal growth, and connection to like-minded people come together to start rewriting their stories. Through engaging, honest, and insightful conversations, the show will help you embrace the mess

[00:00:23] to recognize the meanings and the lessons it holds and discover its hidden treasures to help you start making a mindset shift. Let's listen, learn, and reclaim who we were meant to be. Hi friend, welcome to The Beauty in the Mess.

[00:00:38] For this episode I'm very happy to have Marjorie Nass on the show. Marjorie's mission is all about helping women thrive during perry and post-menopause as well as menopause itself so that they can relieve symptoms such as hot flashes, insomnia, overcome

[00:00:54] brain fog and mood swings, and release excess weight so that they can enjoy a life filled with health, energy, and confidence. With over two decades of experience supporting women on their wellness journeys, Marjorie offers a unique non-medical approach.

[00:01:09] She supports women whether or not they choose hormone replacement by getting to the root cause of their symptoms and imbalances with a big focus on lifestyle. Marjorie blends the wisdom of yoga and its wellness branch Ayurveda, the science

[00:01:23] of life, to create an integrative approach that not only addresses current issues but also prevents future ones. Over the past 20 years, Marjorie has had the privilege of helping countless women navigate perimenopause. She gives them the tools to rediscover their health and identify at this phase of life

[00:01:42] so that they can feel confident and energized for the next 30-40 years and beyond. Hi, I'm Michelle Sims, your host. I'm just a regular person who along with my family have had our share of messes that we too have had to overcome.

[00:01:56] Along the way I got curious as to how others get through their messes and even triumph over them. Maybe there's a better way, a faster way, maybe we can accelerate our journeys by learning from someone else. That started my pursuit.

[00:02:09] I think we can all learn from each other through the sharing of our experiences, lessons and knowledge. So join me for episode 57 of The Beauty and the Mess called Delving into Minipause, Insights from Expert Marjorie Nass. So without further ado, let's dive right into today's conversation. Hi, Marjorie.

[00:02:30] Welcome to The Beauty and the Mess. I'm so happy to have you with us today. Thank you. I'm happy to be here. Now, I know that you talk a lot about menopause and you're an expert in that arena.

[00:02:42] But before we step into that right away, I was wondering if you could give us a little bit of your backstory, like what led you down this path? Yeah. So my path started out in a very corporate environment in New York City. And I was not well.

[00:02:59] And this was in my 20s and 30s. I was not well physically, had a lot of anxiety. And so I embraced, I discovered yoga, which totally changed my life. And what a lot of people don't know is that yoga has a total wellness science.

[00:03:16] It's called Ayurveda, which just means science of life. And so I ended up becoming a yoga teacher and I studied Ayurveda. And then I began to teach that. And basically I wasn't having any symptoms at all in perimenopause and menopause.

[00:03:32] Once I was in menopause, and I found that most of the people that I knew were struggling. And I had been following this really lifestyle for many years and didn't struggle. So I started incorporating that into my teaching.

[00:03:47] And the women that I worked with who had hot flashes, they had a lot of fatigue. They had night sweats. Their symptoms started going away too. And the women that I started to work with who were prior to menopause, they were in

[00:04:01] perimenopause, they never had the same depth of symptoms that I see with so many women now. So that's why I'm just focusing on women in perimenopause and menopause. Because it doesn't have to be hard.

[00:04:14] It doesn't have to be something that you have to push through and get to the other side. Oh, that's awesome. It's good to know for sure. So I know that you talk about menopause is not a disease, even though doctors treat it as such.

[00:04:30] Could you explain that a little bit better for us? Yeah. So it's changed in the especially like in the last five years, I think. But people weren't talking about perimenopause and the symptoms that women would have for a long time,

[00:04:47] five, 10 years before menopause that they didn't actually recognize were part of menopause symptoms. So whether they were fatigued, their libido dropped, their sleep started to change, but they weren't connecting that. So the doctors would say to them, well, there's nothing wrong if they tested their hormones,

[00:05:08] there was nothing off with their hormones. And maybe if it was more anxiety or mood swings that they were having, it would be recommended that they go on an RX. I'm not a doctor, but I speak with hundreds of women and that's often what happens.

[00:05:22] And it is not a disease that needs to be fixed. I like to compare it to puberty, right? Because that's when our hormones come in and for women, that's when we become fertile. We reach childbearing age, although it's relatively young. And so the hormones turn on.

[00:05:42] Women's bodies, girls' bodies are changing and their moods are changing because this time of life is different. So the reverse happens in menopause and we stop producing those hormones to the same level that they are in our childbearing years. So it's nothing to fix.

[00:06:01] And from my perspective, almost all of the menopause symptoms can be healed through lifestyle routines. If women consider that something's wrong and they have to go to the doctor, they're not going to be empowered really to make decisions about their own health.

[00:06:20] And they're going to look at whether it's an RX, whether it's a supplement, whether it's something to help them get back to a place that they were. But this is a new phase in our lives. And that has a lot to do with our symptoms.

[00:06:36] So how we look at aging as women in our society, women, older women are not sometimes are talked about as invisible. It's like there isn't something that is to be looked forward to. And that's not the case in other cultures.

[00:06:55] In other cultures, the elders are part of the family. They're not ignored. They're very much looked towards to get advice. And that's not the case here. So it's really a change for most women, for many women,

[00:07:10] their children are getting ready to leave the home or have already left. So they're in a sense of empty nesters. And it's a time to look at your half of your life is over. And for most women, nearly half of their life will be spent in menopause.

[00:07:27] Oh, wow. I hadn't really thought about that. It's kind of daunting in a way. So does it matter if they're taking hormone replacement or not? As far as the lifestyle changes, I mean, does that enhance or... And I know you're not a doctor.

[00:07:41] I'm not asking medically like advising people what to do. I'm just asking from your experience with working with other women. Does hormone replacement therapy make a difference? Well, it's a great question. And for some women who have really been struggling and suffering for a long time,

[00:08:01] that may be the first thing that they do. My opinion is that if you just take hormone replacement therapy without changing your lifestyle, your sleep, your nutrition, your movement and how you handle stress and how you're looking at the rest of your life, it's essentially a band aid

[00:08:19] because you're still going to be handling stress in the same way. And the hormones can only help so much. And I speak with a lot of women, they are on hormone replacement therapy. It's helped a little bit for some women. It made them worse.

[00:08:34] Oh, so it's not a magic. It's not something that's magically going to get rid of all your symptoms. And what I always say to women is try the lifestyle changes first and then see what happens. So absolutely somebody who's on hormone replacement, I welcome them.

[00:08:53] I welcome to work with them and we address the root causes of their symptoms. So in your experience, is there any one that's more because you've talked about several things like lifestyle changes and nutrition changes, sleep changes?

[00:09:08] Is there any one of those that's more effective than the rest? Or is it a combination? And that's also as far as the whole picture, that's a lot of change at once. So how do you help women make all those changes? That's a really interesting question, Michelle.

[00:09:26] And so here's the thing. If we are not sleeping, everything else in our body and our mental health and emotional health is going to be thrown off. So actually when I work with women, the first thing I do is address sleep.

[00:09:46] And everybody says, well, I was speaking with a woman the other day. I know I should go to sleep early. I know I should go to sleep earlier. But I get caught up in things or somebody called and then it wasn't early anymore.

[00:10:02] Right. So I guess even before that, I'm going to back up. It's about deciding that your health is number one. And for many women, I venture to say the vast majority of women that has never been the case, they're always putting everybody else.

[00:10:21] This is a woman who was on the phone with her 30 year old son. And he was going on an interview or something like that. I don't know, she was ready to go to bed at 10. And then she spoke to him till 11 30. So that's a very important thing.

[00:10:36] I understand if she is not rested and she's not well and she doesn't have energy, she's not going to be able to be fully present. I would venture a guess that if she had waited and had a good night's sleep

[00:10:50] and had the conversation the next morning, she would have been sharper. She would have been in a calmer state, a more present state, a less stressed state. So really the first priority and I call it being strategically selfish. And this is recognizing that without taking care of yourself,

[00:11:09] everyone else in your life is going to suffer at some point. So whether that means that you're too tired to have a real conversation with your teenager or they're just seeing you very snippy because you're too tired

[00:11:24] or if you're having aches and pains and you can't do the activities that you love. And if you're you and your husband or partner are always snippy at each other and you're having less intimacy because you have no libido,

[00:11:40] that is affecting every part of your life for women. Professionally, I work with mostly women who are professional. They are tired at work and they're not doing their best work. Some of them are leaving money on the table if they're not able to get the extra

[00:11:58] bonuses or things like that because their performance. So that's the first thing is to commit to that. Like I am going to put myself first because that's going to help me with everybody else. And that's a real mindset shift around it. Oh, absolutely.

[00:12:16] And I, yeah, I would say that for women who have been not who have been living like that for their whole lives, their menopausal and menopausal symptoms will be worse. Yeah. Yeah, I was just thinking it creates a lot of guilt for women.

[00:12:33] That's part of the mindset shift. But to tell your son, can this wait till morning or your daughter? Whoever. It's more than just trying to put yourself first. I think it's overcoming that guilt of it's OK to put it off until morning.

[00:12:48] It's a really interesting point and that's why it is so difficult. And this is also about getting older and being willing to speak up about boundaries. And I talk a lot about this with my work with people because they're changing. They're they're changing their lifestyle.

[00:13:06] They're changing their routines. And that often means like having a real conversation with people. And she told me that her daughter was always saying to her, you need to take better care of yourself. You need to take better care of yourself.

[00:13:19] So when she told her when she told her daughter that she was going to be working with me, her daughter was thrilled and she was like, so I'm going to be turning off at 10 o'clock and because she was basically available 24 seven day and be a text or phone.

[00:13:35] And these are not small children. There's no judgment here at all. But again, and she's expecting her first grandchild. So she's going to be taking care of herself in addition to her full time job. She wants to take care of her grandchild on a regular basis. Wow.

[00:13:52] So in terms of the guilt about speaking with someone, if they know in advance that this is why you're doing it. That's true. You're not doing it because you're going out to a party or something. You're doing it for them.

[00:14:06] You're doing it for yourself so you can be there for them. So one of the first things we talked about was how she was going to, you know, make this a priority and have the people in her life, her loved ones understand why she was doing this.

[00:14:20] That is a very important point because I think that's the part we don't think about doing, setting them up in advance to know why you're going to set up boundaries, because I think society programs us, especially as women, to be caretakers of everybody else.

[00:14:36] So my experience has been you put everyone else first and you put yourself last. Otherwise, you're selfish or that's what you think. And so, yeah, I think it makes a huge difference if people know why you're responding the way you are.

[00:14:51] Yeah, I led retreats, yoga and wellness retreats for many years in Costa Rica. And I had a student client. She was I think she was a 38 at the time and she was lucky enough to have

[00:15:05] the support of her husband that she had a three year old and a nine year old at home, and she knew that she needed this break. She owned a business and she went away for herself and she knew very well.

[00:15:22] I have to do this for myself because I'm going to be a better mother. And she was giving an example to her daughters that they can take care of themselves. So it does become a cycle generationally.

[00:15:36] And what's interesting is that a lot of women that I speak with, their mothers, their parents are really struggling with their health. So they are mirroring what they've been taught. So what I look at is generational change, like let's have women take charge

[00:15:54] of their health and let their families know that, especially their daughters, their daughter-in-laws, that this is what we need to do. Yeah, I love that. I think it's very, very necessary, very important. So you also talk about how suffering is optional. It's not inevitable.

[00:16:12] So a lot of us, I think we're also conditioned by the medical society to just, oh, this is part of getting older. This is part of menopause. This is just the way it's got to be. So would you like to speak on that for a moment? Yes.

[00:16:26] So when most women think about menopause, they do. Like I think the first thing people think about is hot flashes and night sweats and being so embarrassed and being sweating in the middle of somewhere. And they're like, oh, my gosh.

[00:16:40] And there's an expectation that this will happen at some point. So it's the expectation effect. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you see everyone around you who's struggling or you hear the stories, everybody speak with when I speak with says, well, it's not as bad

[00:16:59] as my friend because she's waking up and she has to change her sheets because of night sweats. So this is expectation that this is just what happens. And it's not true. I always talk about what's common does not necessarily mean it's normal.

[00:17:17] So we've normalized these struggles in menopause. So suffering is optional. There are answers and it does mean making changes. So for some women, they're used to getting a quick fix. So if it's a supplement or it's an RX and looking at that to be the answer.

[00:17:38] And that's fine. But without really looking about how we're living in our body because we only have one, right? Right. It's like your house. If you are not taking care of your house, things are going to start breaking down

[00:17:52] and it's going to be harder and harder to fix things. Right. Right. So for women to start looking at the identity of who they are in their lives at this point that there is more to come. They have more to offer.

[00:18:07] Maybe they have more flexibility because their children are older. They can start rediscovering themselves. And I think a lot of the struggles come from feeling like the best years of their lives are behind them.

[00:18:20] And I hear a lot of women, they'll say, I feel like I'm 80 and I'm only 50. And there's this sense of feeling old so you can women can kind of go off into that trajectory or they can say, no, there are these examples

[00:18:37] of women who are thriving, who have a second act to have a second career or so much freedom. So if they're retiring, they're going to feel good. They don't have to worry on a trip if they're going to be able to keep up with their family.

[00:18:51] So the first thing is to have the belief that this is not inevitable and also understand that it requires a commitment to change because anything else is just going to be surface level and something else is going to pop up later. Exactly.

[00:19:09] So kind of like what I was asking before, but do you help these women institute change in phases or do your attack a little bit of everything all at once? Yeah, so I've been doing this a long time, Michelle, and I have a program

[00:19:24] that's eight weeks and I only give women one week at a time so they can just work on one thing each week. And of course, it's cumulative and it's not complicated. So it doesn't mean it's easy, but it's not complicated.

[00:19:42] In fact, the most important thing is about making that commitment because without that commitment and that big reason why it's too easy to stay on the couch watching the next episode of whatever, it's easy to keep scrolling on your

[00:19:56] phone when there's something that you could be doing instead that's going to be supporting your health. So how do you keep them motivated? I mean, because sometimes it's easy to make the change and I'm just speaking from personal experience, it's easy to make the change immediately,

[00:20:13] but then to sustain that change is a lot tougher. Yes. Well, that's where implementing the big reason why. I talk about how every step we take, every choice we make, whether it's about going to sleep or how we're handling a stressful moment,

[00:20:34] is either a choice towards a healthy life, a healthier, more joyful life or away from one. So again, it takes the kind of woman who's ready and committed to make this change. And not everybody is at that phase.

[00:20:50] But in terms of keeping motivated, it's not just because I say that this is why. I help one of the ways that I really coach is that I help women understand why.

[00:21:04] And women who go through my program will also say, well, I always knew that I should do that, but I never really understood why. So there's a lot of practicality there and it's also about aligning with nature's rhythms.

[00:21:18] So when women understand how getting away from the natural rhythm, so whether it's eating or sleeping or moving, when they understand that, it makes more sense to follow a circadian rhythm that's going to support them. A lot of times motivation, helping motivation is having pretty immediate results.

[00:21:42] And for the women that I work with within a couple of weeks, they have fewer hot flashes and they're sleeping better. So that in and of itself, women feel like they have more energy. So they want to keep doing that.

[00:21:56] Part of the lack of motivation, in my opinion, is that there is no energy and there's no bigger picture because we're not feeling good. And for a lot of us, we haven't been feeling good for so long that we don't

[00:22:11] realize that the bar is very low because we've just gotten used to it. And that often shows up as lack of motivation. Right. So do you function as kind of a coach for women as well? Yes. So I am a primary menopause and menopause coach.

[00:22:28] And a coach is someone who helps someone stay on track. It's like an athlete has a coach. Right. As I, as a coach, help them and see what they don't see. So whether it's about the choices that they're making,

[00:22:44] the example we used before about boundaries to help their health or when they're going through an up and down because if you're listening, you're not going to see me, but the trajectory is never straight up. The straight of the trajectory towards health on that journey.

[00:23:00] There's ups and there's downs because life happens. And as a coach, I help women when they're helping them stay, you know, really celebrate the things that are changing because that's so motivating and then coaching them when they're struggling with the next step,

[00:23:21] for example, or just kind of tweaking some of the things that they're doing. And the way that I coach is individually and in a group because in a group, women can hear from other women about what their struggles were and about how

[00:23:37] they're feeling now and learn from the other women in the program. Does that make sense? Yeah. So the women get to communicate with each other as well. Well, I'm there too. Right. But I'm just saying they can support each other also. Yes, exactly.

[00:23:54] So that's that's a neat concept. I think it's something that I really haven't heard of before. So I like that. So what else comes to mind that you would want to make sure that our audience hears like, I know we've talked about shifting beliefs about menopause,

[00:24:12] which I think is huge because we all have this preconceived notion of what menopause means. And we do think that this is going to happen and I just have to accept it. But what else do you think is important?

[00:24:26] I think again, the most important thing is a decision. And it's a big decision to decide to make changes. And that's why there has to be that big. Why? So although my focus is not weight loss, a lot of women who come into my

[00:24:44] program do lose weight because when we're sleeping better and we're eating better, not as I don't call it a diet, I call it nutrition. That will start to happen. So the difference is for somebody else who just wants to lose weight.

[00:25:02] They want to fit into and this is why diets don't work because it's for a short amount of time. But these are lifestyle changes, so we're not going to do it and then never come back

[00:25:15] to it, you lose weight and then you'll gain a back if that wasn't the case. There wouldn't be tens of thousands of diet books out there and there wouldn't be people who 95 percent of them gained the weight back. So we know that diets don't work.

[00:25:32] But I feel like once women start to feel better, everything changes. They're mood changes, their level of ability to do the activities that they love, staying active, whether it's hiking, whether it's pickleball, whether it's bicycling. So their whole life is elevated.

[00:25:54] And at this point in our life, we don't have any time to waste. Right? We want to enjoy ourselves. And unfortunately for a lot of women that are in their 50s, they're not feeling well. They're not able to keep up with their grandchildren.

[00:26:11] So again, recognizing that this is about your loved ones. They want you here. They want you to be healthy. I always talk about do you want to be the grandma that's like staying home and cooking while everybody else is like out cycling or skiing and you can't?

[00:26:30] Or do you want to be the cool grandma who's like taking your grandchildren on a trip somewhere because you have the energy to do that? So it's very much again, taking responsibility of our own health. And I think people have become disconnected.

[00:26:48] It's so easy just to do things quickly and not cook. And if you're able to exercise a little bit here, but you're not moving the rest of the time. So it's really looking at a mindset shift and a shift in how you want to live

[00:27:06] in the world when you take care of yourself. It's a huge ripple effect. It's a ripple effect to your children if you have them. Then they affect everybody in their lives. A lot of women that I speak with or their faith there in their organizational faith, they volunteer.

[00:27:24] Everyone around them improves their lives. And we need women who are confident. We need women who have a lot to do in the world and we need happier people. We need leaders who are going to be happy and show what's possible.

[00:27:41] And in a society, in a culture where women are not healthy, that just can't happen. It just can't. And we all know the people, the older people and all they do is go to the doctor. They have 10 different doctors and 10 different prescriptions.

[00:27:58] And it doesn't have to be that way. It really doesn't. And so I always say that the earlier that women can start, the easier transition they're going to happen. So I work with professional women and they find that the symptoms are really affecting their work.

[00:28:18] They're tired, they're less sharp, they're less productive and it's taking longer for them to do what they used to. And then they go home and they're too tired to be the best mom they can be or be there for their partner. And they don't want that.

[00:28:33] They have responsibilities at work and that's important to them. They don't want to be fading. There's already so many really prejudices in the workplace about women getting older and hiring somebody who is new. And instead being the woman who's been there and who is the leader.

[00:28:55] So really deciding that this is a choice. You have a choice either to move towards health or away from health and you can control that. It's not somebody else outside you. It's you making the changes because when women go to a doctor,

[00:29:13] they'll often hear and most doctors are not trained in menopause. So they'll go to a doctor and a couple of things will happen. The doctor will say, this is normal. This is what happens as you get older. That's all they'll say. They might say, go lose some weight.

[00:29:30] The other is that the doctor will say, well, and I've heard this too, you're still having your period. So you're not really in menopause yet, like totally discounting any idea of pairing menopause. And the others will look at it either from a perspective of taking an antidepressant,

[00:29:50] which are often used for off brand for certain symptoms in menopause or they'll immediately start to look at hormone replacement without them making any changes first. So I look at that and Western medicine is amazing for emergencies and treating

[00:30:09] certain things, but for it's not again, it's not a disease. So imagine if a girl in puberty went to the doctor and was like, I'm really moody and achy and I have growing pains. They wouldn't treat that as a disease. So it's the same thing.

[00:30:26] So I really think that's a big mindset shift around that for women that they can control how we're feeling for the most part, physically and emotionally. And having the support of women who believe in you and believe that's possible.

[00:30:45] I was speaking with another woman and she was like, I didn't know that somebody like you existed. I wish I had known before that there was a coach that could help someone specifically about this. So I had never heard of a menopause coach before.

[00:31:04] You know, it is unique and I don't think people even have enough awareness to even look for someone that does what you do. And a lot of us are conditioned, I think as patients were conditioned to think there has to be some medicine to fix this.

[00:31:18] And I think the doctors are even conditioned to the patient's going to be disappointed if they don't give them some kind of pill or some kind of treatment instead of saying how many patients would come back, so to speak.

[00:31:30] If the doctor said, hey, you know, you need to change your life. You need to get more active. You know what I mean? A hundred percent. Yeah, they would feel disappointed that they didn't get this quick miracle cure or some sort or promised miracle cure.

[00:31:45] Yeah, just talking about the doctors a little bit and it's not anybody's fault, but this is the system, the medical system is this way. Doctors are probably only going to see you for 10 minutes. Right. And it's probably not a doctor that you've seen before.

[00:32:01] And it's just not enough time to really hear what's going on with someone and coach them. And again, you could say like lose 10 pounds. But like how are they supposed to do that? There's a million ways and doctors aren't supporting that.

[00:32:20] Because at this point in time, that's not what they're trying to do. Isn't it true that and this could be a myth. You can correct me if I'm wrong. But does menopause make it harder to lose weight? If you're not making all of these lifestyle changes, right?

[00:32:35] Oh, I'm so glad you brought that up. Many women gain weight in menopause and it doesn't have to be that way. So there are a couple of reasons why. Number one, if you're doing the same things that you were doing in your

[00:32:51] 20s and 30s, how you're eating, how you're sleeping and the exercise you're doing, you will gain weight because our bodies are changing and we can't do the same things that we used to. And a lot of the weight gain is stress because as our hormones change,

[00:33:10] we are more likely to have the stress hormones, which if those are very high, our body's going to hold on to weight so that can make it harder to lose weight. And again, the lifestyle changes. So women who work with me, it's not their main intention,

[00:33:27] but they do lose that extra weight that they were holding on to. They just wanted to feel better and then naturally that came off because there's, you know, so many reasons why we're holding on to weight.

[00:33:38] One of the things in terms of weight is that it's not just about what you eat and how much you're exercising, and that's not what you'll hear from most dieting programs or weight loss programs. I don't know if like the symptoms

[00:33:53] I know you touched on a few of the symptoms, but I don't know if all of us realize how many things are or could be connected to menopause. Right. Yeah. So for women who are in their late 30s or early 40s, which often is when

[00:34:06] perimenopause begins, the first symptom is a change in period. So whether it's a longer cycle, so longer in between cycles or the period itself changes in terms of the number of days or the heaviness. OK. And a lot of women think that something's wrong

[00:34:26] and that's totally a natural thing that's going to happen as our sex hormones start to change. Right. So that's the number one. And a lot of women will run to their doctor because they think something's wrong even after like one misperiod or something.

[00:34:41] So that's one of the first signs. Another sign is sleeping is all of a sudden not having sound sleep, not being able to fall asleep. And when that happens, then all of the other symptoms can cascade because when

[00:34:57] we're tired, we're less focused, we're more irritable and that's part of low libido because if you're feeling tired and all you want to do is go to sleep, that's obviously not going to be great for the intimate part of your life. Other symptoms can be aches and pains.

[00:35:14] A lot of women don't realize that either. Some of that can be contributed to with weight. If you're carrying a lot of weight, that can be one as well. Others are the night sweats and the hot flashes and those are more directly related.

[00:35:30] We know that's part of it. And the anxiety, there can be anxiety and mood swings. And again, that can all stem from how we're sleeping and how we're eating because if we're eating in a way that's not optimal, that's no effect or sleep as well.

[00:35:47] So I go all over all of that into my program, which is very much also about aligning with the circadian rhythms, which is how the human body is kind of meant to be and in 2023 we're not following that at all.

[00:36:04] So for all of us, myself included, does that just mean sleeping when it's dark and waking when it's light? Or what do you mean by that circadian? Yeah. So that is a big part of it. And it's also starting to wind down at the end of the day.

[00:36:21] So like human evolution is not keeping up with the pace of our life right now. So if you think about it, it's only been a few hundred years that we've had more than candles to find light.

[00:36:38] So once it was dark, people were reading or they were going to sleep. And they got up as soon as the sun rose to do everything. And now we're much more focused on what we're doing, how we're living the outside world coming into the inside world.

[00:36:56] It's our decision again, do you want to move towards health or away from health? Which does mean sleeping when it's dark. So for example, so I've worked with women and for example, they were sleeping from 11 p.m. to 6 p.m. 6 a.m. Right. Seven hours.

[00:37:15] And so all we did was we pushed back. Now it was like, no, it was 12 to 7, 12 to 7. So all we did was we started to push back the time she went to sleep. And again, that takes a lot that can take a lot of effort.

[00:37:31] I always started really slowly with like 10 or 15 minutes. And she didn't understand it. So she got up 15 minutes earlier and she's like, I don't understand. I don't understand how I can feel so much better when I only and when I've only pushed my sleep back.

[00:37:49] And that's the kind of thing like our bodies are really sensitive towards the natural rhythms of the day and seasons and the month for women too. So learning about the elements, the elements in nature and those cycles

[00:38:07] and those rhythms of nature's really helps us as well so that we can have more sound sleep and have more energy during the day. I hear a lot also about computer time, iPad time, telephone time and having

[00:38:22] that computer in your phones, essentially a tiny computer, but having it in your face like I think they said you should put it aside an hour or two hours before you want to go to sleep because of the stimulation to the brain. Have you dealt with that? Yeah.

[00:38:38] Yeah. So there's a couple of things to that. One is the light that's coming from the computer. That's one part of it, which is telling our brain that it's still daytime and it's not time to go to sleep. OK. So that is one definite reason.

[00:38:54] The other reason is that what we're watching is stimulating, especially if you're watching the news. So if you're watching the news, even if it's half an hour before you go to sleep, that is the energy that your body is going to be trying to sleep through.

[00:39:12] It's not helpful to sleep. One thing that I talk about and it's like this need to have information all the time. And I always say like there's nothing that you need to know at 10 o'clock at night

[00:39:28] that's going on on the news that you can't wait to find out in the morning. Very true. It's only going to affect you and your sleep and your health. And the negative informant, even if it's like an exciting movie or something

[00:39:47] that gets you hyped up and it's very much about the outside world, giving you information and giving you things that are going to affect your mood rather than you deciding how you're going to spend that hour. Are you going to read?

[00:40:03] Are you going to do some sort of relaxing physical activity? Some women start taking a poppy that they used to have. It's so stressful on our nervous system when we're on technology all the time where information is coming at us.

[00:40:20] And so that conscious choice of how am I going to start my day? How am I going to end my evening? It's very empowering. I mean, that in and of itself can help you feel more balanced, less stress and even feel happier. Yeah.

[00:40:36] And I think what you said was so true that even trying to push back your schedule, even 15 minutes, it does take effort. I've tried that on my own and it takes a lot of effort to try to move that bedtime back.

[00:40:50] I don't know why, but I guess because we're in our routines, maybe. I don't know, but it is a struggle. Well, it's interesting because I talk about how having a good night's sleep starts in the morning.

[00:41:03] And it's always going to be easier to go to sleep earlier than get up earlier. So I'm glad you're trying this. And again, it's like having that strong boundary and recognizing that if you're tired, everything else takes longer. It definitely does.

[00:41:20] Is there any truth to the blue block? I think they're called blue blockers, but the glasses. Does that block some of the light? Does that help or? It does. It does. And again, that is one piece of it. I think the more important piece is about the stimulation.

[00:41:37] Right. The stimulating part. 100%. Yeah. And I think the news at any time of the day is probably not wise these days. OK, well, if people want to get ahold of you or reach out to you or follow you, where can they find you?

[00:41:53] So my website is margareenass.com. That's the best spot. I have a Facebook group, which is called Vibrant through menopause. And I do videos on there. I'm going to start doing more on Instagram and even TikTok again, just to connect

[00:42:14] with women to help them understand that this is not inevitable. So the program that I offer, which is called Thrive through Permanent and menopause is for women, professional women who really want to get ahead of the symptoms before they

[00:42:31] really start to worsen because they know that they don't want to end up on this roller coaster of emotions and things that are really going to set them back. And they want to take the burden off of themselves to work with an expert.

[00:42:45] So they don't have to figure it out because there's so much information out there and you could research two hours a day and you still would not make a dent in finding out. Oh, wow. And again, a lot of that's going to be very confusing.

[00:42:58] It's going to be about hormones and hormone levels and all that's important. But what's more important is how you're choosing to live your life. And there is hope, ladies. So please reach out if I can support you in any way.

[00:43:15] Well, I love what you're doing and I love your message and especially that there is hope because I think like you said, a lot of us just think this is the way it's going to be. So just brace yourself. Here we go.

[00:43:27] So I love that you're changing that. Yeah, I think having hope about something and again, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. So hearing this message rather than looking to a friend and being scared about what's going to happen or even looking at your mother or your grandmother.

[00:43:45] And here's the thing with they're going through. They're not living in their body like you are. Right. And that's not a predictor about what's going to happen. I think that's a great message. So thank you for all that you're doing. Thank you, Michelle.

[00:44:00] And greatly appreciate you sharing with us today, sharing all your wisdom. It's my pleasure. Thank you so much. Thank you. Bye bye. Bye. As we wrap up today's episode, I hope Marjorie sharing her knowledge, experience and wisdom has helped you in some way.

[00:44:17] I think one of the main takeaways for me was that there is hope to make it through perimenopause and menopause with less symptoms and less severe symptoms than I originally hoped for. There are more natural ways to deal with the symptoms that can often be

[00:44:31] alleviated by lifestyle changes. I have known for quite some time that boundaries can be very necessary to protect our mental health, but I don't think I'd realize how important it can also be to protect our physical health before talking to Marjorie.

[00:44:45] It's sort of amazing how easily we give up things like our sleep and other necessities in the name of love or just even being nice to others when really we should be showing some kindness to ourselves.

[00:44:59] I also don't think I'd heard of a menopause coach prior to Marjorie, and there isn't much help for menopause out there as I researched for this show. It was shocking and sad, really. So what stood out to you? I would love to hear from you.

[00:45:13] As always, I hope this episode helps at least one person. And with that, I hope you have a blessed week, my friend. Thank you for listening to the Beauty and the Mess. If you enjoyed what you heard, please share it with a friend.

[00:45:29] And if you haven't already, please subscribe, rate and review this podcast on your favorite pod player. If you have any questions or comments, any topic ideas you would like to hear about or you think you would be a great guest on the show,

[00:45:42] you can reach me directly at thebeautyandthemess.com. Thanks for listening.