Ep. 85 Understanding Stress and Its Impact on Health with Dorothy Cook

[00:00:06] I'm Michele Simms and this is The Beauty in the Mess, a community where people who crave a shift in mindset, personal growth, and connection to like-minded people come together to start rewriting their stories. Through engaging, honest, and insightful conversations, the show will help you embrace the mess to recognize the meanings and the lessons it holds and discover its hidden treasures to help you start making a mindset shift. Let's listen, learn, and reclaim who we were meant to be.

[00:00:34] Hi friend, welcome to The Beauty in the Mess. In this episode, Dorothy Cook, a stress reduction specialist, shares her personal journey of overcoming a major health crisis caused by ignoring her stress. Dorothy discusses the importance of addressing stress to prevent health crises and details to her approach as far as teaching clients how to manage stress effectively.

[00:00:56] She elaborates on five key principles including body awareness, the limbic system, identity, triggers, and stress-reducing techniques. Dorothy also highlights the significance of tiny habits, internal motivation, and the power of the mind in healing the body.

[00:01:12] The conversation touches on societal expectations, the benefits of finding community, and Dorothy's plans to expand her training program to help more people combat stress and improve their health.

[00:01:23] Dorothy is a stress reduction specialist, coach, speaker, and now international best-selling author. Her talent for helping others effectively tackle stress and anxiety make her a highly sought-after coach in addressing health issues. Her primary tools include neurological and somatic techniques. Through online groups and personalized sessions, she empowers primarily women to reclaim healthier and more fulfilling lives.

[00:01:48] With over 35 plus years of experience in her field, Dorothy has built a global clientele, and when she's not working, she's known to zone out on jigsaw puzzles and podcasts, to be artistically creative, or to slow down yet another walk because of intently gazing through the eyes of a camera lens.

[00:02:07] She currently resides in Kingston, Ontario, Canada.

[00:02:10] Hi, I'm Michelle Sims, your host. I'm just a regular person who, along with my family, have had our share of messes that we too have had to overcome.

[00:02:18] Along the way, I got curious as to how others get through their messes and even triumph over them.

[00:02:23] Maybe there's a better way, a faster way. Maybe we can accelerate our journeys by learning from someone else.

[00:02:29] That started my pursuit. I think we can all learn from each other through the sharing of our experiences, lessons, and knowledge.

[00:02:36] So join me for episode 85 of The Beauty and the Mess called Understanding Stress and Its Impact on Health with Dorothy Cook.

[00:02:44] So without further ado, let's dive right into today's conversation.

[00:02:50] Hi, Dorothy. Welcome to The Beauty and the Mess. I'm so glad to have you with me today.

[00:02:54] Thank you so much for having me, Michelle.

[00:02:56] Absolutely. Now, I know you're a stress reduction specialist, but before we kind of dig into that,

[00:03:02] I was wondering if you could tell us like the part of your journey that's led you down the path that you became a stress reduction specialist.

[00:03:10] I would absolutely love to share that because stress actually in my early 40s, I totally ignored it.

[00:03:18] And then I walked straight into a major health crisis.

[00:03:22] And it was purely because I ignored my stress. It absolutely could have been avoided.

[00:03:27] And so my mission in life now is to help people to go, okay, I need to deal with my stress so I don't have a health crisis and to have to step away from work.

[00:03:37] So that's where it began.

[00:03:39] And because I've been able to get some amazing stories with some of the clients that I have worked with in terms of their health issues,

[00:03:46] that keeps me even more highly motivated.

[00:03:49] So yeah, I just love this, what I do.

[00:03:54] Yeah. How do you teach people to figure out when the stress level is too high?

[00:04:00] And what I mean by that is what I've learned about myself over the years is that I function extremely well under stress.

[00:04:07] Mentally, I function very well.

[00:04:10] I've had to learn how to do that, right?

[00:04:13] But I've also come to realize that my body does not do well.

[00:04:18] So, and I had a health crisis and that's what made me go, whoa, wait a minute.

[00:04:24] But, you know, before that happened, you would have never convinced me that that stress was a problem.

[00:04:29] Does that make sense?

[00:04:30] Oh, totally.

[00:04:32] In fact, just a couple of days ago, I love to learn.

[00:04:35] Somebody was talking about how your cells inside your body react to stress.

[00:04:40] So you can be taking all these wonderful supplements and doing all the right things.

[00:04:45] But if you're under a lot of stress, like you were and I was, okay, your cells literally shut down and don't open.

[00:04:53] So think of it like a door closing.

[00:04:55] As long as that stress is high, that door is closed and it's not receiving all the goodness that you're trying to feed your body.

[00:05:02] When you deal with the stress appropriately, all right, then the cells start to open up and receive the goodness that you want them to have and become healthy.

[00:05:12] So they know medically that repressed emotions, especially long term, is what causes health crisis, health issues.

[00:05:22] So we can ignore them for a long time, which is what I did.

[00:05:27] And it sounds like maybe you did as well.

[00:05:29] All right.

[00:05:30] But it'll kick you in the backside if you don't start dealing with it differently.

[00:05:34] And I love the fact that you operate really well under stress, because what that's telling me is that your brain knows how to handle stress.

[00:05:45] Some people don't.

[00:05:46] They go into fight, flight or freeze.

[00:05:48] We've heard those terms before.

[00:05:50] And when that happens, that means it's controlling their life.

[00:05:54] You're not controlling it.

[00:05:55] So it puts them in a little bit of a different camp than what you were in.

[00:05:59] So what you were talking about is I have this high stress.

[00:06:02] I had to deal with it.

[00:06:04] But because it just kept coming at you or for whatever reason, your body started going, I'm feeling tired.

[00:06:11] I'm feeling worn out or it's popping up.

[00:06:13] Think of squeezing a balloon and it popping out the other side.

[00:06:17] OK, just that stress and that pressure.

[00:06:19] It has to do something.

[00:06:21] Right.

[00:06:22] And so it hits our body physically.

[00:06:25] But it's needless if we learn how to deal with our stress appropriately.

[00:06:31] Yeah, I agree.

[00:06:32] I regret everything now.

[00:06:34] But at the time I thought, hey, I'm doing this.

[00:06:36] I'm managing it.

[00:06:37] I'm doing OK.

[00:06:38] But my body was like, oh, you did an awesome job.

[00:06:43] You survived.

[00:06:44] And that's what I tell my clients is survive any way you can.

[00:06:47] Just survive.

[00:06:47] Because if you're not, you're dead.

[00:06:51] Or close to it.

[00:06:52] So good job.

[00:06:53] Thanks.

[00:06:54] But like you said, we can all learn much better ways to try to cope and take care of our body and not just our mind.

[00:07:02] Right.

[00:07:02] So.

[00:07:03] Yeah.

[00:07:04] Yeah.

[00:07:05] Do you teach your clients like any kind of methodologies or ways to deal with the stress?

[00:07:12] I actually do.

[00:07:13] I have five principles that I teach them.

[00:07:17] And the number one principle is I call it body talk.

[00:07:20] A more technical term is somatic.

[00:07:22] S-O-M-A-T-I-C.

[00:07:24] So your physical body will tell you when you're stressed before your emotions will.

[00:07:31] They have done research on this.

[00:07:33] And if you learn to listen and know how your body is speaking to you, then you can shut it down and turn a corner.

[00:07:41] For example, I had a girlfriend of mine.

[00:07:43] She ended up in emergency last weekend because it looked like she had a stroke.

[00:07:48] Her mouth was drooping and words were slurring and she was struggling to walk.

[00:07:55] They told her there was no evidence of a stroke whatsoever.

[00:08:00] So I said to her, I think your limbic system is acting out and this is how it's coming out.

[00:08:07] Right.

[00:08:07] Now she's still having to work with these health issues.

[00:08:10] But as she's learning to deal with her stress differently, her mouth isn't drooping as much.

[00:08:16] Her talk, her voice is getting much stronger and her walk is getting more solid because she's taking the pressure off the pressure system.

[00:08:23] All right.

[00:08:24] So it's amazing what can change when you handle stress.

[00:08:28] So there's five things I teach them.

[00:08:31] So the first one is how to read the body.

[00:08:33] The second one is to work with the limbic system and that's the emotional center of your brain, the fight, flight or freeze.

[00:08:40] And then identity is a huge component.

[00:08:44] Growing up, we learned to be what others needed us to be.

[00:08:47] And so we, a lot of people, excuse me, they strive, they perform, they're always on high alert or whatever, just because they're not really who they are.

[00:08:58] That when I say who they really are, that's who they were designed to be originally.

[00:09:03] They've just, they've learned to be a superstar.

[00:09:05] I was an amazing superwoman.

[00:09:07] If people want to really know, I, you want something done, give it to me.

[00:09:12] And I got it done.

[00:09:13] But I had some dysfunctional ways.

[00:09:15] I had one way relationships.

[00:09:17] I wasn't vulnerable.

[00:09:18] I didn't know how to deal with my emotions.

[00:09:20] And so that all compounded on me, but it was an identity issue.

[00:09:24] And I had an identity crisis when my health went down because I was no longer a superwoman and I had to be dependent on others to help me make it through life in that moment.

[00:09:33] So those are three of them.

[00:09:35] Triggers, learning about triggers, because we all have triggers, all right?

[00:09:39] When you understand what a trigger is, it's an emotional reaction to something.

[00:09:43] So for example, I'm the youngest of six kids and I felt like I got the leftovers.

[00:09:49] So when somebody gives me the leftovers in relationship, I react to that.

[00:09:55] But now that I know it's my trigger, I can pull it down really fast.

[00:09:59] And it doesn't destroy a relationship.

[00:10:01] I can address it in a healthy manner.

[00:10:03] And then number five, I'm kind of blanking out on where it is right now.

[00:10:07] But there's five things that I teach in my eight-week course that I teach, which there's one in January, actually.

[00:10:14] And yeah, when they learn these principles, they can bring their stress down.

[00:10:18] And when they bring their stress down and handle it properly, then their health issues will begin to diminish.

[00:10:24] And I'll give you a really amazing example of that.

[00:10:28] So one of the ladies in one of my groups had seizures her whole life since age three.

[00:10:34] And she took my group training and medically documented.

[00:10:39] She started at within the group time.

[00:10:43] She started, it went down to 40.

[00:10:45] It started at, I think, 42%.

[00:10:47] And now it's up to 53% seizure reduction activity.

[00:10:52] Wow.

[00:10:53] Which medically is unheard of.

[00:10:55] Now, I'm not working with the medical.

[00:10:58] I am working with the stress.

[00:11:00] And when the stress is released, your medical issues can course correct.

[00:11:06] Just like my girlfriend with her, what looked like a stroke.

[00:11:09] I've actually had several people call me up and say,

[00:11:12] Hey, I went to the doctors, thought I had a stroke.

[00:11:14] And they're saying, No, you didn't.

[00:11:16] And we work with their stress, teaching them how to work with the brain.

[00:11:21] All right.

[00:11:22] And then it comes, those symptoms, they disappear or diminish.

[00:11:27] So it's really critical.

[00:11:28] If people could understand how stress is part of their health issues,

[00:11:35] like 90% of health issues are stress related.

[00:11:39] That's crazy.

[00:11:40] That's high.

[00:11:41] So we could put the medical system on holidays for a couple of weeks.

[00:11:47] If people would learn how to deal with their stress appropriately,

[00:11:51] which is deal with it.

[00:11:52] Don't diminish it, deny it, ignore it.

[00:11:55] Those are the ways most people do.

[00:11:57] And that's what I did.

[00:11:58] And yeah.

[00:11:59] And so it's just like, yeah, let's learn how the brain affects the health.

[00:12:05] And then you can make healthier choices and stay healthier.

[00:12:09] That's great.

[00:12:10] Right.

[00:12:10] So I'm wondering, like, if you're seeing an uptick in the amount of stress with all the

[00:12:15] political upheaval and everything that's going on, and just really even beyond that,

[00:12:21] just social media in general.

[00:12:23] Yeah.

[00:12:24] I think people comparing their lives to other people, what have you.

[00:12:28] Do you think all of that is making things worse?

[00:12:31] Do you see that?

[00:12:33] Okay.

[00:12:34] Oh, totally.

[00:12:35] Absolutely.

[00:12:36] There's no stability out there.

[00:12:39] There's nothing almost familiar anymore.

[00:12:43] Like if we look at the whole COVID era and how that really broke families and systems

[00:12:49] and health, it was really atrocious what that did.

[00:12:53] And we're still seeing results from that.

[00:12:56] Right.

[00:12:57] And so you take that, even isolation in itself is a very high stressor.

[00:13:03] And in COVID, they taught everybody to isolate.

[00:13:06] So there are still a lot of people dealing with the isolation issue and scared to come

[00:13:11] out in public.

[00:13:12] A lot of people are relaxed now, but you still see them out there.

[00:13:16] Oh, yeah.

[00:13:17] I know so.

[00:13:18] And yeah, stress will build upon stress.

[00:13:23] See, here's the thing.

[00:13:24] The brain doesn't forget anything.

[00:13:26] It doesn't forget.

[00:13:27] You might, depending on your age, or if you just say, I'm not going to think about that,

[00:13:32] you put it on the shelf and forget about it.

[00:13:34] Your brain doesn't forget.

[00:13:36] So you then add another stress and then another trigger comes at you.

[00:13:42] And then your body starts breaking down and it can be scary and it can be quick.

[00:13:49] But the problem is the physical reactions haven't been quick.

[00:13:53] It's the building up of the stress that then pushes it like an avalanche over the edge.

[00:14:01] And then you see it all come to play, whether it's cancer or diabetes.

[00:14:05] There's an amazing book by Dr. Gabor Mate.

[00:14:10] Oh, Gabor Mate.

[00:14:11] Sorry, M-A-T-E.

[00:14:13] And he talks about repressed emotions and how they interplay with health.

[00:14:19] And his conclusion, he was a typical medical doctor just treating the physical symptoms

[00:14:25] at the beginning of his book.

[00:14:28] He described how he used to operate.

[00:14:30] And then one day he asked one of his clients who was dying or patients,

[00:14:34] and she told them this amazingly sad story.

[00:14:37] And from that point, he started to ask other clients their story.

[00:14:42] And by the end of the book, his conclusion is all, not some, all major health issues.

[00:14:50] Well, he didn't even put the word major in there.

[00:14:52] He just said all health issues are stemmed from repressed emotions.

[00:14:56] So repressed emotions cause stress.

[00:14:58] Repressed emotions can be tied into a lot of different things.

[00:15:03] So you want to like pulling a root system, like a dandelion has a root.

[00:15:08] If we don't get that root system out, the dandelion keeps growing.

[00:15:11] The health issue keeps showing up.

[00:15:13] But you pull the root system out and it doesn't have to be a long time of healing.

[00:15:19] Like I used to work with the inner healing modality and it would take people years to work through

[00:15:24] their stuff.

[00:15:25] But now that I've gotten a hold of the brain, see, because the brain issue was my issue.

[00:15:29] That's why my health went down.

[00:15:31] That's why the doctors couldn't tell me what was wrong with me.

[00:15:35] They could verify there was something very much wrong with me, but they never ever could

[00:15:39] discover it.

[00:15:40] And the reason why is because it was my brain.

[00:15:42] My brain had gone rogue and it had gone overactive.

[00:15:45] So think of a car engine that's running hot and red.

[00:15:49] It's going to do some damage.

[00:15:50] Well, that's what caused mine and the breaker switch in my physical body finally flipped

[00:15:56] off.

[00:15:56] And I was bedridden for the first three months and I couldn't work for a year.

[00:16:00] And it really took 10 years to recover.

[00:16:03] So that's what the limbic system does.

[00:16:06] It can really, it's there to protect you, but you want to learn how to control it so it

[00:16:12] doesn't control you and get overreactive.

[00:16:14] Like a breaker switch in the house, when there's a surge of power, the breaker switch will automatically

[00:16:19] go off.

[00:16:20] In your brain, the limbic system will, it has to release the pressure somehow.

[00:16:27] Now, and it will come out in terms of health issues.

[00:16:31] It will come out in terms of fight, flight or freeze.

[00:16:34] It's just, I remember one point where I just, I was walking across this when I was employed

[00:16:39] and I froze.

[00:16:40] And it was just like this, there was a swirling around me and blurring out of everything.

[00:16:46] And I was in my own little cocoon and I was just, it's just like, I was horrified.

[00:16:50] And I kind of shook my head, came out of it.

[00:16:52] And I ran to my car and dealt with the revelation that I had caused some major loss financially

[00:17:02] for my, the company I was working for because I was so stressed.

[00:17:06] I'd missed the change of administration and I dealt with it in the old way and they were

[00:17:11] doing it with the new way.

[00:17:12] And it was just like, but that was a sign of fight, flight or freeze.

[00:17:16] Like me going into my limbic system, it's stopping my world until I could recuperate.

[00:17:23] I've had clients who can't go out the front door.

[00:17:25] They'll climb out a window and they'll run.

[00:17:27] That's the fight, flight part, the flight part of the fight, flight, freeze.

[00:17:31] And we all know angry people who are just ready to verbally give it to you.

[00:17:35] And some physically do.

[00:17:37] And that again is that limbic system.

[00:17:40] And if you learn how to manage it in appropriate ways, and it's not difficult.

[00:17:46] All right.

[00:17:47] Then you can stop yourself from being out of control and get the controls back.

[00:17:53] So if someone's listening and they feel like their stress level is, they're recognizing it's

[00:17:59] too high, where should they start?

[00:18:01] They need to reach out and get help.

[00:18:03] If they can't change it on their own.

[00:18:06] So you can, there's stressors or there's two of them.

[00:18:09] There's an internal external.

[00:18:11] Sometimes you can change the external.

[00:18:13] Let's say a person's at work and the stress is just way too high.

[00:18:17] I ended up quitting because the stress was way too high.

[00:18:19] My brain couldn't handle it.

[00:18:20] My health couldn't handle it.

[00:18:21] So I quit.

[00:18:22] All right.

[00:18:23] So that's an external circumstances.

[00:18:24] But when it's internal, like anxiety or panic attacks.

[00:18:29] All right.

[00:18:30] You want specialized help.

[00:18:31] Somebody who understands the limbic system.

[00:18:33] And again, if I can share a couple of stories, I had a lady with almost 70 years of dental

[00:18:40] phobia and trauma.

[00:18:42] And within a short little bit of working with me, we got her walking in like an adult because

[00:18:47] I taught her how to work with the brain.

[00:18:50] All right.

[00:18:50] There's some other things you can do out there in terms of breath work and relaxation, go for

[00:18:55] a walk and exercise.

[00:18:56] And those are all great.

[00:18:57] But what happens when you don't have time to do those?

[00:19:00] What I teach, and that's why I encourage people to get a hold of me.

[00:19:05] All right.

[00:19:05] They can have a free chat and then they can step into the group if they really want to

[00:19:10] do a deeper dive.

[00:19:11] And I'd love for them to do that.

[00:19:13] But what I teach takes seconds or minutes to do and can just change things like black

[00:19:20] and white.

[00:19:22] Once you know the tools and you're used to working with them and by the end of the eight

[00:19:26] week course, they then will have the tools to, but they have to keep working with it.

[00:19:32] I'm not promising miracles.

[00:19:33] I have a lady in the current course that just finished, again, another person who's

[00:19:38] seizuring.

[00:19:39] And she just went and saw her specialist and they said, wow, we like what were you doing?

[00:19:43] Keep doing what you're doing.

[00:19:44] And she had been told that she's working with the limbic system and she could see it medically

[00:19:48] in the results that she was seeing.

[00:19:52] So don't deny, don't minimize.

[00:19:54] If you're seeing stress, then make a choice to find somebody that can help you.

[00:20:01] I'm not the be all end all for everybody, but I am really good at what I do.

[00:20:05] I'm training up others to do it.

[00:20:07] And find somebody that knows how to work with the limbic system.

[00:20:11] If you're dealing with stress, especially panic attacks, anxiety, or even health issues,

[00:20:16] especially if the doctors can't diagnose it, I'm going to suggest you might have a limbic

[00:20:21] system.

[00:20:22] Hey, out there, if you're, if you go to something that the doctors can't figure out what's going

[00:20:27] on, get on a call with me and I'll help you figure out if it's the limbic system or not.

[00:20:31] And I'm really serious about that.

[00:20:33] And it's a free call.

[00:20:34] Okay.

[00:20:35] Because it looks very similar to like your physical health issues are real.

[00:20:41] Your emotions of anxiety and panic attacks, they're really good.

[00:20:46] All right.

[00:20:47] But does the cart come before the horse or the horse before the cart?

[00:20:51] Well, I'm going to help you to deal with the root system so that your health issues, your

[00:20:56] emotional or your physical will then be able to be managed and not on the high end of where

[00:21:04] you're struggling to breathe and your blood pressure's at 200 over 100.

[00:21:08] All right.

[00:21:09] Which several of my clients were.

[00:21:11] All right.

[00:21:11] When they went into emerge and it was not documented as a stroke, it wasn't.

[00:21:18] And we, and the blood pressure is now down to 140 something.

[00:21:21] So it's much better, like closer to normal.

[00:21:24] So the answer to your question is find somebody that can help you.

[00:21:28] I work with people globally.

[00:21:29] I work online.

[00:21:30] So I'm a great resource.

[00:21:32] But if I'm not the right person, I'll refer you on.

[00:21:35] So get help.

[00:21:37] Don't be stupid like I was.

[00:21:39] I'm not calling anybody stupid, but my choices were stupid when I said I can do this.

[00:21:45] I was the rock of Gibraltar because I didn't know how to reach out to people.

[00:21:50] That was my biggest issue.

[00:21:51] And so then when I failed myself and my health crashed, I learned to come into balance.

[00:21:57] So I'm just saying people reach out.

[00:21:59] You don't have to be sick.

[00:22:01] You don't have to deal with the stressors the way you are.

[00:22:04] And start sooner than later.

[00:22:06] Be able to say I am worth something.

[00:22:08] I am valuable.

[00:22:10] Rather than waiting for crisis, start on the low end because it's way easier to turn a small

[00:22:16] little sailboat around than it is a big tugboat or a big cruise ship.

[00:22:19] That takes longer.

[00:22:22] The longer you struggle, right?

[00:22:24] It can take longer.

[00:22:25] But with the limbic system, like I said, 75 years of dental phobia was gone within a matter

[00:22:31] of hours.

[00:22:32] I even had to sleep.

[00:22:34] Somebody was sleep insomnia.

[00:22:36] Again, it was trauma related.

[00:22:38] The origins of it within one session.

[00:22:40] She was sleeping and she's been sleeping for about a year now.

[00:22:44] Wow.

[00:22:45] That's impressive.

[00:22:46] Since I worked with her.

[00:22:47] So it did.

[00:22:48] It is.

[00:22:49] And see, medically, they've even documented that when the limbic system lets go, it's instant

[00:22:56] and it can be permanent.

[00:22:57] It can be that fast.

[00:22:59] And that's what baffles people because they look at this and go, oh, well, it must have

[00:23:03] been this or that or because it just it's beyond belief.

[00:23:07] But I'm saying there can be some really fast turnarounds.

[00:23:11] And I had a lady 11 years bedridden.

[00:23:15] All right.

[00:23:16] Medical system failed to help her.

[00:23:17] All right.

[00:23:18] I am not a miracle worker, but I gave the tools she needed.

[00:23:20] And the limbic system was one of them.

[00:23:23] She's now walking.

[00:23:24] Wow.

[00:23:26] Without any supports.

[00:23:27] So what did her doctor say?

[00:23:30] You know what?

[00:23:31] I've never asked.

[00:23:32] Oh, you should have asked.

[00:23:36] That would actually be a good one.

[00:23:38] I like that.

[00:23:39] I'm going to do that.

[00:23:40] But yeah, see, but she had a lot more to deal with.

[00:23:43] She had some truckload of garbage to deal with.

[00:23:47] But yeah, for most people, if it's just the limbic system, when you learn to deal with

[00:23:51] it and you stop it from being on high all the time, you can sleep better.

[00:23:56] Your relationships are better.

[00:23:58] Your health is better.

[00:24:00] You love life better.

[00:24:01] It's just it just changes your world.

[00:24:03] So go find somebody that works with the limbic system.

[00:24:07] So one thing I would say listening to you talk is that I feel like society kind of teaches

[00:24:12] us to try to be that martyr or like you said, you were like, I can do this.

[00:24:18] I mean, we're taught to be that way, right?

[00:24:20] Otherwise, we're weak or we're this or we're that.

[00:24:23] And so I think a lot of people keep trying to do it on their own because they think that's

[00:24:29] what they're supposed to do or that's what's expected.

[00:24:31] Don't you feel that way?

[00:24:33] Well, there's definitely family systems that teach it.

[00:24:36] And so it sounds like your family system was similar to mine, you know.

[00:24:40] So I came up, I grew up in a farming family.

[00:24:43] So I have a really good work ethic.

[00:24:45] All right.

[00:24:45] Right.

[00:24:46] And we were taught to be very independent.

[00:24:49] So but when I look at what's going out there, especially with the medical system, they're

[00:24:55] creating a dependency on pharmaceuticals where there is so much that we can do prior to

[00:25:02] pharmaceuticals.

[00:25:02] I agree.

[00:25:03] So again, if people just kind of look at some of the patterns that are choices that they're

[00:25:10] making, then just the ones that aren't healthy, make a different choice.

[00:25:14] If you can't make a different choice, then get help to make a healthier choice.

[00:25:19] Some choices can be made.

[00:25:20] But what I am really putting out there is an alternative.

[00:25:24] See, here in Canada, because I'm Canadian, the American will not know that before the parliament,

[00:25:30] we have a bill that wants to shut down nutraceuticals and put them in the same category as pharmaceuticals.

[00:25:36] Well, that's going to shut down about 75 to 80 percent of all of the health business.

[00:25:41] All right.

[00:25:42] But you can't shut down somebody that's working with stress.

[00:25:46] All right.

[00:25:46] Because there's no pills.

[00:25:48] There's no ongoing medication needed.

[00:25:51] And so if people would learn to deal with their stress, learn to deal with the limbic system,

[00:25:56] they won't end up in a system that's going to eat them up and spit them out.

[00:26:01] You know what?

[00:26:01] Let me be nicer than that.

[00:26:03] But for some people, that's the way it's been.

[00:26:05] The system is breaking.

[00:26:07] It's not helpful.

[00:26:08] And we need to be able to be empowered.

[00:26:11] And that's what find somebody that will empower you.

[00:26:14] So when you're looking for somebody or a system, find systems that empower you.

[00:26:20] Because pharmaceuticals, the fact is, if you Google it, you're going to find out that they're

[00:26:23] one of the highest numbers of killing people, whether it's properly administrated or not

[00:26:30] properly administrated.

[00:26:32] Right.

[00:26:32] But again, you deal with your brain, you're not going to harm anything.

[00:26:36] You deal with natural products, you got a way better chance of not getting into pharmaceuticals.

[00:26:43] Right.

[00:26:43] You know, now my going back to my lady with seizures that had 53% reductions, her seizure

[00:26:52] specialist, they're looking at reducing medication.

[00:26:55] Wow.

[00:26:56] That's great.

[00:26:58] All right.

[00:26:59] Yeah.

[00:26:59] And I don't recommend anybody getting off of their medications by themselves.

[00:27:04] The doctor put you on it, then get a doctor to take you off of it.

[00:27:07] That's one of the reasons why my friend that ended up in emergency this weekend is she's

[00:27:12] a former nurse and she was taking herself off some of the products and she ran into some

[00:27:17] problems.

[00:27:18] Okay.

[00:27:18] So I don't advise that at all.

[00:27:21] Work with a doctor with medication.

[00:27:22] Right.

[00:27:23] But when your body is healing and it won't need as much medication, then the doctor will know

[00:27:30] that through the tests and the blood works.

[00:27:32] So empower yourself.

[00:27:34] I love doctors, but they're not God.

[00:27:38] Right.

[00:27:38] We need to know what's right for us.

[00:27:41] Like for me, the medical system failed me.

[00:27:43] For others, I know it's helped them to survive.

[00:27:47] All right.

[00:27:48] But in the midst of our choices, we need to be empowered and not bullied or said, like,

[00:27:56] if you work with the natural end, we will not work with you on this end.

[00:28:00] That's to me is wrong.

[00:28:01] I agree.

[00:28:02] And I'm just being really blatant.

[00:28:04] Oh, good.

[00:28:05] Like, give us choices.

[00:28:06] Don't take our choices away.

[00:28:08] And so I'm encouraging people to do is look at the limbic system and you've got another

[00:28:12] tool.

[00:28:12] You've got another choice that you can make.

[00:28:14] If you want to go to the pharmaceutical, great.

[00:28:16] Go for it.

[00:28:17] But if you don't want, great.

[00:28:19] Go for that.

[00:28:20] Have choices.

[00:28:23] Yeah.

[00:28:23] And I would also encourage people to look up whatever pharmaceutical they want them to

[00:28:29] want to put them on and see what all the side effects are.

[00:28:32] Right.

[00:28:32] Because to me, every drug causes something else.

[00:28:37] And then you're on another medicine trying to fix what that one caused.

[00:28:40] And it becomes awful.

[00:28:43] Yeah.

[00:28:44] Yeah.

[00:28:44] And if people have never heard that before, you can Google it.

[00:28:48] It's a fact.

[00:28:49] Michelle isn't talking about her own opinion.

[00:28:52] Those are facts that she just talked about.

[00:28:54] Right.

[00:28:54] So it's way healthier.

[00:28:56] If you value your health, it's way better not to have to be dependent on medication.

[00:29:02] But medication for some is needed.

[00:29:05] And please hear me.

[00:29:07] I am for medication when it's needed.

[00:29:09] But if it's not, work with the natural remedies.

[00:29:13] Work with alternatives like working with your brain.

[00:29:17] Most people don't understand that they can help their health when they deal with their stress.

[00:29:21] Like they get it at the head level, but they don't really understand it.

[00:29:25] That's why I love to share some of the stories because it really helps people to understand how physical health issues can shift for the better when you deal with your stress.

[00:29:36] When you deal with the limbic system.

[00:29:37] Yeah, I think part of that is probably because some people have dealt with medical problems for decades, if not years and years.

[00:29:47] And so to think that you can be rid of it that quickly or even eight weeks.

[00:29:53] It's hard for the brain to comprehend when all these doctors tell you, I can't figure it out or let's try this and that doesn't work.

[00:30:02] And they try something.

[00:30:02] You know what I mean?

[00:30:03] So people struggle with that, I think.

[00:30:06] Sure.

[00:30:07] And I gave two really amazing examples where they were, you know, shifted within hours.

[00:30:12] But you need to hear that the majority of people don't shift within hours.

[00:30:17] Right.

[00:30:18] That's why I have an eight week group.

[00:30:19] What they walk out with is the tools to shift their health.

[00:30:24] All right.

[00:30:25] When they apply the tools properly.

[00:30:27] So again, I'm not promising miracles.

[00:30:30] If you walk in with diabetes, you might have diabetes when you walk out.

[00:30:33] Same with a broken arm.

[00:30:35] But can you shift that?

[00:30:39] I don't know.

[00:30:39] But you won't know unless you work with the brain and see what happens when you do.

[00:30:46] Oh, I'm a big advocate of how powerful our brain.

[00:30:50] I mean, I think we have no idea how powerful our brains really are and how much your brain has the ability to heal your body.

[00:30:58] Oh, yeah, totally.

[00:31:00] Just that we most of us don't get to the point that we tap into that or figure out how to tap or learn how.

[00:31:07] I think they say that we use less than 10% of our brain.

[00:31:12] Right.

[00:31:13] Yeah.

[00:31:13] Like it's really, really low.

[00:31:14] Don't quote me on the 10%, but it's really low.

[00:31:17] Like, wow, we've got these brilliant people only using, you know, 10% or less.

[00:31:22] What would they be if they did the whole brain?

[00:31:24] Exactly.

[00:31:25] Or even 50%.

[00:31:27] Wow.

[00:31:28] Oh, wow.

[00:31:29] I'd love that.

[00:31:31] So I know you talk about staying.

[00:31:35] You said staying in the familiar keeps people from changing.

[00:31:38] What do you mean by that?

[00:31:40] Well, old habits die hard.

[00:31:42] It's easier to stay stuck than to make changes.

[00:31:45] Most people with their health, they won't change until they feel the ouch or, hey, doctor, I've got heartburn.

[00:31:52] Well, here's a pill or stop eating this.

[00:31:55] Hey, doc, I've got a headache that's happening all the time.

[00:31:58] What kind of stress are you under?

[00:32:00] Like, this is what makes them change.

[00:32:03] Now, they may not change.

[00:32:05] They may just go for a pill.

[00:32:07] Now, if they have a smart doctor, the doctor will say, here's a pill.

[00:32:10] Plus, get off these foods or start doing some exercise or do this or that.

[00:32:16] But, yeah, I've forgotten your question.

[00:32:18] This is funny.

[00:32:20] I won't fake it.

[00:32:22] How staying in the familiar keeps us from changing.

[00:32:25] Thank you.

[00:32:26] Yeah, it does.

[00:32:26] Yes, it does, because the familiar is safe.

[00:32:29] When my health broke, everything became unfamiliar and it felt really overwhelming.

[00:32:34] And one of the ways to stop the overwhelm is to stay in the familiar.

[00:32:37] And another thing is if people do not have a support system, studies have shown they need one person, just one person, and they can go forward.

[00:32:47] Without a support system, they will not be able to change.

[00:32:50] They will stay stuck.

[00:32:51] All right.

[00:32:52] So familiar is safety.

[00:32:54] Familiar is like a Linus in his teddy blanket.

[00:32:58] His blanket or his teddy bear wrapped around him.

[00:33:01] He's safe as long as he carries what he's familiar with.

[00:33:05] Right.

[00:33:05] And so, again, for those that love change and adventure, no problem.

[00:33:10] For those that don't, that's where it becomes hard.

[00:33:13] And maybe they haven't been allowed to be independent.

[00:33:16] Maybe they have been under a brutal system growing up.

[00:33:21] Well, then that means they're going to go into other unhealthy relationships or marriages.

[00:33:26] So we carry from our childhood into our adulthood.

[00:33:29] That's one of the things I look at in my program is the pattern.

[00:33:33] What pattern did you walk in as a child?

[00:33:35] What pattern are you walking in now?

[00:33:37] Which one do you want to change?

[00:33:39] Or do you want to change?

[00:33:40] So the familiar is just...

[00:33:42] So here's the thing about the brain.

[00:33:44] All right.

[00:33:45] So think of the brain when I use my...

[00:33:49] When I do something familiar, it's in my long-term memory.

[00:33:52] So think of the Grand Canyon and the water flowing through.

[00:33:56] It's not going to change.

[00:33:57] Right.

[00:33:58] All right.

[00:33:58] But when I do something that's unfamiliar, it doesn't have the pathway, same pathway in the brain.

[00:34:05] All right.

[00:34:05] So now it's going to start building a new pathway.

[00:34:09] If I try, for example, right with my non-dominant hand, my brain doesn't know what to do with that

[00:34:15] because the pathways haven't been built up.

[00:34:17] And that's one of the reasons why it's harder because it doesn't have the pathways

[00:34:22] like the Grand Canyon to follow.

[00:34:24] It's trying to build it as it goes.

[00:34:26] Does that make sense to you?

[00:34:28] What I just said?

[00:34:29] Yeah, I think so.

[00:34:31] Yeah.

[00:34:32] It makes the brain create a new way of doing things.

[00:34:36] So...

[00:34:37] And so it's unfamiliar to the brain.

[00:34:39] So it has to figure it out.

[00:34:41] And it's like building a new roadway.

[00:34:43] If I go out into the country and there's no roadway, all right, and I have to figure out

[00:34:49] how I'm going to get across that bumpy, gravelly field or whatever, I'm going to be taking my time

[00:34:54] and it's a lot slower.

[00:34:56] All right.

[00:34:57] That's kind of the new pathway.

[00:34:59] But if I'm in Germany on the Autobahn, when you can drive as fast as you want or the Japanese

[00:35:05] bullet train that goes from here to there instantly, almost, it's because the brain knows where

[00:35:11] it's going.

[00:35:12] The tracks are laid down and you can go as fast as you want.

[00:35:16] All right.

[00:35:16] So that's the familiar.

[00:35:18] It's got that pathway built up and it just, before you blink, it's there.

[00:35:22] But the unfamiliar, it doesn't have the same pathways.

[00:35:28] It's trying to pull from the familiar and it will struggle.

[00:35:32] And that can be hard for some people.

[00:35:34] Yeah.

[00:35:34] You and I had a major health crisis that made us want to stop and change something, right?

[00:35:42] So how does somebody who thinks that they're managing the stress, they haven't had the health

[00:35:48] crisis yet, or maybe they have and they're ignoring the cause of it.

[00:35:52] How do they get the motivation or the nudge to make the change now before that major health

[00:36:00] crisis happens?

[00:36:01] The word motivation is really key.

[00:36:03] All right.

[00:36:04] And sad to say, it's usually pain.

[00:36:06] Pleasure does not motivate the same way that pain does.

[00:36:11] All right.

[00:36:12] So let's say somebody is going to go get married and they want to lose 10 or 20 pounds

[00:36:17] for and get into that fabulous wedding dress.

[00:36:20] So there's a level of motivation there that has a purpose.

[00:36:24] It has a finality.

[00:36:26] It has an end point.

[00:36:27] That is much easier to rise up in terms of positive motivation because it's got an end

[00:36:33] goal.

[00:36:34] But when there's no end goal and it's just infinitive, it just keeps going and going and

[00:36:40] going, then it's going to become a lot harder to motivate.

[00:36:43] So one of the ways to motivate, let's say for a procrastinator, one of the things that

[00:36:49] they need to do if they find themselves procrastinating is bring what they're trying to do down into

[00:36:54] really small, tiny little steps.

[00:36:56] There's an amazing book out there called Tiny Habits and I highly recommend it.

[00:37:00] Tiny Habits.

[00:37:02] And you may have to bring it down to such a small amount.

[00:37:07] So say, for example, I want to start making breakfast and I've never done it and I always

[00:37:12] run out the door and buy something.

[00:37:14] That's not me.

[00:37:15] But that was an example in the book.

[00:37:17] Okay.

[00:37:18] Her tiny habit was so small that I laughed.

[00:37:21] And this corporate executive, her tiny habit was to turn the stove element on, count to three

[00:37:27] and turn it off.

[00:37:29] That was her starting point to learning how to make breakfast.

[00:37:32] Oh, wow.

[00:37:32] From there, from the turning on, she put the fry pan on and then turned it off and walked

[00:37:37] away.

[00:37:38] And then she's standing there one day going, well, why don't I put something in the fry

[00:37:41] pan?

[00:37:42] And so she put something in the fry pan.

[00:37:44] And then again, it just built a belt because when you make it successful, then your brain

[00:37:50] goes, well, I want more.

[00:37:51] It doesn't resist you as much.

[00:37:53] So motivation, even when you're unmotivated, tiny steps are really critical to motivating

[00:38:00] you.

[00:38:01] When you have the motivation, whether it's that wedding dress or whether it's the pain

[00:38:06] in your gut that you can't stand any longer and you go get the doctor's diagnosis on it.

[00:38:13] All right.

[00:38:13] That's a, you don't have to use tiny habits there because you've got a different level

[00:38:18] of motivation.

[00:38:18] So for all those out there that are not motivated, that know they need to change, but don't have

[00:38:23] any motivation, do a tiny little habit that will move you in the right direction.

[00:38:30] And maybe that is counting to five and delaying putting whatever in your mouth and walking

[00:38:37] into another room.

[00:38:38] Another really good trick for the brain is to count down from five.

[00:38:42] Let's say you're lying in bed and you're really bad at oversleeping and then having to dash

[00:38:47] off to work.

[00:38:48] Okay.

[00:38:48] A really good tip.

[00:38:50] All right.

[00:38:51] Is to count down five, four, three, two, one, go.

[00:38:54] And then when you hit that go, you force yourself to go out.

[00:38:56] Now you can't go up one, two, three, four, five, because you see there's a continuation

[00:39:01] that you can go six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 21, 25, 55.

[00:39:06] Okay.

[00:39:06] It doesn't work.

[00:39:07] So you want to always want to go count down five, four, three, two, one, go.

[00:39:11] And then you make yourself shift.

[00:39:15] And it doesn't matter what the shift is.

[00:39:18] You just have to, whether you stand up, whether you shift your chairs, whether you walk out

[00:39:23] of that kitchen, get out of bed.

[00:39:25] All right.

[00:39:25] For those that have really low motivation, that's another little tool that will work well

[00:39:31] for the brain.

[00:39:32] There's a really neat book out there and I'm just blanking out on the name of it.

[00:39:37] But if you were to Google five, four, three, two, one book, you probably come up with the

[00:39:41] name and the author.

[00:39:42] I really like her teachings.

[00:39:44] So yeah, it really motivation, internal, external.

[00:39:49] Those are two types of different motivations.

[00:39:50] So you really, for permanent long lasting, you want the internal motivator, not the external.

[00:39:57] External is just a temporary.

[00:39:59] So as part of your program, do you provide community for people?

[00:40:04] I mean, do they talk to other clients like within a Facebook community or something?

[00:40:09] Or I'm just curious.

[00:40:11] Okay.

[00:40:11] That's a really good question.

[00:40:12] I'm old school and as hard as I tried, I just couldn't get into the Facebook thing.

[00:40:17] I actually have hired a VA virtual assistant.

[00:40:20] Okay.

[00:40:21] To do my postings.

[00:40:22] I helped create the postings and I'm also in a group.

[00:40:25] It's for business.

[00:40:26] But the thing that I realized that I loved was that I had relationship with other people

[00:40:32] with a like focus.

[00:40:33] Okay.

[00:40:34] And they also have a Facebook component for this group, but I'm not in there because I

[00:40:39] find Facebook too superficial.

[00:40:41] Okay.

[00:40:41] All right.

[00:40:41] So long answer or long way around to your answer is no, I don't have a Facebook.

[00:40:48] Community for them because I have never found it beneficial for me, which is a lousy reason.

[00:40:53] But my, the people in the weeks, they get to discuss and share whatever they want and

[00:41:00] they, they can stay in contact with one another after the fact.

[00:41:03] Now, if I get enough people saying, Hey, we want something built into it.

[00:41:08] I will build that in.

[00:41:09] But right now I actually haven't had people asking that you're the first person.

[00:41:16] I was just curious because you said it only takes one person, but we're all so busy these

[00:41:22] days.

[00:41:22] Right.

[00:41:23] And if you have young kids or grandkids or whatever, you're all over the place.

[00:41:27] You work full time.

[00:41:29] It's hard to find that like-minded person.

[00:41:32] Right.

[00:41:33] That's correct.

[00:41:34] Yeah.

[00:41:35] If you, even if you have community or friends, they're not necessarily on the same journey

[00:41:39] in this realm.

[00:41:41] Right.

[00:41:41] So that's why I asked.

[00:41:43] Yeah.

[00:41:43] Oh, totally.

[00:41:45] Yeah.

[00:41:46] No, that was a really good question.

[00:41:47] And so the people that have aches and pains, they'll find community because they're talking

[00:41:51] about them.

[00:41:52] Oh, my shoulder was hurting today.

[00:41:54] And oh, I tripped and fell over here.

[00:41:56] And that builds community because it's a similar topic.

[00:41:59] So if people want community, they want to find people who are like-minded come into my

[00:42:05] group because those are like-minded people.

[00:42:08] Those are people that are serious about changing their health.

[00:42:11] And a lot of them are desperate to change their health because it's a critical point.

[00:42:17] One of the ladies that was in one of my earlier groups, she was about in her early 40s.

[00:42:24] She was a mom of four kids, I think it was, married and had been self-employed prior.

[00:42:31] But her health had crashed so badly, she couldn't work.

[00:42:35] She couldn't parent and she couldn't be a spouse.

[00:42:39] Wow.

[00:42:39] The husband ended up having to do all of that.

[00:42:42] So again, she gained the tools within the eight weeks or the group course that she was

[00:42:47] in.

[00:42:47] It was just slightly longer at that point.

[00:42:49] And she's back at work.

[00:42:51] She's back parenting.

[00:42:52] And she's back being this lovely spouse who has the ability.

[00:42:56] But she has to monitor how she handles stress.

[00:42:58] And sometimes we don't think stress is hitting us because we're so used to deflecting it.

[00:43:04] We've got this really thick armor on.

[00:43:06] But internally, it is affecting us.

[00:43:09] And that's what you have to learn.

[00:43:11] So come into the group and meet some people that can encourage you on your journey.

[00:43:16] And it's only an hour and a half once a week for eight weeks.

[00:43:19] And this one coming up in January is going to be in the evening at seven o'clock on Thursday nights,

[00:43:26] Eastern Standard Time.

[00:43:27] So I've tried to make it available for those that are working rather than having a daytime group.

[00:43:32] That's wonderful.

[00:43:34] Yeah, I actually had a fellow, I asked him, he's got a son that's terminally ill.

[00:43:41] And I asked him how they were, he and the son were doing today.

[00:43:45] And he actually said, I didn't think the stress was getting to me until it got to, until it hit him.

[00:43:51] And it just hit him full board.

[00:43:53] Yeah.

[00:43:54] And so a lot of times we go into survival mode and we don't realize what it's doing to us mentally or physically.

[00:44:02] Yeah.

[00:44:03] We're just trying to survive, like you said earlier.

[00:44:05] And then all of a sudden something happens or changes and you realize, oh my gosh, what am I doing?

[00:44:11] Well, and there's situations like that one where you have to just keep pushing and pushing and pushing.

[00:44:17] Now, I was a caregiver for an elderly lady for about six years.

[00:44:21] And I know what it means, the cost of caregiving, especially when you're the solo person or the majority of the time.

[00:44:29] And so it's really important to build in times where you step away.

[00:44:35] It's important to be able to entrust your loved one into somebody else's hands for a matter of couple of hours, unless you know they're going to be passing really shortly.

[00:44:46] It's really important you keep your sanity because when you're so focused on somebody else and caring for them, you're not listening to your body.

[00:44:54] And like I said at the beginning of our conversation, your physical body is the number one responder.

[00:45:00] It's the first responder to stress.

[00:45:03] Like if you start rubbing your shoulder or your neck and your shoulders, for me, that is a sign I am getting stressed.

[00:45:09] Now, it might be because of bad posture in front of a computer, but that can also be stressful.

[00:45:14] So it's get up, stand up, move around, roll the shoulders.

[00:45:17] That will help you even just stopping and taking a few deep breaths, deep breaths, where you get it all the way down to the bottom of your stomach because stressed people shallow breathe.

[00:45:29] That can help get oxygen to your brain and that will help revitalize and help to bring down the stress.

[00:45:36] And here's a real simple one.

[00:45:37] This is the most simple one of all.

[00:45:39] If you smile, you're giving your brain the message, I'm okay.

[00:45:43] Okay.

[00:45:45] So when you're stressed, fake a smile.

[00:45:49] I mean, fake it.

[00:45:50] Make your brain think that, hey, I'm okay.

[00:45:54] Yeah, I don't feel it, but my brain is saying getting the message because it knows the muscles and it's all connected.

[00:46:00] And simply smiling gives your brain the message, I'm okay, and it will get out of that limbic area.

[00:46:07] So just like we have different rooms in a house, you have different rooms in your brain.

[00:46:11] And right now we're using this front one, frontal lobal system.

[00:46:15] If I put my hand on the forehead and that's the intellectual, we're talking, having an amazing conversation.

[00:46:21] But if I were to flip into the emotional limbic, well, that's not in this room of the house.

[00:46:25] It's in a different room and it uses a different language.

[00:46:29] So that's why you can't, it doesn't work really well to go.

[00:46:32] I'm not stressed.

[00:46:32] I'm not stressed.

[00:46:33] I'm not tired.

[00:46:34] I'm not this.

[00:46:35] I'm not that.

[00:46:35] And you're trying to convince yourself and it's not working.

[00:46:38] It's because you're already in that emotional part of your brain and it doesn't use language.

[00:46:43] It uses pictures.

[00:46:44] That's why pictures are so effective for athletes and CEOs and those that want to see themselves in a different place.

[00:46:53] All right.

[00:46:53] You have to use pictures.

[00:46:55] You mean like visualization or?

[00:46:58] Yep.

[00:46:59] Yep.

[00:47:00] Visualization.

[00:47:01] Visualization.

[00:47:01] That part of the brain is really critical for taking down stress but also helping you to make your goals.

[00:47:07] All right.

[00:47:08] But it doesn't understand language.

[00:47:11] So now the language part of your brain will determine whether or not you're stressed or in danger.

[00:47:16] And if it determines that you're stressed or in danger, it kicks you into the other room.

[00:47:21] It's just like as a parent, you say, get to your bedroom to the younger child.

[00:47:26] And the child goes to the bedroom, might be screaming all the way, but they go.

[00:47:30] All right.

[00:47:31] That's what happens in the limbic system.

[00:47:33] When your brain determines you are stressed or fight, flight or freeze time, you get kicked into another part of the room.

[00:47:41] And logic does not work with somebody in that part of the brain.

[00:47:45] It does not.

[00:47:47] All right.

[00:47:48] You have to get used pictures.

[00:47:50] So that's one of the tools I teach them is how to use pictures.

[00:47:53] And cartoons are the best because if you can get yourself laughing really quickly.

[00:47:57] So, for example, let's say some big bully yells at me on the school field or at the office.

[00:48:05] Okay.

[00:48:05] And I feel this small and I'm stressed and I'm upset about it.

[00:48:09] And I should be.

[00:48:10] All right.

[00:48:10] But if I want to let go of those thoughts that are going round and round and round in my head.

[00:48:15] All right.

[00:48:16] Then I need to see myself increasing inside and shrinking the bully down inside.

[00:48:22] I need to diminish the words and the volume of what they've said.

[00:48:26] And I need to turn up my own volume on something else.

[00:48:29] All right.

[00:48:29] All in my imagination.

[00:48:31] And that helps the limbic system to unhook.

[00:48:35] That's my technical term.

[00:48:36] Unhook.

[00:48:37] I like it.

[00:48:37] I love it.

[00:48:38] I like it too.

[00:48:39] And you can get calmer way quicker.

[00:48:42] But a person whose mind is going over and over and over like a hamster in a wheel for hours or days on end.

[00:48:49] You're in the limbic system.

[00:48:50] That's one of the signs of the limbic system.

[00:48:52] Yeah.

[00:48:53] And I was just going to ask that because when you ruminate on something and you think you let it go and then it's right back.

[00:49:00] Great.

[00:49:01] Yeah.

[00:49:01] That's the limbic system.

[00:49:02] Yeah.

[00:49:07] Okay.

[00:49:08] So the limbic system wants to do two things.

[00:49:10] It wants to solve the problem and it wants to know it's safe.

[00:49:14] So when you're going around and around on the hamster wheel of your thoughts, it's because it's trying to solve the problem.

[00:49:21] So your limbic system can't tell time.

[00:49:25] So when you picture the problem being resolved, then your brain lets it go.

[00:49:33] But when it's not resolved, it keeps staying on it because it's trying to figure out how to resolve the problem, how to figure it out, how to make it safe or do whatever.

[00:49:44] So pictures are great.

[00:49:46] And that's part of learning how to deal with your stressors and, you know, those triggers and all that kind of thing.

[00:49:53] Yeah.

[00:49:54] It's a fascinating world.

[00:49:55] I love it.

[00:49:56] So are there other key symptoms of operating out of the limbic system?

[00:50:02] Like you said, ruminating is being very emotional or very moody one also or?

[00:50:08] Yeah.

[00:50:09] So ruminating, when you emotionally trigger, when you start thinking about yourself in a very negative fashion or maybe even somebody else and you're putting them down, you might not be verbalizing it.

[00:50:20] About a month ago, I think it was three weeks to four weeks.

[00:50:23] I was I got really frustrated.

[00:50:25] I can get frustrated with the technical part of the business side of things.

[00:50:29] This is why I hire people.

[00:50:31] Right.

[00:50:31] But something triggered for me and I just went, I am I called myself stupid.

[00:50:36] I think it was a fail.

[00:50:38] No, it was failed.

[00:50:39] The word failure.

[00:50:40] And I wish as soon as it came out of my mouth, I was shocked.

[00:50:44] I went, what?

[00:50:45] So when those kind of words come out of your mouth.

[00:50:48] All right.

[00:50:48] It's telling you that there's something really deep inside.

[00:50:51] There's a root system.

[00:50:52] And so I chose to do an acronym with the word failure.

[00:50:56] So fun, athletic, intelligent, lovely.

[00:51:03] That's the word fail.

[00:51:04] And then you are kind of thing.

[00:51:06] And so now, which hasn't happened again.

[00:51:09] But if I think of the word failure, I can think of this acronym and go, hey, I'm lovely.

[00:51:13] I'm intelligent.

[00:51:14] I'm this and that.

[00:51:15] And you're reframing it for the brain.

[00:51:18] You're taking the pain out of it.

[00:51:20] And again, it's another way of just working with the brain.

[00:51:22] If their self-talk is really negative or you're really angry or negative towards somebody else

[00:51:29] because of what they've done or caused pain in your life, then you're in the limbic system.

[00:51:34] Wow.

[00:51:35] Yeah.

[00:51:35] That's so interesting.

[00:51:37] Yeah, it is.

[00:51:38] I just want to reinforce that it's really important to not just go, well, I can put up with this.

[00:51:45] Just stop that language.

[00:51:48] That's the language that's going to keep you stuck.

[00:51:50] It's going to get you sick if you're not sick already.

[00:51:53] And just go, I need to do something about this.

[00:51:55] And find somebody to work with the limbic system.

[00:51:57] That's great.

[00:51:58] Yeah.

[00:51:59] So how can people, if they're listening and they say, man, I love Dorothy.

[00:52:03] I want to hear more.

[00:52:04] I want to join her group or whatever it is they're thinking.

[00:52:08] How do they find you?

[00:52:10] What's the best place?

[00:52:11] Great.

[00:52:12] Yeah, great question.

[00:52:13] So go to my website.

[00:52:14] It's my name, DorothyJCook.com.

[00:52:17] We have to have the J because there's other Dorothy Cooks out there.

[00:52:20] Okay.

[00:52:20] So D-O-R-O-T-H-Y, J as in Jackie, C-O-O-K.com.

[00:52:27] And then there's lots of information on the limbic system.

[00:52:31] My story's on there.

[00:52:32] There's a free consult right at the top.

[00:52:35] You can click on that and we can chat.

[00:52:37] But I really do invite people to come in today.

[00:52:40] We group that are interested in getting their health turned around.

[00:52:44] It's an investment.

[00:52:45] I'm not cheap.

[00:52:46] You're going to pay for quickness.

[00:52:48] You're not going to pay for somebody who's inexperienced.

[00:52:51] I've been in this field for over, well, I guess somebody counted up for me.

[00:52:55] It was 37 years I've been in this field.

[00:52:57] Wow.

[00:52:58] And so like Rembrandt, he said, you might have gotten this in three minutes, but it was 40 years

[00:53:04] of my learning that you're getting in three minutes.

[00:53:07] Right.

[00:53:07] So if you want speed, if you want effectiveness, invest in yourself.

[00:53:12] Tell yourself that you're worth it.

[00:53:14] And if you want, if you don't want to pay the high cost, go find somebody else.

[00:53:17] I'm happy to let you go, but I'm worth it.

[00:53:20] They're worth it.

[00:53:20] And it's worth the investment.

[00:53:22] So I would have paid a million dollars actually to have fast forwarded 10 years of my life.

[00:53:27] Like literally 10 years was taken from me.

[00:53:29] Wow.

[00:53:29] So let's end this with this.

[00:53:32] There's a quote that says people who have their health have a thousand dreams.

[00:53:36] People who don't only have one dream and it's to get their health back.

[00:53:41] If you're out there and you know that that's you, because that was me.

[00:53:44] And it sounds like that was you, Michelle.

[00:53:46] Yeah.

[00:53:46] Make the investment or talk to me.

[00:53:48] If you can't afford it, talk to me.

[00:53:50] I've got some other ways to help you.

[00:53:52] And because I don't want to turn anybody away, but I want people that are very serious

[00:53:56] about working on their health.

[00:53:58] And yeah, if you're at the place where you're going, I only have one dream and that's to

[00:54:02] get my health back.

[00:54:03] Make sure you contact me directly through my website and we will find you a way of getting

[00:54:08] some help.

[00:54:09] Well, thank you.

[00:54:10] And thank you for being with us.

[00:54:11] And I love your mission.

[00:54:13] I love what you're doing.

[00:54:14] And I thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom with us today.

[00:54:19] Oh, thanks for the opportunity, Michelle.

[00:54:21] I just want to get that message out there.

[00:54:22] People don't have to suffer, but they do have to make some different choices.

[00:54:27] And sometimes that's hard and you need that little nudge.

[00:54:31] Yeah.

[00:54:31] And to the point of your program, I think people need accountability.

[00:54:35] Yes.

[00:54:35] And it's one of the things that's missing when you try to do it on your own.

[00:54:38] So, oh, do I know that one?

[00:54:41] And exercise.

[00:54:43] I know that one really well.

[00:54:47] Very true.

[00:54:48] I am interested.

[00:54:49] I heard you say that you're training people to be like you.

[00:54:52] So you have a training program as well.

[00:54:54] I'm developing one.

[00:54:55] Yeah.

[00:54:55] And step number one is to go through the eight week program.

[00:54:58] Right.

[00:54:59] Because I can't do it all on my own.

[00:55:01] And so I have one lady that wants to take the system into the prison system.

[00:55:06] Oh, wow.

[00:55:06] All right.

[00:55:07] There's a yeah, there's an here in Canada.

[00:55:09] It's 77.7 percent repeat offender rate going back in.

[00:55:14] In the States, it's closer to 80, 80 something.

[00:55:18] OK, I think it's the mid 80s.

[00:55:20] The rates really high.

[00:55:21] Norway has been able to bring theirs down to 24 percent.

[00:55:25] And we looked at their system and they're doing what I'm doing.

[00:55:28] In fact, I have just copyrighted the program that I work with.

[00:55:31] So now we're going to be able to take it into the prison system.

[00:55:35] So that's just one avenue where we're going to get it in.

[00:55:37] But that's not for me to take it in.

[00:55:39] But that's her heart and her passion.

[00:55:41] And she's actually the one that had the seizures and is down 53 percent.

[00:55:45] And it's just gone through an incredible stressful week.

[00:55:48] And she hasn't seizures.

[00:55:49] I watch her and the people that know her going, this is like over the top miracle.

[00:55:55] Amazing.

[00:55:56] So, yes, I am training people, but they need to be able to say, hey, this is what it did

[00:56:00] for me.

[00:56:01] But if you or other people would love to do that.

[00:56:05] Yeah.

[00:56:06] Let's connect because I want to get this message out there.

[00:56:09] And those that can represent it and have their own experience with it, you're the best ones

[00:56:13] to do it.

[00:56:14] Yeah.

[00:56:14] I know from my own experience that just like the guy said, I thought I was doing okay until

[00:56:20] I wasn't.

[00:56:21] I mean, it's that quick.

[00:56:22] It is.

[00:56:22] And it feels like, I mean, your body's telling you, but you're not listening, like you said.

[00:56:27] Yeah.

[00:56:28] And I even still do it to myself.

[00:56:30] I know I do.

[00:56:31] Even though I've had that health crisis, still sort of have the health crisis, right?

[00:56:36] But you still, you get caught up in everyday life.

[00:56:40] Oh, and you do.

[00:56:41] And like I said, there's times when you have to push hard and long, you know, there's other

[00:56:47] times when you don't have to, those are the times you want to gear down.

[00:56:50] But when you're pushing, there are ways to get your brain not to trigger.

[00:56:55] So you stay calm so that your body, your cells stay open and you handle stress in a much

[00:57:01] healthier fashion.

[00:57:03] All right.

[00:57:03] Yeah.

[00:57:03] I forgot to ask when you can't change the external triggers or factors or stressors,

[00:57:10] can you still learn to manage it?

[00:57:12] Oh, yes.

[00:57:13] Because like, I can't give up my job.

[00:57:15] I am a caregiver and I can't change that.

[00:57:19] So I can't change a lot of the external.

[00:57:22] Right.

[00:57:22] But I need to learn how to deal with what I got, I guess.

[00:57:26] Yes.

[00:57:26] The internals.

[00:57:27] Yeah.

[00:57:27] And you're right.

[00:57:28] So that's what I work with people on is how to change the internal because the externals

[00:57:33] will always be there.

[00:57:34] They might be variation on the theme, but stress is just a part of our world.

[00:57:39] Right.

[00:57:39] It's given.

[00:57:40] Okay.

[00:57:40] But it's learning how to deal with the stress in a healthier manner.

[00:57:45] And that a lot has to do with the brain and the internal and the choices.

[00:57:49] I'm not perfect by any means.

[00:57:51] I went and had that lemon pie, not a whole pie, that little slice of pie the other day.

[00:57:56] When I could feel it in my body, I went, yeah, but we all make our choices.

[00:58:00] But do I live there?

[00:58:01] No.

[00:58:02] That's like, I haven't had one for about a year, probably.

[00:58:06] So yeah, no, we can't change our circumstances.

[00:58:08] And sometimes circumstances dictate our lives.

[00:58:12] But there are some people that can walk away from a job or if they're in an abusive relationship,

[00:58:17] be empowered to get a healthier, make healthier choices.

[00:58:21] And some of them may have to leave, you know.

[00:58:23] So there are some things that we can change, but most of them, but even within those scenarios,

[00:58:30] if we learn to stay calm, if we learn not to freak out like our old regular patterns would

[00:58:37] be because that's that auto bond, boom, you go down the old pathway really quickly without

[00:58:42] thinking and you're screaming or you're panicking or you're this or that.

[00:58:46] All right.

[00:58:48] If you learn the internal control system, then you can stop all of that, literally.

[00:58:55] Avoid it, stop it, bring it down.

[00:58:57] Will it be instant?

[00:58:58] No.

[00:58:59] But depending on how great you are with pictures in your mind, in your imagination, you will

[00:59:05] probably move faster.

[00:59:06] I actually worked with somebody in the medical system, like absolutely left brain, no imagination

[00:59:12] whatsoever.

[00:59:13] And my system didn't work for them.

[00:59:16] And I found that out because it just, we couldn't do it, but they found somebody else

[00:59:20] that worked with their way of their brain pathways.

[00:59:23] And she's doing really well now.

[00:59:25] And I'm really happy for her.

[00:59:26] That's awesome.

[00:59:27] So, so yeah, if you, if you're open to working with the other side of your brain and be a

[00:59:33] little creative and if you're, especially if you're fun loving or it, it can work really

[00:59:37] well.

[00:59:38] If you're, if you have a spiritual bent and you see things spiritually, they work really

[00:59:43] well with this.

[00:59:43] But even if you don't.

[00:59:45] So one of the benefits of my course is if people want to come in for the next round, the next

[00:59:50] eight weeks, I run them four to five times a year.

[00:59:53] They're free.

[00:59:54] It's free.

[00:59:55] Second time around is free.

[00:59:56] Oh wow.

[00:59:56] So you get to practice and work on it.

[01:00:00] And because sometimes this is a really steep learning curve for people and, but everything's

[01:00:05] recorded and they get to re-listen to those.

[01:00:07] And there's a few simple lessons to work on that doesn't stress anybody out.

[01:00:15] That's good.

[01:00:16] Yeah.

[01:00:17] Yeah.

[01:00:18] Okay.

[01:00:18] Well, thank you.

[01:00:19] Yes.

[01:00:20] Definitely stuff to think about.

[01:00:22] Yeah.

[01:00:22] So if this interests you learning more about the brain, let's talk off a camera and see,

[01:00:28] have a chat.

[01:00:29] Well, thank you.

[01:00:30] Thanks so much, Michelle.

[01:00:31] I appreciate it.

[01:00:32] It was great meeting you too.

[01:00:34] So I enjoyed it.

[01:00:35] Oh, I've had fun.

[01:00:36] This was great.

[01:00:38] Oh, thanks, Michelle.

[01:00:40] Anyways, you take care and all the best.

[01:00:42] You too.

[01:00:43] As we wrap up today's episode, I hope Dorothy sharing her knowledge, experience, and wisdom

[01:00:48] has helped you in some way.

[01:00:50] I think one of the most important takeaways may be that even if you think you're handling

[01:00:54] your stress well, your body may not be.

[01:00:57] And we need to start becoming aware of that.

[01:00:59] We also need to start becoming aware of our triggers and learn to desensitize ourselves

[01:01:03] to them.

[01:01:04] There are many different ways to learn how to manage stress.

[01:01:07] We just have to figure out what method may work for us and start utilizing that right

[01:01:12] away.

[01:01:12] I hope you enjoyed today's show.

[01:01:14] I would love to hear from you.

[01:01:16] As always, I hope this episode helps at least one person.

[01:01:19] And with that, I hope you have a blessed week, my friend.

[01:01:26] Thank you for listening to the beauty in the mess.

[01:01:28] If you enjoyed what you heard, please share it with a friend.

[01:01:31] And if you haven't already, please subscribe, rate, and review this podcast on your favorite

[01:01:36] pod player.

[01:01:37] If you have any questions or comments, any topic ideas you would like to hear about,

[01:01:41] or you think you would be a great guest on the show, you can reach me directly at

[01:01:45] thebeautyinthemess.com.

[01:01:47] Thanks for listening.

[01:01:49] Bye.

[01:01:50] Bye.

[01:01:50] Bye.